Wounded
by DramaticField
Summary: Leah Clearwater's broken heart doesn't mend any when she learns Emily and Sam are expecting. Will she ever be able to move on? Read and Review!
1. Baby

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded.**

**Authors Note: This happens after Breaking Dawn, when Leah, Seth and Jacob all return to La Push, and Sam's pack. Italics, just like in Breaking Dawn, are used to show the wolves communication through their wolf form bond. **

**Leah's point of view.**

I was running through the forest, passing the trees gracefully, though powered with force. That's when I heard it. Embry and Quil's conversation.

They were running not too far from me, but they seemed too engrossed in their conversation; the news, to realize I was near. I heard Embry first.

_I can't believe it._

_I know, it's... wow. _Quil's voice responded.

_Leah and Sam tried for a while... _Embry said, as I seen vague images from his head, of Quil now sat across from him, nodding.

_But this happened so fast. They just started trying... She's going to be devastated._

_I definitely don't want to be there when she finds out. _Embry stated.

Confused, I ran to the tree I had tied my clothes too, and phased back, throwing them on before going to find the others. I figured since it was Saturday afternoon, they were all on the beach and I was proved right when I arrived there, seeing everyone sat around, Emily talking, the others listening intently.

Usually they would be frolicking in the water, splashing each other, and having fun while Sam barbequed and Jared begged him to let him try, resulting in Sam handing over the spatula to Jared, hoping he didn't burn anything to a crisp, but not today.

As soon as I stepped onto the rocks, Emily's head shot up, and her happy expression moments ago faded to one of nervousness. As soon as the others saw her reaction, especially Sam, he looked up, and his happiness drained from his face, too, to one of sorrow.

"What's going on?" I asked, a crease forming between my brow. "What don't Quil and Embry want me to know?"

Seth and Jacob got up then from their place on the rocks next to Brady and Paul. The look on Seth's face told me that this would be bad. He walked over to me, and took my hand, Jacob following. "Let's talk,"

I gulped. "Seth, you're freaking me out. What is it?"

Seth didn't answer me right away and Jacob stayed silent as well until we got away from the beach. As they stopped walking, I turned to face them. "What's up?" I demanded.

Seth and Jacob exchanged a glance, and then finally, Jacob answered. "Emily's pregnant, Leah."

The words were a slap in the face. My whole body started to tremble with anger and pain, and it took all I had to stay calm enough to stay in my skin and not phase. My infertility was bad enough, along with the fact that she had taken Sam from me. But her carrying the child of the man I loved, while I stood there, standing by; alone, felt terrible.

That was supposed to be me, growing by Sam, his love and commitment to _me._ Not _her._ I could hardly believe right then, that the one who took everything from me used to be my best friend. Friends didn't hurt other friends, and I guess her betrayal hurt, too. The hostility I felt toward her, even if it was more Sam's fault the her own wasn't fair, but I wasn't able to stop it. I had grown up with her; had slumber parties, watched movies, did each others hair and told secrets. She had walked away from that when she chose to be with Sam. They had both chose each other over me, even if he _had _imprinted.

"It was going to happen someday, right?" I said, trying to stay level-headed. My words were more convincing then I would of thought they'd be, and I gave a shaky laugh, playing it off.

Seth frowned, "Leah, it's okay, I mean-"

"I'm fine," I cut him off. "Honestly, it's no big deal."

Jacob saw through my facade, and I was sure Seth did, too. Jacob went through this once. Finding out the one he was in love with was pregnant with someone else's child. Although, it hadn't been his best friends baby. Or, ex best friend. He had never made love to Bella, feeling the skin on skin contact, the way Sam's lips moulded perfectly to my own, and the way our bodies moved so rhythmically together, never missing a beat. How his hands caressed me, and touched me, and drove me mad. How the love between us burned. No, Jacob didn't feel any of that with Bella, so he didn't understand. No one did.

Heartbreak and I were good friends. I knew it's bitter, empty embrace, it's tears and it's pain just like my own. I was no stranger to the feeling. Heartbreak made everything empty; your heart, your hands, your home, your bedroom, your _life_. To sum it up; I was _used_ to it.

"I'm going home," I said quickly. "See if mom needs anything."

Seth nodded, frowning, knowing any type of effort would fail to keep me here. "Alright, tell her I'll be home soon, okay?"

I nodded, "Will do."

I turned abruptly, before either of them could see the pain in my face.

"Seth, you go back with the others, I'm going to go with your sister." Jacob's voice informed.

I turned, the pain being replaced with anger. "You can't come with me, Jacob. I told you, I'm going home. What do you want?" I snapped.

Jacob didn't respond to my anger. "To talk," he said calmly. "Just to talk."

Seth hesitated before leaving, going back and I turned again, shaking my head. "Go with him, Jacob. I don't need to talk to anyone. I told you, I'm fine." I started walking away, but Jacob, being as stubborn as he was, followed. Maybe he was too much like me.

"Leah," he said in a pleading voice.

This reminded me of when Jacob and I were up on the cliff, before Edward and Bella's wedding, and the chaos that followed it. He was hurting and I had been bugging him, annoying him, and taunting him. Now, the roles seemed to be reversed.

I didn't answer him, instead, I kept walking, and Jacob... he kept following. Had I really been this annoying?

I turned around sharply as he continued to follow. "Jacob, I don't want to talk to you, or anyone else. So just _leave me alone._" I snapped.

We were in a large, grassy area near Emily's house. She and I used to play out here when we were little, riding on her Barbie jeep and playing dolls, giggling as we watched the sun go down before we were called in for supper. It was another lifetime ago.

"Leah," Jacob sighed as he enclosed the distance between us, taking my hands. "Listen to me."

I didn't pull away as I let my eyes wander to his. "What?"

"Sam still loves you, you know."

That was enough. "If you don't leave me alone right now, I swear you'll regret it." I warned, shooting daggers at him with my eyes, pulling my hands back.

"He does, Leah, trust me. God, you have no idea. He still cares about you. Knowing he hurt you kills him." he said, hurriedly.

"_Then why does he still do it!_" I asked, incredulously.

Jacob sighed, "He doesn't mean to, Leah. He's happy with Emily, you know that, and his happiness hurts you, and knowing he hurts you hurts him." 

I shook my head, a frown on my lips. "No, his happiness doesn't hurt me. Having to stick around and _watch _his happiness does." I admitted. "Jacob, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of living here, I'm sick of being linked to him, and I'm sick of having to see _her _suck everything up for herself. I'm fucking sick of it! She's _always _gotten everything she wanted."

Then, unexpectedly, Jacob took me into his arms and rubbed my back. "Leah," he said, sympathy in his voice. "I'm sorry."

I let the words sink in a minute before I pulled back. "Yeah, you and I both." I said, a little more hostility in my words then I meant.

I spun on my heel, but didn't walk away. I looked around the field, the trees surrounding it. As the information from earlier set in, I felt my eyes weld with tears. "How far along is she?" I asked Jacob in no more then a mere whisper.

"Almost two and a half months."

I shivered. Two months of them being intimate. At least. I knew fully well telling myself they weren't was a lie, but still... _knowing _it for certain made me want to throw up everything I had eaten that morning both from disgust and the twisting envy inside me, making my stomach coil into a knot.

"They hadn't been trying long." he clarified, taking a step toward me. My back was still to him, and my arms had wrapped themselves around my stomach.

"Whatever," I said coolly, calming down a little.

"Leah, please... I know how hard this is to go through alone... You were there for me when I needed it... Even if I tried to push you away." he said, chuckling softly at the memory before turning serious again. "Let me help."

"You can't help, Jacob!" I said, turning to face him once again. "Don't you understand that? _No one _can help. You told me yourself I've changed, and yeah, I'm not as cold and stupid and _naive_ as I used to be, but you should understand out of everyone that the pain doesn't change. It hurts everyday I'm away from him, listening to his thoughts about Emily, my _cousin. _When they get married, Sam's going to be my second cousin by marriage, and I still have feelings for him. That's _disgusting_." I said, shaking my head as tears threatened to spill over and my hands were clenched, trying to keep my cool, to stay in my own body.

Jacob frowned as he wrapped his arms around me again. "I'm sorry, Leah, honestly. I know how it feels, maybe in a different way, but I still know. It's the worst feeling ever. You feel like no matter how hard you try, you'll never be better then Edward, or in your case, Emily. I knew I could live through her picking him over me, but the hard part for me was knowing she was giving up her life for him."

I nodded. "I know, Jake." I said before sighing. "It just... I don't know." I paused for a long minute. "You've changed too, you know."

He chuckled. "Really?"

I nodded. "A few months ago, you would of just let me storm off and hoped I got over it. I'm glad we're closer."

He smiled and hugged me tightly to him. "I felt better when I talked about it, I figured you would too."

I nodded, and then bit down on my bottom lip, closing my eyes to stop the tears that were in my eyes from falling. "At least you were supposed to hate Edward in the first place. I can't hate Emily. I hate her for taking Sam, but she makes him happy, and I'm glad. Besides, she's _family_ if nothing more. Our friendships long gone."

Jacob frowned and pulled back to look at me. I looked up at him and seeing the tears in my eyes, he rubbed my back, pulling me close again. "It's okay." He breathed, "You'll always have us all. Embry, Quil, Seth and I won't let you go through this alone."

For once, I felt at ease. Like I could let my guard down, and just be consoled. For once, Jacob had cut through my layers.

"It's not fair," I stated as tears started to steam down my face.

"Life's not fair, Leah." Jacob replied.

"I know that, but this is just..." I shook my head, not knowing the right word. Horrible didn't even begin to describe what it felt like.

"I know," Jacob said gently, into my hair.

Then, Jacob went rigid. I felt his body tense beside mine.

I looked up at him, wiping the tears off of my cheeks before looking in the direction he was.

Sam and Emily.

They took the shortcut back to their house, that being through the field. I gulped, looking away immediately, back to Jacob. "I'm going to go," I said swiftly.

Before he could object, knowing Sam and Emily had both seen the pain in my eyes; the real Leah Clearwater, weak and hurt, I ran. I ran into the woods, and this time, I didn't hear Jacob following.

**Jacob's point of view.**

Leah needed me, and I was glad she finally opened up, even if her pain hurt me, too, and the topic was extremely uncomfortable. But when she left so abruptly, I couldn't help but feel bad.

I should of followed her, but Sam approached me, and I felt frozen. "How is she?" he asked, his voice low, holding back the emotion that I knew should of been there. But before I could answer, Seth appeared, walking into the clearing, seeming to of heard Sam's words. Seth's hearing was the best out of all of us, human form, or wolf.

"Honestly, no disrespect," Seth said, directing his words to Sam as he came to stand by me. Hostility filled his voice. "But how do you think she is?"

Seth's words were… out of place coming out of his mouth. He was always so polite and kind.

Emily frowned. "I didn't want to hurt her."

I knew that, and I knew Seth knew that she didn't ask for this, but, he seemed to react impulsively. "Didn't want to hurt her? You took Sam from her in the first place." Seth said, shaking his head. "Do you know how many nights I woke up, and heard her crying when you first left her, Sam? And eventually, it stopped. Not just the crying: Everything. It's like she stopped _feeling_. Like she wasn't the same girl anymore."

Emily looked down at the ground, and Sam looked at Seth, stunned. If I had said that, Sam would of chastised me immediately, giving me a look that surely would of turned me to ash for making Emily feel bad and because I should of understood. But it wasn't me. It was Seth, and showing Sam his pain, along with his sisters over what he had done wasn't done to intentionally hurt Emily. Along with the fact that Seth and Emily were family.

"Now, she has to look at you both everyday, or hear your thoughts, Sam, and know how much you love Emily, and the baby. Really, you expect her to be the slightest bit okay? You know, she's taking it better then anyone else I know."

We were all shocked at Seth's words. None of us expected for him to speak up like that, but I guess a guy could only take so much.

"Seth…" Sam said, sighing. "I'm sorry."

Seth looked at him, despondent. "Yeah, me too." he said before turning to walk away.

"Seth," I choked out, frowning as he turned back to look at me.

"Yeah, Jake?"

"Wait for me." I turned to Sam. "I'll be back sometime tonight or tomorrow." I clarified before we both turned, and left the clearing together, to go find Leah.

**Author's Note ; **

**So, originally, this was supposed to be a one shot, but I'm kind of curious to explore Leah, Jacob, Sam, Emily and the pack a little more, so, depending on the feedback I get, I may do a short chapter story? :)**

**Review ! **


	2. Emily

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded **

**Chapter Two**

**Leah's point of view.**

My human feet took me as far as I could go until I was suddenly exhausted. I didn't want to phase, knowing Quil and Embry were recently in their wolf forms and they quite possibly still were. They didn't need to be tormented with my thoughts and feelings even if I used to do it frequently, just to annoy them all. At the time, it seemed like the best way to let my own grief out. By making them feel it, too.

I knew Sam had _chose _me at one point in time, but Emily- Emily had been chosen _for _him. Except he had failed to fight for us, fight for what we had and that right there showed me, after I learned the truth, that I hadn't been good enough for him. He needed more, and subsequently, that was Emily Young, my second cousin, and old best friend. Fate, or even something more powerful had chosen her for him, and even if it had, it seemed to be right because Sam acted like she was the only thing holding him on the earth. Even if that was how imprinting was supposed to be.

I didn't always used to be a compassionless shrew. I used to be nice, social, and… tolerable. I used to be Leah Clearwater, the proud daughter of Harry and Sue, and devoted sister to Seth. Used to be. Now, although I still stood by my loyalty to Seth, I knew I would never be that girl that mom watched out in the yard one day, taking care of her children in the arms of a man who treated her like a princess. The one dad watched over from heaven, - or wherever he was, and smiled upon. I really wished his last year or so had been of seeing me laugh, smile and be daddy's little girl instead of the bitter bitch I had been; I was. That nagged at me all the time.

Sam Uley had broke me when he left me. He had scarred me permanently, kind of like he had Emily. But my scars couldn't be seen, and were covered up from anyone's vision. The scars he had given her were fixed and mended with love, only a memory still staring back at him. Her pain from them were long gone, but mine; mine was everlasting.

I didn't know if that would ever change.

"Leah," I heard my name be spoken.

I sat on a rock at the edge of a small clearing I was familiar with, but I hadn't been expecting out of anyone to come to look for poor little Leah Clearwater, that Emily would be the one to sought me out.

"Emily?" I asked, seeing her come closer, stopping before she came too close.

"Leah, I'm sorry." She said.

"Please," I said, rolling my eyes. "Can we not get on with this bullshit _again_?"

It was true that Emily had tried to apologize multiple times since the break up, to the present day, but everytime, I had just pushed her away. I thought after the second or third time, she would just go away, but no, she kept coming back, which was worse then if she _had _just gone away. She was like a disease that was never cured. Like the painful, neverending ache in your joints of someone diagnosed with arthritis.

The corner's of Emily's mouth turned down in response. "I miss you, you know. I really do…"

"I miss the old you, too, but shouldn't the new you be in the kitchen cooking for the boys and nesting with Sam?"

"Can we talk?" she asked, shaking her head. "Stop, Leah. I just want to talk."

"You want to talk?" I asked, my face blank. "Emily, you'll never be ready to hear what I have to say to you, and in all honesty, I don't know if I'm ready to verbalize my feelings toward you." My words were ice, but I didn't care.

"Leah-" She said again, in a soft, begging tone. It was like she was ignoring everything I said.

"Emily, you don't _know_ me anymore." I interjected. "I don't want to hear your bullshit about being sorry, or how you couldn't help but fall for him; his big, strong arms and soft lips. I don't want to hear it. If I wanted to make nice, I would of by now. So go run back to Sam telling him how bad you feel about everything, and then make love all night long before painting the baby's room in next morning, okay?" I spat, getting off the rock, and walking out of the shallow woods, coming to the edge of the cliffs.

She followed. _Fuck, _she was getting just as annoying as Jacob now. "Leah Clearwater, I know that little girl who told me her deepest secrets and worse fears is still inside. The girl I once knew and loved. The one who stuck up for me and made me feel better when a boy 'broke my heart.' I know that Leah is still inside you somewhere, and you miss me just as much as I miss you."

I crossed my arms over my chest. What did I have to say to hurt her? To make her feel just as badly as she made me feel everyday. I shivered at the thought. _I wanted to hurt her_. Did that make me a monster? Wanting her to feel the pain I went through day-in, day-out?

Emily's eyes welled with tears, and I didn't get a chance to think of a way to respond before she spoke up again. "Leah! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! It hurts me to know how much I hurt you, I _tried_ to push him away. I did!"

I knew that was the truth, but instead, I let the jealous and indignant Leah get the better of me. "You didn't try hard enough, now get out of my face." I spat, turning once again to the large, blue body of water below me.

"Nothing I do will make you forgive me, will it?" she asked, her voice broken.

I laughed bitterly. "Rewind let's say… three years, and we'll start there."

She sighed, "If I could, I would you know."

My brow furrowed, and I faced her. "But you love him?"

"But you do too."

"No," I said immediately. "I hate Sam Uley."

It was Emily's turn to laugh. "Leah, you know as well as I do that that's not true."

"It might as well be." I said. "Doesn't make any difference if I do or not."

There was a long silence. "It does to him." She said, defeated.

I laughed again, "Yeah, that's why he left me, right? Don't worry Emily, I totally understand where you're coming from. He still loves me to pieces. I don't see why you're with him when he obviously loves me so much." I paused, my flamboyant, fake words dropping to ice. "Oh wait, that's you."

She frowned. "He still cares about you."

I shrugged. "And that gets me where?"

Emily sighed. "I don't know, Leah... I just want more then anything to be able to be friends again." she paused, "I need to ask you something." She said finally, biting her lip.

I raised a brow. "Okay?"

She took a deep breath in, her dark eyes looking out to the water for a long minute. I watched her try to get herself together and gain... courage?

"Well," she said after a minute, letting her eyes glance to my face. "I know it's a terrible time to ask, but I don't think that any time would exactly be a good time: I want you to be my maid of honour at the wedding." She rushed through her words.

I looked at her, dumbfounded. "Maid of honour?" I asked, my disbelief turning bitter as I let a loud, obnoxious laugh escape my lips. "Maid of honour." I repeated, pausing. "You expect me to stand up there, at your wedding, catering to your needs when the man you're marrying should be marrying _me_!" I asked, outraged at this point. Each of my words were accentuated, a pause between every one. "The man I still love, the man I lost my _virginity _to!"

She shuddered at the last part, like she had blocked that memory out and convinced herself otherwise. Well boy, I had news for her.

"He loved me so much, Emily. More than you'll ever know. That night, the one I described to you the next day on the phone. The way he touched me, and caressed my body, his lips never leaving mine only to kiss down to my collarbone and back. His grace and careful motions. Do you remember any of that? The way he was the only one who could calm me down when I was mad, just by kissing me, or _looking _at me with those smouldering eyes that I was sure I could get lost in and never, ever find my way out." At this point, my rage was dimmed, tears threatening to take over and wrack my body. "Do you remember any of that?" I asked again.

A crease formed between her brows as she nodded, apparently letting me continue; vent.

"Do you remember that time I called you, after he had told me he wanted a family? How happy I had been; joyous. How I wanted nothing more then to be able to settle down with him in a small cottage somewhere far from La Push and have a small, happy family. How I was such a firm believer in the future; _our _future. I believed we could make it to forever and back. Till death do we part, you know? I guess I really was just a love struck, naïve child."

She closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly shut. "Yes, I remember, Leah." The words were filled with pain and she cringed again. "I remember it all. Everything you told me, everything he was to you, but I didn't chose this! I loved seeing you happy, that's all I ever wanted!" she cried, looking at me with desperate eyes. She was desperate for me to come back to her, but I knew that forgiveness one day, or not, our friendship was long gone; destroyed. The only thing left were the memories that filled both of our minds, and hearts, the ones that ached when we thought of them, each of us longing for them to be reality once again. But our friendship couldn't be more fragmented; demolished.

The look on her face told me I had gotten what I wanted; I hurt her. But as the commendation filled me, I wished I had never said anything and I felt the good feeling fade to one of… hatred. But not for her; for myself.

She had hurt me over and over again, but I still felt bad hurting her. What was up with that? I should relish in the feeling and commend myself for finally giving her some of it back, but no, I still had a place for her in my heart. I hated myself a little more for that.

"I'll do it." I stated, turning from her, and watching the waves break, crashing to shore.

"Do what?" she asked, shaken up.

"I'll be your damn maid of honour, Emily. If that will fucking make you leave me alone afterwards." I said, shaking my head as a tear slid down my cheek.

I heard her gasp, and she ran over, wrapping her arms around me from behind. "Thank you Leah! Thank you so, so much!"

I nodded. "But if you think it changes anything, you're wrong."

I felt her arms drop, and her voice was… optimistic. Like she expected me to change my mind eventually. "This means a lot to me, Leah."

"Yeah," I stated. I did it out of selflessness, and my own selfish need of closure, whether it would come or not.

There was a long silence.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" she asked, her voice, pensive.

I nodded solemnly. "Yeah," I stated.

She nodded. "Thanks Leah, I'll call you with the details."

"Sounds good."

"See you later."

"Yeah."

Then, I heard her leave, her light footsteps fading slowly to nothingness.

I wrapped my arms around my torso and I let the tears I was holding back overflow. They streamed down my face in a never ending pattern and I sat down on the edge of the cliff, my legs feeling wobbly underneath me. I couldn't remember the last time I cried; I mean, _really _cried and sobbed. I used to cry myself to sleep every night, as a broken hearted teenaged girl, but every night, it had made me grow stronger; tougher, cynical, and my favourite: bitter. I changed a little every night, becoming harder and less caring. My emotional state, as people called it, eventually faded, and people thought it was because I was resilient at first; that I had begun to get over it, and accept it. Until they saw the change. The old Leah Clearwater had long vanished, slowly at first, but surely. I couldn't remember that girl. The girl who people liked, and didn't hate to be around.

I sat there, loathing myself, my feelings and wishing for the past to come back to me as much as I knew I would never take Sam Uley back again now if the world parted and I was the only one he wanted again. There was too much damage. Just like Emily and I. I still didn't understand my rash decision to accept her offer; being her maid of honour. I felt like I owed her something after seeing how my words hurt her. But I didn't for the life of me know why. I would never owe Emily Young anything, her life should have been devoted to me, not my ex-boyfriend. She chose him over me, and that decision would scar us both for a lifetime.

**Authors Note:**

Well, I decided Leah and Emily needed to be… explored a little more. And this is what came out of it. I know some think Emily wouldn't have the guts to ask Leah to be in the wedding party, but really, Emily doesn't really have any girl friends that we're aware of, and her and Leah at one point shared a very tight bond. I also think Emily longs for their friendship back, kind of thinking that if they did something together, it would fix everything. I wasn't sure how much more I should cram into this chapter where I wanted to mainly focus on Emily and Leah, so I decided to cut it off where I did. I'm hoping to get a Leah-Sam thing in there somewhere before the wedding. I love writing in Leah's point of view. Her pain is beautiful and intense and heartbreaking, much like Rosalie's, I think that might be why I love writing her so much. There is also a possibility of Jacob's point of view starting the next chapter, so in your review, let me know where YOU think the next chapter should start and who's point of view it should be in! I love hearing where you think it should go, and it could quite possibly give me enough inspiration to take it there! :)

**Review and another chapter will be up shortly!**

**- DramaticField / Becca. **


	3. Dreams

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Three**

**Leah's point of view**

I laid on my bed, my eyes closed as I heard faint noises of life downstairs. From the aroma creeping up the stairs, I assumed she was baking. Like usual. She said it helped take her mind off of things. Off of Dad's obvious absence.

I missed him, of course, but he was Mom's husband, and knowing the pain I had gone through, - and continued to go through, the long days and sleepless nights after I lost Sam, I knew it wasn't the same pain that I felt for his death. Though maybe if Sam had died, and I knew he loved me with all of his heart beforehand, it would of hurt less than to see him move on with my second cousin, out of all possible people. Then again, it would also of arose a whole new world of different questions. I guess neither was easier than the other. At least one of us was happy.

I'd never forgive whatever God there was for taking my dad away from us. I'd never forgive Emily, either, for taking Sam away from me. Whoever said there was good in the world didn't know the cruelty lurking in the shadows of every street corner. Just waiting to pounce on the first, happy victim that strolled by, shattering their hopes, and their dreams, and their aspirations. Taking everything away from them in just one glace... Just _one _glance.

I shivered. I hadn't been home long, about... fifteen minutes, maybe, when I heard the front door open, and footsteps creep up the stairs. At first, I thought it was Seth, a reasonable assumption since when I got home, he still hadn't shown up. Maybe he left me alone to suffer in solitude because he was scared I would get mad, erratic, even. Or maybe he just didn't know what to say. Either way, I was alone. Though, the footsteps grew closer to my door.

A few, long moments had passed before my ajar bedroom door opened fully, Embry Call standing at the threshold to my room. A sigh escaped my lips, "Embry..." I breathed, sitting up into a sitting position on my bed, leaning against the headboard. "What are you doing here?"

Embry frowned, and stepped inside, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed. "To see if you're okay." he stated before hastily correcting himself. "Er, to see how not okay you are."

I sighed, closing my eyes for a minute, "I know just as much as you do that you don't want to be here. I know you'd rather be off with the guys, hanging around and making mindless bets, joking around, and eating Emily's cookies, so why don't you just go and do that?" I told him.

Embry sighed. "Leah, no, I don't exactly want to be here, and see you like this. But I hate seeing you unhappy. We all do. Don't you get that?"

"Apparently not; but forgive me if I don't see all your soft, maternal sides when all Paul does is tell me to get over it and lighten up. All you guys shy away from me, like I'm some ticking time bomb that you can't go near." I informed him. "If I was going to burst, I would of by now."

"It's easier that way." Embry said hastily before I could shut him out further. "None of us know, or understand some of the things you're going through. It's hard for us to try and sympathize when we don't _understand._ It's easier to just stand back and hope for the best, I guess."

"Then why don't you go do that?" I asked, a harpy edge to my voice.

"Because I _do _understand." He replied, biting his bottom lip nervously. "Or well," he paused. "I _want_ to."

"You never got hurt," I stated, "You never lost anyone you loved." I choked the words out, not wanting to admit anything Sam and I shared out loud, and not wanting it to sound like it still bothered me; because it didn't. "You'll never know, so stop trying. You don't want to know how it feels, take my word for it."

Then, before I could rationalize my thoughts, Embry pulled me close, surprising us both it seemed.

Embry was a good guy, I had to admit. He was one of the last out of Jacob's friends to change, before Collin and Brady, but he seemed like an okay guy. Though, out of everyone who could of came over, Embry would of been least likely in my mind. Well, after Paul, of course. In fact, remembering his words from earlier between he and Quil, when they were in their wolf forms, it seemed as though he pitied me, and that was anything but okay. I didn't need his pity, or anyone's for that matter. Pity was for the weak, and weakness wasn't a quality I possessed.

"Your mom let me in. She wanted me to make sure you were okay, she's worried. Sam called her, and told her about the pregnancy. He also told her that you knew as well."

I groaned, the strange closeness to Embry... odd; awkward. "Of course he did. I wish he would just lose my number; lose everything."

"Leah," Embry said, disapprovingly.

"No," I said quickly, pulling back and looking up to his eyes so he would understand. "Not everything as in Emily, or the baby," I cringed at the word, my stomach flipping and flopping in an uncanning rhythm. "Just... anything that belongs to _me_."

A frown turned Embry's lips down. "Leah, what you both had... it was... amazing, as far as I can tell from both your thoughts, on rare occasions. And you have no idea, -since you only patrol with Sam rarely, if at all. But you have no idea the guilt he feels... How much he hates himself. You wanna know why he hates the Cullen's so much?" He asked, not giving me time to answer him before his words tumbled out. "Because they made him change into _this_. They made him imprint, and they made him leave you. He _wanted_ to be with you forever. He _wanted_ to grow up, and have a family and get married. But when he phased, as much as he loves Emily now, the Cullen's took all of it from him. He lives with the guilt _everyday_, Leah."

"Yeah and when he's in Emily's arms, cuddling with her, and _fucking_ her, he hates himself, right?" I asked, knowing how unfair it sounded. What Embry said sounded somewhat true, but it still didn't make me feel better. Sam living with guilt wasn't as bad as what I had to go through. He had Emily, after all... And a baby on the way. My stomach flopped again, making me feel nauseous. Somehow, I got some sick satisfaction in knowing Emily would feel nauseous for the next nine months. Or, well, four and a half if you wanted to get to the gritty details of the glorious thing in life called pregnancy.

"Leah," he chastised me. "You know, this is why we don't bother." He said, harshly. "You don't accept any of our help, or anything we tell you. You deny it, even though deep inside, you know it's true." He shook his head, before continuing. "You think we're all clueless, Leah. You think just because you put on the bitch act, we believe it. It only shows us how much you're hurting, believe it or not. God, you can be so stubborn. You know, sometimes we're not too sure if there _is_ anything else under your harsh exterior. That maybe, just maybe, you really are who you want us to believe you are. "

I looked at him, my face, emotionless. "You done?"

He sighed, "Yeah."

"Then leave, I don't need this. You want to know why I put on the supposed 'bitch' act?" I asked sharply. "Because it's easier than pretending to be something I'm not. I _am _a bitch, Embry. I'm _cold_, and _lifeless_."

"No, you're not." He interjected. "A bitch doesn't care for anyone, or give a shit about anything. The loyalty you show to Seth is... remarkable. You would do anything for him and your mom."

"Wouldn't anyone?"

"That's not the point."

"Then enlighten me," I said, obviously irritated. "What _is _the point of this?" I asked, motioning to the both of us sitting on the bed. "Because forgive me if I have no idea what you're getting at? If anything. Do you want to tell me more reasons why you don't see the point in 'bothering' with me? Or was there really some good motive behind this lovely conversation?"

Embry pinched the bridge of his nose. "We all know you're not okay." He stated after a long moment. I could tell my bitchy-ness was annoying him.

"I am okay."

"Maybe in your dreams." He said cooly.

"No, in my dreams, everything is okay again. I don't have to pretend there." I said, staring at the dark blue wall in front of me, finding shapes in the plaster job behind the paint in some places where pictures used to reside.

"Exactly."

"What?"

"Stop this, Leah. Start living again."

"No," I stated, finally understanding the whole picture to his surprise visit. "You want me to get over Sam. Did he send you here? To try and tell me to get over him and befriend Emily again?" I asked, incredulously. "Or did you and the guys just want me to be happy so I don't ruin _your_ stupid fun?"

Embry was silent for a moment, and that was all the confirmation I needed. "Leah," He started.

"No. Go away, Embry. This conversation's over." I stated coldly.

"Leah!"

"No," I got off the bed, walking over to the window, peering out at the gloomy sky. "Just go."

"He didn't send me! I swear." He said, and for some reason, the desperation in his tone made me believe him.

"Well there has to be some truth to what I said. Don't shoot the messenger, right?" I asked, turning to face him, leaning against the windowsill. "Well I don't live by that principal, so, what is it? Why are you here? Because it's sure as hell not on your own free will."

Embry looked down at his hands. "Emily needs you Leah."

"Next."

He sighed, "The guys need you to get over Sam. Apart from your thoughts, they're worried about you. If you don't get over him soon, you never will." There was the truth I was looking for.

"I _am _over Sam, why don't you all understand that?" I said, rolling my eyes, carefree.

"Somehow, I have trouble believing that."

"I don't know why."

"Leah," he said, sighing. "No one sent me. I just figured you'd be upset after hearing about the baby. Maybe want someone to talk to. I know we're far from friends, but none of us are big enough jerks to just think that you're fine and not care."

"So did you expect me to just like... jump in your arms or something? Proclaim to whatever heaven there is that I need help?" I asked.

Embry rolled his eyes at me. "But you have no problem crying in Jacob's arms?" His tone was harsh; accusing.

My eyes widened and I gulped. My reaction to his words were close to the reaction that would have registered on my face if he had just slapped me in the face. "Where did you hear that?"

"Jacob." He said solemnly before deciding to justify. He seemed to get amusement at of taking me off guard. "He phased to run home, and didn't realize Quil and I were still in our wolf forms. He was torn up. He hated to know the pain he went through, you're going through. He was thinking about what had happened, and we saw it."

I squeezed the bridge of my nose, taking a slow, deep breath in before letting it out. There was nothing I could say to that, really. No sarcastic remark to brush it off, and no way of really acknowledging it, either.

"It's okay, Leah." He said. "Everything will be okay."

I shook my head, "No, everything's _far _from okay, and it never will be okay. That's the thing, Embry. Jacob accepted it, and moved on. He's okay, now. He still wants to find someone, but he's accepted Bella is nothing more than a friend. I've accepted that Sam's never coming back, too, but I can't... _live_. I'm stuck here; frozen. The only thing I can do is live day by day and hope that one day, seeing them together, or the thought of them having a family won't make my stomach churn and my whole body to feel sick." I paused, "I'm stuck here, in this place, metaphorically speaking. Then again, being a wolf also keeps me stuck here, in La Push. Otherwise, I'd be gone. Off to University, maybe. To study Law, or do _something _with my life other than stand by and be the jealous and bitter ex-girlfriend. You don't understand any of it." My voice still held the cold persistency that it had earlier, but there was also some insight lingering in my words; begging him to realize nothing would help and that he needed to accept it.

Embry watched me with... sympathy? in his eyes, but before he had a chance to speak, I heard Sam call out to him. How did he know Embry was here?

"I have to go," he said softly, standing up before walking over and engulfing me into a hug similar to the one Jacob gave me earlier, in the clearing. "It's going to be okay." He repeated his words from earlier, despite my rant. "I'll be back, and we'll talk." He informed me before turning on his heel and walking out the door. I wished he wouldn't be, this just wasn't fair. They ignored my feelings for years and now, suddenly they thought they could all have turns playing Dr. Phil? All trying to patch me up and probably betting on who could make me crack first. No fucking way. They made their beds long ago, and just like Sam Uley, they could quiet contentedly lay in them for the rest of forever.

I slumped back down on my bed and shook my head. What was I supposed to do now?

* * *

Sam approached me, the look on his face registering adoration that I hadn't seen in years. His big, chestnut eyes beamed into mine, all seriousness gone from his warm, loving features.

I was beyond confused as he approached me on the beach, immediately wrapping his arms around my waist, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss upon my lips. "Lee-Lee," he breathed, the warmth sending shivers down my spine as my body tensed. He kissed me...? The familiar feel from years ago, when it was just me and him was all too real; too memorable and fresh for anything to have ever happened between us.

"You love Emily..." I said, dumbfounded.

"I miss you," he stated, "I always have, Lee." As the words left his lips, his eyes gazing into my own still, I shivered.

"But you love Emily." I restated.

"But I love you, too." He counter-acted.

"But you can't have the both of us."

"Then I chose you, Leah." The words flowed from his lips, all too genuine and caring. "It's always been you. It will _always_ be you."

Everything besides his face was blurry; non-existent; black. The way my heart started to beat a hundred beats per second and my palms started to sweat made my head spin. I leaned up on my tip-toes, placing a kiss to his lips.

And that was when I jumped.

Covered in sweat, laying in bed, I awoke from my slumber hearing the front door of the house shut loudly. The gusting wind flowing through the house because of the window open in the kitchen to allow the heat from mom's cooking to do something other than set the smoke alarm off had made the door slam shut my mind registered. Seth must be home.

I hadn't even remembered falling asleep, but dreams... no, nightmares were quite... frequent. They were the exact reason I had pushed sleep away for the longest time at one point. The nightmares had been haunting me since the night Sam ended our relationship and left me for Emily. Though no matter how accustomed to them I had become over time, they never got any easier when I awoke. However in the last little while, they had started to back off, leaving me in a dark, black, dreamless sleep. I didn't know what was worse; living in a desire in a dreamlike state, or waking up just as empty as I had fallen asleep.

There was a lump in my throat, and I fought back tears as I hauled myself out of bed, my body feeling immobile as I crossed the hall to the bathroom. I locked the door, turning the shower on, getting undressed and stepping into the hot water, letting it run down over my cold, numb body.

**Authors Note:**

**I hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm pleasantly surprised with the voting, and the reasoning/****explanations****/opinions behind everyone's vote. I will say that just because Embry starts this chapter, does not mean he was the one chosen. I had the beginning of this chapter written before I got you all to vote, so sit tight and you'll see how this all plays out. **

**Remember, review and another chapter will be out sooner! (:**


	4. Memories

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Four**

**Author's note: Italics are flashbacks, emphasis and communication through their bond in their wolf form. I'll judge that you can figure out which is which. Also, the '/' marking's around the italics are for emphasis on a word since I can't italicize italics and bolding isn't really my thing. **

**Enjoy!**

**Oh, and if there's any suggestions/comments/etc, don't be afraid to leave it in your review, or if you want a reply, PM me and I'll be sure to get back to you! **

**

* * *

**

**Leah's point of view**

I slipped into a fresh pair of grey jogging pants and a black, fitted tank top after my shower. I threw the clothes I was wearing beforehand into the hamper and ran my brush through my hair before quickly drying it. It dried straight, like always and I unplugged the hair dyer, laying it on the floor to cool off.

If I was being honest, I missed my long hair that flowed almost the full length down my back, although it was impossible to keep it that length having phased. My cropped hair kept my fur short, although still a little shaggy in my wolf form. That's why some of the guys completely shaved their head, only stubble left. Though honestly, I had thought about cutting it off before I phased. When Sam and I were dating, he made no effort to hide his opinion on my hair; he liked it long. That way he could play with it and tangle his fingers in it.

When I had finally digested that we had broken up, memories tortured me, mainly promises that were made and broken. He had broken all the promises he made me, or so it seemed, so in return, I wanted to break all of mine. The ones he left unbroken when he walked away.

_"Leah?" Sam's voice flowed into my ear, one arm wrapped around me from behind the other, playing mindlessly with the hair pushed behind my shoulders._

_We were sat on First Beach, under the stars. It was a usual hang out for us, especially in the night. We both loved the way the moonlight made everything glow warmly. It was convenient, too for after fires when neither of us really wanted to leave the other and go home right away._

_"Yes?" I breathed, tilting my head to the side, meeting his almond eyes._

_"Don't ever cut your hair off," he said softly, his breath warm on my cheek. __**  
**__  
I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Alright,"_

_"Promise?" he asked more seriously. _

_"I promise," I told him, feeling his lips brush the side of my neck._

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, the memory all too real... All too familiar for it to be almost three years previous.

I remembered cutting it off, too. We had only been broken up about six months before I phased. That had been the last straw and the final push I needed to break that promise; one of the few I was still able to break.

_I stared in the bathroom mirror, my long locks damp and cascading down my chest, stopping just passed my belly button. I couldn't remember the last time I had cut it. But there I was, scissors in hand, my chest tight with fear._

_There's no words to really describe a girl's connection to her hair. Really, I hadn't thought all that much about it until I realized it was going to be gone. Since I was young, it had just been there, and I allowed it to grow until mom insisted on cut the dead ends off every now and then. _

_Although, I hadn't realized the memories it held, as stupid as it sounded. The way Sam would play with it, and the way he caressed it __subconsciously. __**  
**__  
Thinking of him made anger rise in my chest, and that's when I brought the scissors up, right under my chin, opened them and then squeezed._

_"Leah," Seth whined on the other side of the locked door. It was around seven am, and he needed to get in the bathroom to get ready for school, but as long, brown strands of hair floated to the floor, it took me a few, long moments to realize what had happened. I dropped the scissors, tears pooling in my eyes seeing the new Leah staring back at me in the mirror. "Open the door! Come on, Lee! I need to get ready! You take forever!" He whined a little more, half-begging me to unlock the door and let him in. _

_I didn't answer him, and he pounded on the door with his fist. He was still getting used to the extra-strength he possessed since phasing and the wooden door rattled against the small space in between it and the door frame. Still, no response formulated in my head to his pleads. Disbelief was all that was coursing through me. _

_"I'm getting mom!" Seth called, childishly and impatiently as I heard him stalk off down the hall and the stairs. _

_I had always had long hair, and now, seeing it gone, it was a changing point. I felt oddly hopeless. Though another part of me... One that was thrilled by the change, one that was excited to see Sam's face when he realized that he wasn't the only one who could go back on their promises relished in the new appearance staring back at me. The different perspectives clashed, and I felt a couple warm, salty tears fall down my cheeks, streaking them with dampness. _

_My mom knocked on the door, then, her voice tired and exasperated. "Leah, open this door right now. Your brother needs to get in there. You've been in there for," she paused, probably looking at her watch. "Forty-five minutes." Her voice wasn't harsh, she just hated that she still had to be the mediator for Seth and me at times._

_My eyes dropped from the mirror, and my head turned to stare at the door before reaching out, and unlocking it mechanically._

_When she heard the lock click, mom opened the door and stepped inside. She looked at me; her daughter, and her tired, sleepy eyes grew wide; shocked. As she finally digested what happened, moments later, she shook her head, frowning. "Leah..." she breathed, gulping as she reached out, pulling me into her arms. "Oh Lee..."_

_She had probably thought I was just a rebellious teenager, wanting to do anything to get attention.- Wanting to do anything to get Sam's attention back. When she finally pulled back to look at me, she brought her hand up to run it through the short hair in disbelief. _

_She shook her head, bending down and taking the fallen scissors off the floor. "Come here," she instructed._

_I took a step towards her to stand in front of the mirror again, and she finished the cutting job, cutting off the left side to the length of the right, and making it even._

A grin filled my lips thinking back to Sam's face when he first saw me after that day. It was like he hardly recognized me at first, but when everything started to make sense to him, his eyes left me and he closed then for a long moment before going like a puppy back to Emily; his rightful owner.

I sighed, shaking my head as I rose from the seat in front of my vanity and went downstairs. Enough reminiscing, I thought, it got me nowhere.

So I descended down the stairs and plopped down on the chesterfield in the living room, grabbing the remote for the television and pressing the red power button on the top of the thin, black controller. An ad for Jenny Craig was currently playing and I subconsciously wondered if Sam would pay anything for Emily if she wanted to get her flat stomach back after the baby was born, coming to the speedy conclusion that of course he would.

A baby.

I could almost picture the large, pools of chocolate called eyes, filled with adoration and cheerfulness. However before I was able to build up anymore characteristics in my head, - Like i had done multiple times before for _my _and Sam's future children, or so I thought, there was a knock on the door. I quirked a brow as I stood from my seat on the couch and I walked over to the doorway, unlocking it and turning the knob to reveal a very business-looking Sam Uley.

"Leah," he started, before I could tell him to leave, "I want to talk to you."

"And what do you call this?" I asked impatiently.

He sighed, "Look, can I come in?"

"No."

He pushed past me anyways, into the house.

"So help me God, Sam Uley, this better be good." I warned before closing the ajar door.

He leaned against the end of the couch, crossing his arms over his covered chest. Usually a shirt was extra attire,- for the guys at least, due to our heightened body temperature. I couldn't help but admit every time I saw Sam shirtless, my heart accelerated slightly but tightened with a clenching force. All I could recall was how my head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck that one night up in the loft. How his hands large, powerful hands were soft and gentle when they caressed my skin. And how I fell peacefully asleep at the nights end, my head resting on his bare chest as his arms wrapped around my waist. Sometimes, he still tantalized me.

But that was the old Sam Uley- I hadn't seen that one in a very long time. This new, more grown-up version of himself was stronger, mentally and physically, and harder to get through to. It was like he only cared about Emily, and getting the job done. He had hardened under the pressure of phasing, not allowing anyone to see past his business side unless your name was Emily Young, who got to hold him and kiss him and feel him as much as she liked. She got to see his warm, compassionate, teasing side; the side I missed. The only side he used to have unless angry.

I took a deep breath in as my mind reminisced and then, recalling previous events; the baby that he had helped make, growing in Emily's stomach as we stood there, I felt a stabbing pain enter my stomach and contempt suddenly oppressed me.

Sam stood there, observing me for a long moment, as if trying to get some impression how I was, and then, he finally broke the silence that once would have been comfortable between us. "We have to patrol tonight." He said flatly.

"Alright? Is that all you wanted? You could have calle-"

"No," he interrupted, taking a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about the baby."

His words were rushed; like if he slowed down at all, he wouldn't be able to get them out.

My mouth grew dry, "Oh?"

His voice was soft; caring when he spoke next, "I'm sorry, Lee-,"

A laugh escaped my lips. "Sorry?" I nodded, "Yeah, whatever. You're not sorry, Sam, you're having a baby; a family. A family you've wanted for a long time. You were trying to get pregnant, therefore, if it's a choice, you cannot be sorry for it." My voice was practical; knowing.

"It doesn't mean it didn't hurt you." He breathed, his eyes fixated on me as I broke the contact.

"It doesn't mean you're sorry."

"Wait-" He said, perplexity washing over his features.** "**Who told you we were trying?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and sat down in the chair parallel from the couch he was leaning on. "Jacob," I breathed. "But it's not like it's untrue. I'm not that naive. You've been with her for two years, now."

"It doesn't mean we were trying for a baby," he contradicted.

"It doesn't mean you weren't, either." I challenged, my voice tight. Something arose in my chest that I promptly swallowed. Jealousy, maybe? Jealous of my cousin; Emily, who used to know everything about me, and if I was being honest with myself, still did. Not my by consent of course, but by instinct. She knew me better than I knew myself when we were younger and that kind of bond doesn't just burn out, even if I wanted it to.

Sam sighed, a big, deep sigh. "We weren't trying, Leah," he said, and for once, his voice gave the impression that he was at ease; like talking to one of the guys. It wasn't what I would have liked his voice to sound like, but it was a step up from emotionless; empty.

I looked at him. "And that changes things how?" I questioned.

The only thing worse, though, then them trying to have a baby, was them getting pregnant without having tried. Sam and I had tried once, and it never did happen, so knowing he and Emily hadn't even_ tried_, just settled in for one of their habitual nights, made me sigh inwardly.

"It doesn't,"

"Finally, some honesty. You should really try that more oft-"

That's when he stood up and walked over, position himself in front of me, leaning down so his lips were at my ear. I felt my breath hitch in my throat. He was too close.

"You're one to talk about honesty, Leah." The kindness was gone from his voice; replaced with soul logic.

I let his words sink in, and he hovered by my ear for a short moment before pulling back, and taking long strides to the door. My eyes stayed fixated on the television screen.

"Be at the edge of the woods at nine," he said before I heard the door open, and close shut again.

* * *

The breeze swaying the trees gently was warm, so my attire consisted of a pair of capris and a t-shirt. I would only be taking it off soon, anyways. A pair of flip-flops protected my feet from invisible branches and twigs.

No part of me wanted to be anywhere within a foot of Sam Uley as I entered the greenery. The only thing compelling my feet to bring me to the edge of the forest; where Sam's words had left no room for option, even if his Alpha voice wasn't enforced, was the thrill that we could run into a leech. Trying to fight one alone, I had realized, was beyond unfathomable, so with the company of Sam, and a attack, I figured we had a good chance of success bringing down a leech together if one were to attack. The thought was invigorating and made anticipation rise in my chest as I checked the stumps of a few nearby trees. There was one - easily found in the daylight, that I had a wooden box placed under for my clothes. Unlike the boys, it was hard to tie undergarments, as well as a tank top and shorts to my ankle.

Once I found the tree, I slipped off my tank top and shorts, placing them in the box before taking off my undergarments, shutting the box and taking a deep breath in before bursting into my wolf body. I shook out my tangled fur, and some of it fell into my face. I cursed inwardly, knowing mom would need to give me a haircut again soon.

That's when I felt Sam phase into his form, too.

_Leah?_

_Over here_, I thought as I ran into the clearing, stopping as I came face to face with him. I receded and sat on my haunches, the wind blowing my hair back weakly.

_We're patrolling mainly around the boundary line today. Embry and Jacob will relieve us at 7. _

I nodded, unenthusiastically and stood on all fours once more, ready to head to work to occupy my thoughts. _K. _

I took a few steps to the right, ready to start out in a brisk jog when I realized Sam was still where I'd left him, motionless. I turned my head to catch his eye, and he hesitated before meeting my gaze. _You okay?_

I raised a big, furry eyebrow. _Is there a reason I wouldn't be? _I knew what he was referring to, of course, but what was the point in voicing my feelings when he knew how I felt already, and hours still stretched out before us to be of company to one another.

Sam gave a curt nod before following me back into the greenery. I was glad he didn't push the issue and promptly focused on the way the wind felt going between the strands of fur and pushing them back out of my peripheral vision.

_So,_ _what's new with you, lately? _Sam's thoughts were directed toward me and I looked over at him curiously as our strides fell in time.

_Really? Small talk? _I thought, looking back to the path before me.

_Well I figure this would be a lot more... bearable if we could at least pretend to be friends. _He said, an edge of hopelessness.

_Friends? I don't think we ever really were friends, Sam. So why start now? _ The words carried my natural bitterness.

_We weren't friends? Oh, so we were just /bed buddies/,__huh, Leah? _His words were harsh, but that wasn't what made me cringe.

Bed buddies.

A shiver coursed through my spine. _Bed buddies? Well, if that's how you want to phrase it, I suppose so. _Letting him know how much that term bothered me was irrelevant.

_Leah!_ Even though his inner monologue; his thoughts were speaking for him, I could still hear the exasperation. _Seriously?_ _We /were/ friends. We told each other /everything./ Why can't we still be close?_

I laughed, it coming out as a snort in my wolf form. _Don't use the, 'Let's still be friends' line, Sam. Really. Not even mentioning the fact that it's a little… delayed. _

_So are we supposed to go on hating each other?_

That's when I stopped running. I sat back on my hide legs, my eyes filling with hurt. It wasn't the fact that he thought I hated him, I wanted him to think that. It was that he hated me.

He seemed to know what was going through my mind as he, too, stopped, and turned to face me. _Leah... I never meant it like that. It's just... we're so... /cold/ to each other._

It occurred to me that this was the closest thing to a _civilized_ conversation between me and Sam since the break up, but I didn't dwell on it. _You know I don't /actually/ hate you, right? I hate /this/; being this, but I don't hate you. I'm not fond of this situation, or some choices you made, but I don't hate /you/. _

Sam sighed, his nose turning down, pointing toward the ground. _I don't hate you either, Leah. I could never hate you, honestly. I never have and I never will. I never expected you to take all of this well. /I/ didn't take it well. _

I nodded and looked back off into the depth of the woods. It sure seemed like he was taking it well. _Let's get going. _

_Alright._

Then we started running again, slowly building up to the speed we had been before, and beyond. The night was long, it seemed to drag on and on and on and I was just praying for the end. The conversation after that was limited. Mostly just information of where we were heading next or when to turn and when to stop and as soon as 7am hit, right on time, Embry and Jacob entered the field on all fours.

I gave Jacob a cold look. I was still mad at him for not being able to keep our previous encounter exclusively between us. He gave me an apologetic glance before bounding off into the brush. Embry on the other hand came over and licked me with his big, sloppy tongue on the nose. Why? Because they loved to push my buttons and knew I couldn't _stand _it. I shook my head and brought my nose down to the ground, wiping it against the grass.

_You're disgusting. _I told him contentedly after getting all of his slobber off me.

Embry's lips turned up into a wolfish grin and his big shoulders slumped forward in a shrug before nudging me.

I took a step back at the slight force behind the nudge and the next thing I knew, Embry was on top of me, still in our wolf forms, play-fighting, rolling around on the cool, damp ground.

_Come on, Leah_, Embry thought, smirking as he pinned me down, his front paws pressing down on my stomach. _Just admit defeat! _

I snorted, _Riight_, and then, I flipped our bodies over and laid proudly on Embry's stomach.

_Enough! _We heard Sam's thoughts break through our rivalry.

Somehow, Embry, even in teasing form, made me feel... better. Less hopeless, and as Sam's voice broke through that, I found myself angry at him for taking it away.

_Leah, go home and get some sleep, Embry, continue with patrol. Jacob's probably all the way to Canada by now! Jeez!_

_Oh, chill, Sam. I'm going_, Embry thought as I rolled off him, back to stand on all fours. Before he turned to go find Jacob, he gave me a reassuring smile, playful wink, then bounded off.

_What was that about?_ Sam asked as we exited the clearing we had returned to, parting to phase back.

I shrugged, _You're not the only one with friends, Sam. _

**

* * *

Authors Note:  
So, it took me a while to write this chapter. The first little bit came effortlessly, but the ending took some more thought and consideration for future chapters. Either way, I hope you like it! Like I said, I may lead on to a certain character she'll end up with, but you won't know unless you keep reading..**

**And the pace I write at depends on your feedback!  
If you have any questions/comments/etc, like I said above, don't be afraid to leave it in your review or PM me! If you'd like a response, go with the PM, though!**

**- Dramaticfield**


	5. Going to be okay

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Five**

**Authors note: **

**I decided to skip a month. Emily is now 9 weeks along in her pregnancy, having found out at 5 weeks along that she was pregnant. The last 4 weeks between where I left off, and now, were the norm for La Push. Leah never quite accepted the pregnancy yet and Sam hadn't asked her to patrol at all since the last time with him. I'd also like to thank you all for your reviews! I know a lot of you guys are currently angry with Sam, and I _definitely _see where you're coming from, but try and put yourself in his shoes. I believe that if there's a bad guy, it's definitely Emily. Sam didn't really have a choice and he's still mad at the Cullen's for making him phase and leave Leah. He misses her and the bond they used to share. But that doesn't mean Leah can get past what has happened easily, if at all with him.  
**

**Leah's point of view**

It was small, but bulged, round and shattering, - mostly to my self esteem, although the emotional response, yet strong, hadn't fully taken its course. Unless you knew, you would of never suspected a baby growing inside of her. You could only notice the tiny outward bump when she had something skin tight on, like a stretchy tank top. Even then, it wasn't the first thing that caught your eye. The scars were.

She was progressing in her pregnancy, already complaining about morning sickness and a sore back. I was sure Sam held her hair back for her every morning and she allowed his hands to relieve the tension in her body with a massage at nightfall, so I wasn't feeling the least bit sympathetic to her in any way. Even when she had to give birth and go through tremendous pain, I don't think I would pity her then. Karma was a bitch, as they said.

I sat across from Sam at the bonfire. Emily wasn't feeling well, apparently, so she hadn't joined us; damn it. Embry sat to my left, Seth on my right. Jacob and Paul hadn't showed up, yet, but I wasn't complaining too much on Paul's absence. Like usual, I felt clueless as to what was going on around me, but the lack of mirth radiating from Sam told me he was worried about his sick, pregnant fiance at home.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, and then the next thing I knew, I felt Embry's arm draping over my shoulders casually. I quirked a brow and looked over at him, his face turned away from me, still speaking avidly with the rest of the guys. I did so happen to catch Sam's puzzled gaze before shrugging him off.

"Come on, Lee," Embry said, turning toward me when he felt his arm flop down behind me. "Lighten up!"

I glared at him apathetically, but didn't say anything. Embry's expression turned to one from cheerfulness to forlorn as he placed his hand back on his leg.

It occurred to me that the gesture really had been for me to feel less alone and more sociable, but the public display of kindness wasn't something I was a fanatic for.

"Fine, fine, fine," Embry muttered.

That's when Jacob came strolling down to the fire pit, scowling as his sister, Rachel, walked hand in hand with Paul. Jacob still hadn't gotten used to the whole, Paul imprinting on Rachel thing. I guess if I was him, I wouldn't be, either. That was like... Seth imprinting. I shivered at the thought.

"Hey Jake!" Seth called happily, getting up and running over to him.

I glanced back to Embry as the coolness of the wind nipped at my side now that Seth's body wasn't taking all the wind. He looked down at me, too, and our eyes met.

"Leah?" He asked quietly. "You okay?"

I nodded, "Of course, why?"

Embry chuckled, "I don't know... You just seem..." he shrugged, "In a bad mood." A smirk filled his lips then, "Not that it's really different from any other time of course," he teased. "But you know what I mean."

I rolled my eyes, nudging him. "Yeah, yeah."

Embry dropped it before getting up and going over to Jacob, teasing him about Rachel and Paul's imprint. Another couple; lovely. And once again, I was alone on the log. I got up, figuring it was best if I just left now. This was stupid; Sam was in a shitty mood - not that that really mattered to me - and everyone else was enjoying themselves; picking on each other and teasing them; I wasn't into it. I walked over to the boys approaching, Embry making a remark that made Jacob give him the worst look ever. I smiled softly, wondering what Embry had said now. "I'm gone, Seth," I muttered, nudging him so he would listen as I passed.

Seth sighed, "Of course, Lee. I'll see you home. Love you."

I rolled my eyes, a hint of a smile playing on my lips. "You too."

It only took me a few minutes to get back home in my wolf form and when I got to the larger, blue house I took my clothes from around my ankle, phasing back and slipping them on once again. I was in our backyard and I sighed as I peered into the dark woods. I found myself walking over to one of the dirt paths, entering the dark greenery.

The path that stretched out before me, fifteen minutes into the woods and farther north than the pack usually went, was one I hadn't seen for almost two years; one that could give me what I wanted. One that had memories burning on the rocks under me, my only source of light besides the stars speckling the black sky, the moon.

Why I felt the need to revisit this place was even hidden from myself, and as I neared the end of the short trail, taking a right turn, past a old, rotting log, I wondered if I should just turn around and go back home while I still felt my legs holding me up. Torturing myself with past memories; past loves, didn't exactly seem like fun, but I was conflicted on whether or not being in a memorable place with memories as opposed to somewhere without memories would really make the memories inside of my head fade away. I decided that either way, it wouldn't matter.

It was only a few nights after I had to patrol with Sam, and I hoped I could avoid doing it again in the future. My feet led me deeper into the woods and every now and then I would hear sticks breaking into the distance. It didn't scare me like it would a mere human. Besides, if it was a leech, I would of probably already of gotten attacked, therefore it was only a mindless background noise and one I was quick to ignore.

My body grew heavier as I approached my destination, the trees parting slightly to reveal a large loft-garage. It had a almond-colour wooden build and a small balcony coming off of the upstairs door to overlook the forest. It wasn't too old and I was pretty sure it acted as a residence to a young couple years before I'd found it, but now it was vacant and unkempt. There was a large sliding garage door on the front, but to the side was a door that a regular house would have. Young couples liked the loft-type housing. It was cheap and spacious. It was what Sam and I were going to look into until he got a job and made enough to make payment on a mortgage. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes grazed over the structure, my feet unwilling to move closer for a long moment. The night only made the sight more uncomfortable.

When the sight of it had finally sunk in, my eyes drinking up my secret sanctuary, I took a few steps toward it and eventually found my hand clenching the knob of the side door, twisting it open.

That's when I jumped.

"Boo!" I heard a loud, husky voice call behind me; and when I say behind me, I mean I could feel his breath on my neck.

"You are the biggest asshole ever," I said when my heart finally stopped pounding.

"Chill, Leah, it could be worse," he informed me as I spun around on my heel to face Jacob. If not for my heightened senses, I may not of been able to make him out in the darkness.

"Enlighten me."

"It could of been the big bad wolf," he mused, grinning as he took a step back.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "How'd you find me?"

"I got bored at the fire. Rachel and Paul aren't my favorite people to be around," he said. "So I followed you, figuring we could watch a movie or something, and then you came into the woods and I got curious."

It only then occurred to me that he was the one cracking branches ahead of me. He must of took the second path, "Of course you did. You're like a puppy sometimes," she half-mused.

"So," Jacob said, grinning as he moved over to lean against the door frame, my hand still on the door knob. "Why are you out here all alone? You could of asked for one of us to come." He paused, "And how did you find this place? I never knew it was here before." His eyes burned with curiosity, obviously not liking that he hadn't been in on the secret. "We usually don't come over this far on patrol," he concluded, looking around at the scenery. "Sam said it was unneeded."

I rolled my eyes at Sam's explanation to the others. Unneeded for what exactly? For his own emotional reasons, or because, well, he just didn't want to be around it?; Remember. Maybe he'd pushed the memories away so well that he didn't want them back. Or maybe he just... didn't see the need to go over this far; maybe it had nothing to do with her; their past. She sighed inwardly.

"I'd tell you, why?" I mused. "Besides, you seem too keen on letting other people in on what I tell you," I said cattily.

Jacob groaned, rolling his eyes. "Leah, I didn't know, chill, can we please forget that? They won't open their mouths, I promise."

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the door, closing my eyes, "Doesn't stop them from using it against me, now leave."

"And leave you out here all alone? Who knows what lurks in the shadows? Ooooou, scary!" His voice held clear amusement.

"Goodbye, Jacob," I said, turning the knob as the door creaked open.

Jacob sighed. "Leah," his tone was serious, so I turned to him a hand resting on my hip.

"What?"

"Let me come,"

"Why?"

"Because I... just want to. Please."

I eyed him curiously for some ulterior motive, and when I didn't find one, I rolled my eyes and stepped into the house-like figure, Jacob taking it as confirmation as followed me, shutting the door behind us.

"So, no one like... lives here, do they?" Jacob asked following close behind in the darkness as I tried to find the ladder.

"No, they used to, I think," I replied, squinting to find the small wooden structure.

"Oh. How did you find it?"

I sighed, "No more questions, Jacob, if you want to come, shut up."

Jacob groaned, but obliged, "Someone's cranky,"

I didn't play into his games and brushed him off as my eyes finally caught the sight of the leaning ladder, leading up to the top floor already. "C'mon," I instructed before grasping it and placing my foot on the first step.

"Leah, what the hell are you doing? God knows what's up there. Aren't girls supposed to be afraid of bugs? I'm sure there's plenty up there," he complained.

"You didn't have to come," I reminded him, "Besides, you seem more scared of the bugs than I am."

"Very funny," he said, clearly unamused.

My hands gripped the second floor and Jacob held the base of the ladder as I hauled my body up. "There's probably rats, too," he called.

Only moments later, as I tried to find the light, Jacob was up as well, sitting on the edge of the carefully cut square in the flooring, a railing going around it so no one fell down or rolled close to the edge in the middle of the night. There was also a closing gate that acted as a barrier once you climbed up. It usually wasn't closed unless Sam or I closed it after getting up. I frowned, the memories flooding back as my fingers found the battery powered lights that had been left up there for close to two years now. The light illuminated the window-less room, spreading a warm glow around. I was surprised that they still worked.

The air mattress was still in the middle of the room, the air drained out, a string of little white and blue lights around the ceiling. Pillows and blankets were still folded and piled nicely in the corner. The ceiling wasn't too low, but unlike me, Sam had always been too tall to be able to stand. Little accessories, like a small night table was next to the deflated air mattress, holding a spare change of clothes and other items. A small garbage can occupied the opposite corner of the one where the blankets resided and the fitted sheet was still over the mattress.

It occurred to me that Sam hadn't been up here since I had been last; which was with him. Even with the warmth the small light in my hand gave the large room, it seemed... cold; lifeless.

"What the hell?" Jacob's voice rung through the otherwise spacious room.

I tilted my head to look at him, "I used to come up here with Sam," I choked out, exhaling a deep breath. "I haven't been up here in... close to two years, I guess. It was the weekend before he phased and... disappeared for that while." I explained, my heart sinking at the memory; the worry I had been burdened with every night he didn't return. I didn't know why I was even telling him this, honestly. We'd already seen how well he did at keeping things to himself. So why _did _I trust him?

Jacob nodded, not exactly knowing what to say as the conversation turned serious. "And you come up here now, why?"

I shrugged, letting my eyes graze over the room some more. "I don't really know... I wanted to... Lately things have just been so dead. At least this makes me feel something other than angry."

Jacob frowned, "So this is better? Torturing yourself with memories?" His voice was accusing, and I rolled my eyes.

"No, but... You didn't have to come, Jake."

He sighed, "I wanted to, Leah. You're... hurting?" The way he phrased it sounded like a question, - one I didn't answer.

I raised a brow, looking over at him, "And you care why?"

Jacob sighed, "Whatever."

"Exactly," I replied, walking over and opening the night table's top drawer. There was a small alarm clock, a phone charger, brush, and a small box of condoms. I grabbed the box of out-dated condoms and tossed them into the garbage can next to the night stand, the brush quickly following suit.

"So this was where you came to get it on," Jacob mused, slight uncertainty in his voice.

I flinched.

"Leah I didn't mean it like-"

"Forget it," I promptly said. "Remind me again why you're here?" I asked, my hands on my hips. "I'd rather be alone."

Jacob sighed. "Fine, I'm going," he stated, clearly aggravated. And with that, he went back down the ladder only moments ago we'd climbed up. It was odd to be surprised as he disappeared down the ladder. I didn't exactly think he would leave, but well... This was what I wanted. To be left alone in the solace of my thoughts. I sat on the flat air mattress a few, long moments after Jacob left.

Sam and I had our first time in this very spot. He had planned everything after I told him I was ready. One night, unexpectedly, he'd brought me here and had everything set up. He told me if I wanted to wait, he would take me home after we entered downstairs, giving the surprise away. I had tensed, clearly nervous. I'd assured him I was ready though, and I had been. I never regretted giving Sam my virginity. I still didn't. It had been... everything I once dreamed of. We had only been up there intimately twice, although we had made love more than that; five times, exactly. I had been slightly nervous since I was inexperienced, that night almost two years back. Though Sam had been a virgin, too and as I reminded myself of that way back then, it had calmed my nerves and everything had been like a real movie. It didn't hurt very much; maybe because we had been older; seventeen. And he was gentle. So, so careful and gentle.

I cursed as my eyes welled up, trained on the deflated mattress. I took a deep breath in, pinching my nose and shaking my head. Alright, enough of this, I thought in spite of myself as I turned, deciding sleep needed to overtake my heavy limbs and clear my head. I sat down on the edge of the opening, my feet resting on one of the top rungs on the ladder. I looked around the room once more, my eyes drinking in the sight before me before I shook my head rid of all memories, feeling numb as I blinked away wetness accumulating in the corner of my eyes before descending down the ladder.

"Leah?" I heard Jacob's voice ask from the doorway. He had the door opened slightly a cool breeze blowing through the garage apartment.

I reached up and hastily wiped away the wetness streaking my cheeks. "I thought you were leaving," I stated before walking over closer to the doorway where the moon and stars wafted light onto the exposed part of the flooring. I pushed past him gently, out into the cool night.

I heard the door shut behind me, and I heard Jacob follow behind me as I walked slowly out of the clearing, back into the woods. Then, Jacob reached out, grasping my swinging hand and squeezing it gently, his fingers intertwining with mine. "It's going to be okay."

**Authors note:**

**I know it's be forever since I updated. O.o  
My laptop was broken for quite a while and I had to write on my dads laptop, half of this chapter being stuck on my laptop which was in repair, and I didn't want to rewrite it because I liked what I had written previous.**

**Therefore, this chapter has been severely delayed and I promise that it won't take months upon months next time to get the next one out. Enough rambling!**

**I'm going to post another poll, though, on my profile for you to all vote again on who you desire Leah to end up with. I want to get a better, general idea of who you want. I think I know already who I'm leaning toward, and I hope that you will all consider the reasons behind who I pick who I do. It may not be your favorite choice, but try and see where I'm coming from when the time comes. I'm saying this in advance because I know I won't please everyone. That would be impossible, especially due to the varied opinions I've gotten from the previous poll. Buttttttt, if you have any opinions or why or why not she should be with a certain character, add that in your review, and if you would like a reply, PM me! Any questions/comments/ideas would also be appreciated!**

**So remember, review!**

**- Dramaticfield  
**


	6. Exhausted

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Six**

**Jacob's point of view**

"You slept with Leah!" Paul asked, clearly taken aback; shocked.

"No!" I cried, grinding my teeth as they continued to badger me and get on my nerves. "No I didn't _sleep _with Leah! I _slept_ at her _house_. It was late, and she was out and I brought her home."

"Oh, so you just like her?" Jared butted in, equally as stunned.

"Who said anything about me liking her!" I cried, stepping forward.

Embry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Geez, _chill_. Let him explain."

I gave Embry a grateful nod before sighing myself. "I went over to see Seth last night; ask him if he was coming cliff diving with us later this week. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to go home. When I got there, I saw Leah leaving and I followed her. She wasn't... herself. I just walked home with her and when we got back to her house, she told me to come inside and stay there. It was like, two in the morning and if I had of woken Billy up I would've been in shit," I explained. "I stayed on the couch in her room. No big deal, alright?"

"In her roooooom?" Quil cooed, smirking. He was the only one that was beyond amused; neutral.

"Shut up," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Nothing happened, obviously."

Jared smirked, now. "Of course not. She still pants after Sam - No pun intended. She wouldn't let you in if you tried, Jacob." I just nodded and then, Jared's confusion grew. "You don't... like her do you?" Of course, he was merely teasing when he asked moments ago; but now... I could see it in his face. He thought it was true. He thought there was a real possibility that I did, which is why his tone was so serious. Everyone's eyes fell on me.

"No!" I cried, exasperated. "She's upset. Yeah, she's bitter and yeah she brings all of our ragging on herself because of that, but she didn't chose to be this way," I said, shaking my head, my hands clenched into fists. "She needed someone. I know it's hard to believe but she did and I wasn't going to just leave h-"

"Who are you talking about?"

It took me a second to register the voice; Sam. The guys all looked up, as surprised as I was no doubt.

"Since when did you become a ninja?" Quil asked Sam, smirking, trying to lighten the mood.

"Who are you talking about?" Sam restated, no amusement coming over his features. His alpha voice was used and although he hated using it; forcing us to tell him, he also knew very well who this was about. He just needed it affirmed.

"Leah," Paul said gently, looking at me warily.

"Jacob was with her last night," Jared added.

"Thanks guys," I said grimly.

Jared and Paul looked to me sympathetically. They had no choice, I knew, but still.

"What were you doing with Leah?" Sam asked, dropping his alpha tone. Apparently I was now trusted to tell him the truth on my own free will.

I sighed, "She was out late and I walked her home, that's all."

"And you stayed there with her?" Sam questioned.

"Well... Yeah, I mean..."

"Enough. I don't want to hear it." Sam said, shaking his head. He paused and I could see the confliction in his eyes. I knew before he spoke up what he was going to ask and I knew that a part of him didn't want to know the answer. That was, if it was the answer he didn't want. "Did you have sex with her?" He finally asked, his lips in a straight line across his face. He was trying to hide his disapproval; be neutral, but God knew everyone could see the emotions playing on his face; the hurt.

"No," I paused, considering my next words before they were spoke aloud; unable to be taken back. "No and even if I had, it wouldn't have any affect on you." That wasn't entirely true, no. Well, it would upset Sam knowing Leah was with anyone. He wanted her happy, yes, but the idea of her being... intimate with other people drove Sam nuts. He still loved her. A large portion of him always would. But Emily would always override those feelings. On the other hand, it really _wasn't_ any of his business. He hurt Leah long ago and whether he meant to or not, he had and she deserved to be happy no matter what that entitled. Not that he didn't want her happy, it was just hard. Leah had similar feelings toward him, I knew.

Sam raised a brow. "She's my ex-girlfriend, Jacob."

"Yeah, and you're also the reason I was there in the first place, Sam. You're the reason I stayed with her because you're the reason she is how she is." My words were out of line, yes but it was true and I was sick of everything. I hated people - Yes, including Leah - badgering me about Bella when things fell through, but I hadn't actually taken Leah's bitterness not being by choice into account. Everyone dealt with pain differently, and this was her way of coping whether she chose it or not. Mine had been trying to run from it, but she had accepted it; long ago, actually. I hadn't realized that until now. She was used to feeling unwanted and unneeded by Sam. It killed her, and she had to hide that behind something considering she, unlike I at one point, couldn't run.

Sam was clearly taken back at my words. "I know I hurt her.." He said, his tone, saddened. "But I didn't want this to happen." A frown overtook his lips, turning them downward. Talking to Sam about Leah in any way, shape or form, especially bringing up everything that happened between them at one point in time was unspeakable; Just like bringing up Emily's scars - staring at them. However, Leah had them to, did she not? Hers just weren't visible. In many ways, all of us were scarred in one way or another.

I sighed, "I know that."

"But whether you wanted to or not, you did," Embry finished.

**Leah's point of view**

"Why did he stay over last night?" Mom asked, leaning against the counter as I sat to the island in the kitchen, twirling my spoon around in a bowl of cereal.

"He walked me home after the fire," I lied. "It was late and he didn't want to wake Billy up so I told him he could stay here. That's all."

"Leah," she said gently, shaking her head. "I don't know what to say anymore.. I mean, I know you're hurting over Sam, and I know you lost Emily, too, but baby girl..." she said softly, walking over to lean on the opposite side of the island I was on. "You've been like this for too long; uncharacteristically long. Maybe we should see a doctor... They could give you pills - Depression pills."

What? "What!" I asked, the spoon clanking against the ceramic bowl as I dropped it. "I'm not crazy, mom. I'm fine."

"Lee," she said more sternly. "You're not fine. You haven't been fine since the day Sam imprinted on Emily. I thought it would get better, I thought you'd go back to the happy girl I knew, but it hasn't happened and it's been almost two years. Maybe I should of brought this up before now, I realize that. I just can't see you hurting anymore. You're not yourself and I don't know how to get you back. I can't do anything else for you."

I shook my head, frowning. I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Honey," she walked over, pulling me close to her. "They'll make you feel better."

"No," I stated, pulling back. "Mom," I bit down on my bottom lip. "Jacob makes me feel better." My words dripped with sincerity and they made me... sick to think about depending on someone else. But it was true; he did make me feel better.

"Better?" My mom questioned.

"Happy."

Mom drew in a long breath, nodding. "I just want you back to normal, Leah. The little girl I knew. You've been so upset since the break-up and trust me, I resent Sam for it. For making you like this, but you need your life back."

"Sam didn't do this," I interjected. "Emily did. This is all her fault, not his."

"Leah.."

"No. If she had never came, Sam would of never left me in the first place," I stated surely.

"Baby... You can't blame all of this on Emily."

"It's her fault!" I exclaimed, turning to meet her eyes. "If she had never came, Sam would of never imprinted and right now, I'd probably be the pregnant one! You know, if she never came, Dad would be alive, too! All this is her fault. How can you not see this?"

Mom cringed, and sighed. "I do see it, Leah," her words were filled with... hostility. But not toward me. "But Sam chose this."

"How? He was forced into this. He _chose _me." I insisted.

"Because even Jacob told me this after he phased, Leah, when you imprint, you'll become whatever that person needs you to be. Whether that's a lover, and protector, or a friend. Sam chose to take the easy way out. Yes, this is Emily's fault, too, but she tried to push him away. However, he could of stayed with you, Lee. He chose the easy way - To be with Emily. He could of stayed with you and been there for Emily as a friend or a protector. But he didn't. _Sam _didn't."

The words were like an ice bath being poured into the tub I was sitting in. The reality of it was just that. Sam could of still been with me. But he chose not to be. What did Emily have that I didn't? Scars? Fertility? A house? What? "I have to go," I said quickly, the pain registering on my face as I turned, jumping off of the stool I sat on momentarily. I shoved on my flip-flops and moments later, exiting the house as the door shut loudly behind me.

I knew exactly who I needed to talk to.

Coming up the few steps to the door, I took a deep breath in. I hated this place. I hated everything about it; what it entitled. That night before I joined Jacob's pack - seemingly a life time ago, now - the hurt so obviously displayed on my face as Sam opened the door, Emily calling out to him to come back to bed. How it was so obvious from Sam's clammy skin and the moans coming only moments previous as we all stood outside, oblivious to everything. Not knowing what to do and needing our Alpha. That was my last straw. I couldn't stick around to watch anymore and when Jacob gave me my out, I knew it wouldn't be easy or fun, but it had to be a lot fucking better than I what I was enduring while answering to Sam.

I knocked on the door with a heavy hand, balled into a tight fist. "Emily!" I called impatiently. "Emily let me in."

Moments later, a showing Emily opened the burgundy door to her and Sam's home. Seeing her never seized to make my heart sink; hurt. "Leah-"

"I need to talk to you."

"I was going to call you later, about wedding things, but I don't think that's what you need to talk to me about," she stated, moving aside as I entered the all too familiar home, the scent of baking cookies surrounding me.

"Not exactly," I said, leaning against the counter. "I want to know what happened."

"What happened?" Emily questioned.

"When you finally decided to be with Sam. Why did you stop pushing him away?"

Emily frowned, grabbing the chair for extra support. "You know I _tried_ to push him away and I didn't understand the imprint before-"

"I know, just... why."

"I realized you were going to hate me whether or not I was with Sam. Him wanting me was too much for you and if I was with him or not, it would hurt you. We would of never been the same either way, Leah."

"So instead of refraining and trying to work it out, you jumped at the opportunity to claim _my _life." It wasn't a question. "Because that's exactly what you're doing. You're living the life I was going to have. The one that was supposed to be mine." It was merely a statement; realization. "They all hate me because I'm not carefree and blind to everything they are. They used to like me, you know. So did Sam."

"And Sam still does, Leah," Emily said shaking her head. "How can you not see that? He might be with me, but the hurt on his face every time you leave or every time you turn away from him, _I _see that. Not you."

"Why are you trying to tell me your fiancée cares about me?" I asked, confused. "Why the fuck are you so nice?"

Emily let a laugh escape her lips, however, it lacked the usual mirth and warm persona. "Leah, I love you. I always will. So will Sam. It kills me that you're hurting. I try to make it work with you... But it will never work. Things will never be the same. I've accepted that. No matter what, you'll never forgive me or Sam and it kills me still. Some nights I still end up crying over what could of been. What you could of had. I didn't chose this just as much as Sam didn't. It chose us and as to why, I still don't know because it took my best friend and half my family away. Sue can't even look at me anymore and whenever you do, it's... cold; lifeless. I'd rather you look at me with hatred then emptiness."

"This is why they like you more, you know," I stated dully. "Even though you should hate me, you don't. Kindness kills you." And that wasn't necessarily a _horrible_ thing. "Honestly, I don't know if it would be easier or harder if you hated me. Maybe if they made a holster for kindness, I could wield it more quickly." The last part was sarcastic; half-joking.

Emily smiled softly and nodded, but quickly frowned once again. "I don't hate you. I couldn't hate you even if I tried and honestly, it's crossed my mind how if I did, I'd feel less guilty."

"I don't know which of you I blame more.. Or if I even do really blame either of you. Maybe all of this is my fault; not being his imprint. But.. I don't know who else to blame. I blamed myself for so long, and you for longer. I've blamed Sam, too, although I wouldn't admit it at first. And although you're right, things will never be the same, or even close, maybe it's none of our direct faults."

"Hearing you say that.." Emily said, shaking her head.

"But it doesn't mean we'll ever be friends again," I added. "I can't trust you anymore."

Emily frowned. "I wish things were different."

"I know and if Sam had of cared enough about me in the first place, we'd still be together. Imprinting doesn't necessarily mean you have to be with that person romantically. But that was his choice. So really, I can't blame you for what he chose. I realize that, but it still doesn't make the hurt stop."

She nodded and sighed.

"Leah?" Sam's voice echoed in the small room as Emily looked up, behind me. Sam had come in the back door.

"I'll talk to you later, Emily," I said hurriedly. I didn't want to face him; it hurt more to look at him than it did Emily and I felt dampness threatening to take over my eyes at his voice. My mom's words were all too real. Sam chose Emily over me without being forced to.

"Leah," Emily said, frowning as she looked to Sam, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"Call me later about whatever you needed to talk about. Or just tell Sue and she'll tell me if I'm out," I stated, shaking her words off as I left.

I wasn't intending on going home and as my feet took me from Emily's, coming into view of the beach, I saw Jacob and the other guys. I walked down to the logs they were all accumulated on. I came up behind Jacob, catching Paul's head nod to him as I approached.

"Leah," Jacob said, turning to face me. I ignored the guys immediate chatter.

"I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"Alone," I stated dryly. It was amazing how that word alone brought silence over the rest of them.

Jacob raised a brow, but nodded as he stood up and followed me from the beach. We walked a few minutes down the road, away from the wet, sandy beach and then, once out of sight of both Emily's house, and the guys, I led Jacob slightly into the brush of the road lining forest - So that we wouldn't be seen by anyone - and I turned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Thank you for staying last night," I choked out before my voice cracked.

"You're welcome, but... What's going on?" He asked, pulling back to look at me his arms having immediately wrapped securely around my waist, his hands, resting on the small of my back as he raised a confused brow.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Leah."

"Jacob."

"What's wrong?"

And I told him; everything that had happened that morning. I told him about my talk with my mom, and Emily and everything I felt through the duration.

Jacob leaned down when I finished, my voice finally cracking. His warm, gentle lips brushing against mine. Oddly, I wasn't surprised. I was already so mentally exhausted that it was just... nice.

Like the night before.

**Authors Note:**

**So, I wrote this chapter twice, but I wasn't happy with the first version. I am much more pleased personally with this - the second version - and surprisingly finished it in two days. I know I'm going to get lots of opinions on Leah/Emily's conversation, however, I'm pleased with the way it turned out and I'm trying to open everyone's eyes more on their true relationship. **

**Also, stay tuned for Jacob's response. Right now, if you have any ideas, or couple pairings after every chapter - since sometimes a pairing may grow on you - don't be afraid to add them in your review! I think I've finally figured out where this is going. ;)**

**Anyways, review or PM me and the next chapter shall be written quicker! **

**If you have any questions, PM me and I'll get back to you, promise. **

**~Dramaticfield**

**- Becca **


	7. Going away

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Seven**

**Jacob's point of view**

"Let's go talk to your mom," I breathed as I pulled back.

The night before... Well, I had lied to the guys. Why? The truth was... dangerous. Nothing had happened; well, depending on your depiction of nothing. There had been a lot of... kissing. It was like the both of us had been drunk on loneliness. Like our kisses; full of needing and desire for life. Which is why I didn't hesitate to kiss her again; calm her down. Whatever _this _was; friends with temporary.. livening benefits, or just a two-time deal, it was nice to just forget about some things for a while; the shit weighing us down for so long.

Of course, Bella had left me, too, in a rut. Her choosing Edward; her choosing the vampires - our enemies over me. But at least Edward and I were _supposed _to hate each other. Leah and Emily... They were family. They weren't supposed to hate each other and hurt each other. Bella. My heart sank a little - not because I still loved her, I was used to her and Edward being together - But because I remembered the pain I went through months back when she picked him over me. It was much the same as Sam picking Emily over Leah. Bella had loved Edward and I both, and Sam loved Emily and Leah. But Emily was the more dominant love; just as Edward had been for Bella.

Leah shook her head. "I don't want to go home - Emily's calling me later with wedding details." With an infamous eye roll, she stepped back, out of my grasp.

"Let's go away," I blurted speculatively.

"Go away?" She asked, raising a brow. She looked as though I just told her two plus two equaled eight.

A soft chuckle escaped my lips. "Like.. go somewhere; anywhere. Go home and get an overnight bag. Our cabin's up in the park, we can go up there for tonight. Get away from all of this for a while."

I saw it in her eyes; the idea was too inviting to pass up.

**Leah's point of view**

It didn't take long to get back to my house and once there, Jacob went to his own to get his rabbit and an overnight bag for himself.

"Mom?" I called out after kicking off my shoes.

"In here Leah," she called from the kitchen.

"Mom, I'm going to stay at Jake's tonight with-" But I cut off, Billy Black standing alongside my mom in the kitchen as I entered. The both of them looked to be in their glee; happy as clams. Lovely.

"Staying at Jake's?" She questioned, her smile only growing.

"He didn't tell me anything about this," Billy countered, however, his tone was far from disapproving.

"Uh, well, I was going to have a girls night with-"

"She's with Paul," Billy said, clearly amused.

I sighed. "We were going up to the cabin," I admitted.

My mom nodded, eying me carefully. "What's really going on between you and Jacob?" She asked curiously, her and Billy's eyes intent on me, waiting for an answer.

"Honestly? Nothing. We're just hanging out. I'm allowed to have friends, you know."

My mom's smile broadened. I knew she was glad to hear that Jacob and I were friends... That we were interacting at all.

Billy seemed content as well. Then again, he probably thought his son was running through the bases. "The cabin's locked, so he'll need the key."

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "I'll let him know."

"Leah," My mom said gently. "You and Jacob aren't.. romantically-"

"No," I said automatically.

My mom laughed softly; slightly... nervously. "I just don't want to be kept in the dark," she said seriously. I knew she hadn't been happy being kept in the dark about me and Sam's... activities until after the break-up. She hadn't been happy about them in general, but how was she supposed to tell her heartbroken daughter that she was grounded because she had sex with her boyfriend who had dumped her, making the break-up all the more painful? She couldn't and she didn't and her empathy was still something that took me by surprise.

I nodded, "You have nothing to worry about, either of you."

They both nodded and I backed out of the room before going upstairs and grabbing a small duffel bag and throwing a pair of pajama shorts, a couple tank tops, a pair of new shorts and other various things along with the necessities. I slung it over my shoulder, grabbing my wallet and shoving it in the bag as well before grabbing a sweater hanging by the door and leaving my room, slinging the sweater over my arm. I went downstairs and saw Jacob nervously talking with Billy and I grinned slightly. To be honest, all of this... even if we were found out; it was a rush. We were going away for a night; yes, _one _night, but still... I got to finally leave. Some part of me was scared that if I did leave for any time, though, that I wouldn't have the strength to return; the will.

I wanted Sam to be happy; I loved him enough to want that. I just didn't want to stick around to watch. It was something I'd always been sure of. I would never wish any harm on him. I loved him, against all odds and understanding. But staying here; hearing his thoughts on Emily; the baby... It was all too much. Something I was quick to accept an escape from.

"You guys aren't doing anything, right?" Billy asked, his tone as serious as my moms was moments ago, when she was asking me the same thing.

"Dad, no." Jacob said, seeing me come downstairs.

Billy turned, seeing Jacob's attention direct away from him and then nodded. "Be careful," he warned before exiting the house.

"You ready?" He asked, reaching out as I hit the bottom and taking my bag.

"Am I ever," I exhaled.

Jacob chuckled and we left the house, climbing into Jacob's rabbit and starting our apart two hour journey to the cabin. Two hours away from La Push; Two hours away from Sam and Emily and all thoughts of their baby growing in Emily's stomach. Two hours to sanity.

**Jacob's point of view.**

Finally, after two hours of driving, having stopped for gas once and to get some snacks to tie us over, we had reached the cabin. It was just passed Port Angeles, into Sequim. Billy had it for as long as I could remember, though we hadn't visited much since Billy got into his accident. I put the car in park outside of the brush-covered log cabin and took the keys out of the ignition. The sun had set about fifteen minutes ago.

"We can have a fire if you want," I offered.

Leah yawned, stretching as we both undid our belts. "A fire sounds good."

I was pretty sure I could of asked her to pick at carcass and she would of been content as long as Sam, or La Push wasn't involved. The thought brought a grin to my lips. "I'm sure it does," I mused.

"Hm?" She asked, opening the door and letting a cool breeze waft through the car.

"Never mind," I said as I got out and took the two duffel bags, along with the cooler bag. Leah grabbed a couple bags of groceries I took from the house and the pillows and blankets we'd taken. I wasn't exactly sure what was in the cabin so I wanted to make sure we wouldn't be sleeping on a sheet-less bed. Then, a thought occurred to me. "You can have the room with the double bed and I'll take the single." There were three rooms; one that Billy and mom used to sleep in, one for the girls, and mine.

I opened the door, turning the light on to light everything up as we both stepped in, Leah closing and locking the door behind us. She placed the groceries on the counter to our left and then, the pillows and blankets on the futon. I laid our bags beside the blankets and the cooler on the table before Leah came over to me, surprisingly, wrapping her arms around my waist. "You'll sleep in the double bed with me," she breathed gently.

I raised a brow. "Thought last night was a one-time deal?"

"Well I couldn't have you sleeping on the couch last night. It's uncomfortable. Besides, it was only kissing Jacob," she struggled to admit it, and I chuckled.

"I know, but you sure?" She was high on adrenaline; freedom and the night before she had been drunk on pain. Both things changed the way a person thought and their perception of what they truly wanted. I guess it was a good thing, though, that she hadn't decided to exile me to another continent for the night before, yet.

She nodded, her eyes meeting mine as her chest rose and fell. "I'm sure."

"You okay?"

She hesitated, keeping her eyes trained on mine. "I will be."

And for some reason, somehow, I knew she meant it. I nodded, kissing her hair. "Want me to light the fire?" She nodded and then, I went out back, the small cabin surprisingly still fresh and stocked with mostly everything we'd need. I went out to the car, taking some wood out of the back and then threw it in the fire pit as Leah made up the bed. I was just putting the dry wood into the small fire pit, logs surrounding it when the light I had from the back porch went out - the whole house dimmed, the lights blinking and then cutting out completely.

"Jacob?" Leah's shaky voice came from inside the house.

I chuckled softly before walking around the fire pit and entering the back door. Everything was black and I almost bumped into Leah as she made her way to the back door. I wrapped my arms around her small frame. "Still want me to light the fire?" I asked, resting my chin on the top of her head as she sighed softly.

"No,"

"Want to lay down?"

She nodded and I took her hand, guiding her into the master bedroom of the cabin. Once in there, I led her over to the bed. She climbed onto the bed and I draped the comforter over it, Leah having done the rest. I climbed up as well, taking her small frame into my arms as I brought the comforter up, around us. "Scared?" I teased lightly.

Leah laughed and more than likely rolled her eyes. "No, you?"

"Only if I wasn't with you," I stated half-teasingly.

Leah was warm; she smelled nice, her small fingers fit in between mine perfectly and her tiny frame but perfect curves felt nice in my arms. Maybe the way she was so hurt was like a challenge for me. I was progressively accepting Bella being with Edward. Actually, I was pretty much over it. I just had to get used to the idea. However, Leah was still hurting and if I could make her feel any better, I had to try. Especially with the wedding hastily approaching. I wanted to be her rock; her best friend. Even if that was it, considering I wasn't even sure if I wanted to have romantic feelings for anyone, let alone Leah, let alone if I already had them against my liking. It was just nice to kiss her; hold her and know that she let her guard down around me momentarily; she trusted me. She needed that and maybe I did, too. Some... female company.

Then, Leah stirred in my arms and she leaned up, our faces only inches apart as the night before came rolling back, our lips, gently grazing the others. I couldn't fight the urge I felt as I kissed her back; slowly, carefully. My arms tightened around her small frame, but then, she pulled back.

"Jake?" she asked softly, the moonlight just allowing me to make out her face in the dark.

"Yeah?"

"Before, you said about just falling in love normally... Do you really believe we can do that?"

The words made me slightly uncomfortable; why she had brought them up. "Uh, yeah, I do. Why?"

Leah shrugged. "Just wondering. Sam was in love with me, and that didn't matter when he imprinted."

I nodded, getting more of a sense of where she was coming from.

"The wedding's soon," she dropped my gaze. "Emily was supposed to call me about arrangements."

I shook my head, frowning. "Quite honestly, I don't know why they keep this up. It's like they're pushing your buttons more and more every day to see what rise they get out of you," I blurted angrily. It was true, though. They kept pushing her and one day, a part of me was afraid that they wouldn't have anything left to push.

She laughed softly, though bitterness made it's way into her voice. "They're full of remorse," she stated sarcastically.

I pulled her closely, rubbing her back gently, my hands resting on the small of her back. "He's sorry, Leah."

"How many more people are going to tell me that?" She asked, her voice full of stress.

"A lot," I paused. "Until you believe it."

She shook her head. "It's kind of hard to believe it when he's marrying Emily in, what, two weeks?"

I sighed, but nodded. Sam was like Bella with Edward. He loved Leah, but he didn't love her enough to chose her over Emily. They were both at fault, but seeing Leah have such hostility... Maybe if she just got rid of that, she could accept it more easily. No, she didn't have to forgive them and kiss their feet, begging t o be forgiven - that was a stretch - She just had to stop blaming what happened on someone; something. It happened and she understood that, however now it was time to let it go. She deserved to be happy.

I wanted the best for her and all the feelings going through me.. Especially the intimacy of having to endure one another in the same pack all those months back while protecting Bella... "Have you started those Yoga classes yet?"

She shook her head. "I was going to, but then the baby came along. How am I supposed to try and be calm when every second of the day lately, I've just wanted to phase?"

"And leave?"

She hesitated, "Maybe. I hadn't gotten that far."

I knew what that was like. "What stops you?"

She looked up at me. "You."

"Me?" I asked immediately, shocked.

She nodded, not dropping her eyes from mine. "Just.. I don't want to be alone. You said you were going to stay broken off from Sam's pack. That the Alpha gene was too powerful to turn off once you'd turned it on and then, you didn't. I had no one to go with, Jacob. I couldn't go myself, you know how well that _doesn't _work."

I merely nodded and sighed. "I was going to leave, but I just... couldn't leave Bella. Even after the kid and having her turned.. I don't know."

"There's always that pull."

"Exactly."

Things were quiet for a moment and then, Leah leaned up, placing her lips to mine and only moments later, she straddled me, both of our lips searching for something neither of us could seem to find before now; understanding. But it ended there, of course; the kissing. I took her into my arms and that's how we fell asleep; completely clothed and decent, with no wander hands moments before. However there was still a satisfactory edge to it. I was happy; light.

**Leah's point of view**

The morning came too quickly. At least when I was asleep, I didn't have to deal with anything but myself. Jacob's cell phone rung loudly, though, breaking me out of my slumber at a mere 9:04am. Who the hell was calling at this hour? Billy knew where we were. The sky was light and it streamed through the window even if the sun hid away.

Jacob's arms were loosely strung around my body, and I reached over him, grabbing his phone, looking at the caller ID: Emily's.

"Jake?" I said, nudging him gently. "Jacob?"

He groaned and turned before sighing, his eyes fluttering open. "Yeah?"

"Phone," I said hastily, passing it to him.

Jacob's brow furrowed and he hit talk, "Hello?" Sleepiness filled his tone and he rubbed his eyes.

He sat up and I stayed under the blankets.

"Yeah, she's here-" He paused. "No, we went to get aw-" Jacob rolled his eyes as he seemed to keep getting cut off. "Sam, chill out. We'll be home later today. Nothing happened, _chill_."

I sighed. That depended on your depiction of nothing. Why did he keep checking up on her? Sam had to leave her alone.

"Yeah, we'll be home later, see you then," Jacob said, hitting 'end'.

I looked up to him, sighing. "Sam?"

"Mhm. He kind of... freaked when he realized we were gone."

I smirked, "Gone? Like... he thought we had run off to separate to our own pack?"

Jacob chuckled. "Probably. He's just.. protective of you. He asked me if we had sex."

I almost did a double-take. "What?"

Sex... I couldn't have sex with anyone. Why? Because it brought back memories. Sam was the only one who had ever gotten me naked; got to show me how much he once loved me. Having sex with someone else... It was like washing all of that away. My heart hurt and my chest tightened, slightly, but I kept that inside. Sam.

Jacob let a loud belly-laugh escape. "Exactly my thoughts. Don't worry, I set him straight," he said, winking.

I rolled my eyes, laughing somewhat hesitantly. "He's really... something," I murmured, shaking my head.

Jacob chuckled, "Want to go home? Emily needs you, by the way." The way Jacob said it... somewhat, annoyed brought a smile to my lips as I remembered his words from the night before.

_'Quite honestly, I don't know why they keep this up. It's like they're pushing your buttons more and more every day to see what rise they get out of you.'_

Jacob cared and that was more than I could of asked for.

**Author's Note:**

**The chapters just keep flowing out! I had this one almost written before I posted the last one because for about a week, it wouldn't let me post. Anyways, if you guys review, the next chapter will follow shortly! (:**

**Don't worry, there's going to be more drama. This one was a little more... sentimental, I suppose you could say. But there's a dress rehearsal for the wedding approaching and dress fittings, so, stay tuned. ;)**

**- Dramaticfield **


	8. Claim

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Eight**

**Authors Note: T**his chapter gets a little hot and heavy. There's no lemon or sex in general, but if you don't like the heat of the moment detail, I suggest you skim through that part. Oh! And, I know Claire's mom isn't mentioned by name in the series, but I'm going to call her Grace.

**Leah's point of view**

Thanks to Sam's phone call, Jacob and I were both wide awake. We had also decided, no matter what Emily needed, it could wait until the dress fitting the next day and we were going to stay another day at the cottage for both of our sanity, away from everyone.

I called mom, as the rare sun broke through the cabins windows. The phone call was short and sweet. I told her that I was staying another night in the cabin with Jacob and that we'd be home soon enough. Neither of us were ready to go home, we had decided after waking up beside one another, so we were going to stick out another night.

I wasn't sure if I was ever going to want to go home after being here for any amount of time. It was so cozy; homey, almost. The wooden structure, soft, comfy beds, and warmness of it all was so serene and comforting as opposed to the thought of returning to La Push. I took a breath in before going back into the bedroom, where Jacob still laid in bed, stretching. I rolled my eyes, putting my phone on the bedside table before crawling back up onto the large bed. Jacob's arms automatically engulfed me.

"Sue cool with me keeping you here a little longer?"

I let a soft laugh escape my lips. "As long as you bring me back eventually, she's okay. Though, I wouldn't mind staying here forever."

Jacob chuckled, "You can't stay here forever, though."

"Stop ruining it," I chastised him, slightly playfully.

"Only the truth," he mused slightly, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Whatever. Do I have to shut you up?"

Jacob's smirk didn't falter. "Depends what that entails. If it's anything like last night, then go for it."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned down, unable to resist the warmth and comfort; solace of his lips on mine. He pulled me closer to his frame and no matter what this made our relationship out to be, right then, I could tell neither of us cared. We were too... content. I had Jacob's sweater on, over my tank top, and it only heightened the smell of his somewhat faded cologne lingering on his skin.

He pulled back a minute later and a pout took residence on my lips. He chuckled, "I like you better when you smile, you know. If you pout like that and the wind blows the right way, it could stay like it."

I rolled my eyes, a smile cracking my lips slightly. "That's a stupid legend."

"So are we," he pointed out, winking. "At least to the mortals."

"Mortals," I shook my head, repeating his words. "We're not all that different from them, Jake."

"Yeah, well I guess. We're all animals in some ways. Our versions just much more... literal," he mused.

I rolled my eyes, yet again. "Whatever."

Our lips met then, again, erasing whatever line of thought my mind was trying to put together as they did so. They moved in perfect sync; like always, and then, I found myself on top of him, my legs straddling his waist as our bodies moulded together, chests tight against the others as Jacob's hands ran up and down my sides. I left my hands on his shoulders, squeezing them slightly. As things started to heat up further, I felt my body's natural reaction - which was above reason and feeling - take precedence. Only a day ago, I couldn't imagine myself ever being in this position with anyone but Sam, and logically, I still couldn't, however, my body's natural reaction was taking over and I felt powerless against the throbbing need.

My core burned, my whole body responding to Jacob's hands at my sides; my mind fantasizing about where I wished he would move them. However, Jacob was inexperienced in this area, and I knew that. Lust clouded my mind, though, and I knew if my body's natural response to sexual stimuli hadn't kicked in, my thoughts wouldn't be near this. I wasn't ready for anything heavy, or commitment. Not when the thought of Sam at my house still bugged and nagged at me. But I couldn't help it. I wanted Jacob. My _body _wanted and ached for him. My mind hadn't quite caught up to that, yet, though. Even as my fingers slid down his chest, to his pyjama bottoms elastic, my rational thoughts were screaming at me to stop, but the burning in the juncture of my legs controlled me; told me otherwise. The way his fingers felt, even when the touches were innocent, was lighting me on fire. He made me feel safe.

Jacob broke the contact, though, pulling back, detaching our swollen lips. "Leah," he said gently; breathlessly. "We can't."

Considering I was tough; unbreakable, the fact that rejection flooded through my body, causing every rational part of my brain to kick back in, tingling in a whole new way through me, made me realize I had left myself vulnerable to him; to _this_. My eyes opened slowly to meet his and I nodded, biting down on my lower lip as I rolled off of him. "Sorry," I breathed raggedly.

Slightly embarrassed, I sat up, leaning against the head board. Jacob's rational part of his brain had thankfully override his painfully obvious need as well. That didn't mean I was glad, well, I was, but I felt like a huge idiot. Nevertheless, this route was much more sane, and one, in the long run, I would rather. As my rationality started to kick back in, I took a shaky breath. I hadn't been with anyone in any sexual way - or anyway at all, since Sam, and although he had moved on in mind, body, and heart, with another woman, I didn't know if I was ready to erase the claim he still had on me; my body. He was my first and the thought that he would be my last was both comforting and yet pitiful. Still, the thought was comforting and warm, but I knew I couldn't hold on to this forever; the memories and with Jacob here, trying to help, I realized I really didn't want to always be dragged down by them; by him. Though it was much easier said than done.

"Leah," Jacob sighed, running a hand through his hair as he, too sat up. He reached over, taking one of my hands. "Look at me."

Hesitating before I did so, I sighed, putting up my guard slightly. The one I had mistakenly let down.

"Don't look at me like _that_," he said softly, cupping my face with his free hand. The gesture made me exhale, closing my eyes before changing my attitude. There was no point in trying to make myself seem stronger. Jacob could see through it. "Leah," he breathed again. "You're so beautiful and sexy."

I was _not _expecting that.

"But you're not ready," he murmured. "I want you, I really do, but we don't even know what this," his hand on my cheek dropped, gesturing to our bodies. "Is. You're still hurting over Sam and..."

"And you're not ready," I said gently.

He hesitated. "You're not."

My brow furrowed. "You are?"

Jacob paused. "Leah... I want to help you. I want to be the one you can count on. I want you to come to me when you're upset or mad or unhappy. This is what we're doing anyways," he pointed out. "Being together. You wouldn't kiss me if you didn't want to, and I wouldn't kiss you if I didn't need to. We're both just too stubborn to admit it."

I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly as I kept his chocolately gaze. "You want to be with me?" I put the words together.

"I want to be someone who will never hurt you. If you give me a chance... We don't even have to name it. No commitment, if you don't want. We don't need to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just... together."

"That doesn't make sense," I said, a soft laugh escaping my lips.

He smirked. "What we are now with the possibility of more."

I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip.

With the possibility of more.

More with Jacob.

I missed Sam; loved him, still, even. But that didn't mean the small crushing feelings toward Jacob were irrelevant. Quite the opposite, actually. Jacob could make me forget, I was sure of it. Hell, he already helped without me letting him. Nothing but good could come out of being... Friends with benefits? Yeah, that's pretty much what we were. Then, considering in all the movies, friends with benefits usually amount to becoming more than that, that's where his words weighed in. With a possibility of more. However, it would hardly be beneficial to him. I couldn't give him anything physical and as my body's reaction to his hands and scent dimmed, I knew it was true. My thoughts, moments ago, or actions, rather, were powered by urges. They weren't planned or expected like friends with benefits usually were. The only benefits this would entitle was us both being able to trust the other. Benefits that were already there. Benefits that didn't require a sexual energy to keep alive and healthy; comfort.

"With a possibility of more," I breathed gently, leaning in and giving him a quick, gentle kiss. Both of our bodies were still slightly tense, but it was okay. It was all okay.

Jacob gave me a small smile, and exhaled. "Come with me," he instructed, pulling back and getting off the large, double bed.

The mood was changed so quickly. It was relieving. There was no empty promises or untrue words spoken after that. There was nothing that could entitle that we were anything more than what we came here as. There was no commitment level that made it awkward or unnerving. It was comfortable, and as we put the morning behind us, I, too, got up, out of bed again, wondering were we were going.

"Where?" I asked, slipping on my flip-flops.

"You'll see," he breezed, taking my hand and leading me out the back door of the cozy cabin, into the fresh air.

Things were silent between us as we walked, hand-in-hand as though we had been doing so for years; as though it was no big deal and really, it wasn't. He understood that Sam would forever be burned into my memory and my heart, but he was desperately trying to ease my pain. He understood.

As we entered the greenery, I let the familiar scent of damp grass and logs enter my nostrils. I was used to the woodsey smells and the dirt that muddied me up after patrol. I had never been a huge girly girl. Well, I had. Once upon a time, I'd paint my nails a soft pink and put on some mascara and powder before Sam came over, making sure I had on a pair of jeans that fit my curvy frame just right, and a cute shirt that balanced the sexy. My long hair always flowed in loose waves, past my chest, stopping mid-back when I pushed it over my shoulders.

Now, not so much. My short hair hung to the end of my face, my skin free of any make-up, my nails void of polish or color. My clothes consisted of undergarments, a tank top and shorts for the majority of time. Then again, the latter wasn't because of the break-up so much as the practicality of phasing. It was easy to slip on and off. Nonetheless, my entire appearance had taken a fall after the break-up and my new one wasn't something I cared enough to really change. It was easy and maintainable. No fancy hair clips or curling irons. No money spent on various shades of sparkling nail polish and time wasted fixing the chipped colouring. Maybe I would be able to occupy myself easier if I retreated back to some of my old ways, but when I sat home in a pair of loose shorts, and a t-shirt or tank top, I was comfortable, and a more cocky part of myself knew my body looked good in just about anything. I didn't have to try.

As the guys pointedly thought, the scowl was the only ugly thing. That and my personality, but hey, who was counting?

The trees parted, the trickling of a stream stirring me from my thoughts as my hand started to clam up in Jacob's. It was slightly humid, but not unbearable. Finally, a few more minutes of walking on a seemingly beat-down path, long, overgrown grass around it, we came to a large lake. A stream, like the one getting louder as we approached, washed into the medium-sized, fresh water lake.

"I used to come out here with my sisters," Jacob murmured, dropping my hand as he walked over to sit on the edge of the grass, kicking his sandals off first so his feet dangled in the water. "Mom and dad took us out and we had this blow up boat. I'd always be so adamant about rowing it out to the middle and as long as I didn't flip it over my sisters were content with laughing and talking alongside me while my parents laughter came from shore."

I took in his words; the reminiscent look on his face. I understood, yet again, what it felt like to lose a parent. Maybe we understood the other too well. I walked over, following his lead and letting my feet touch the cool, refreshing liquid. "Do you miss her?"

"All the time. I don't remember her a lot," he admitted, frowning. "But I have enough memories with her to miss her. Rebecca and Rachel had it worse since they were older, but we all got by. Just like you and Seth."

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. I wasn't the best person to give advice, so instead, I took Jacob's hand again and we sat there in silence, listening to the trickling stream as the wind breezily pushed the grass surrounding the pond to the side. Neither of us spoke for a long time, and as the sky lightened more, the sun making an uncharacteristic appearance, I bit my bottom lip. It brought a warmth too all the darkness we had both endured and though it couldn't make either of us forget, or feel better, it was just nice for a change.

"It's not all that bad," I murmured.

Jacob raised a brow. "What's not?"

"Life."

Going back home a day later wasn't exactly cheerful, but according to Jacob, I wasn't allowed to miss the dress fitting. So much for him understanding, I thought bitterly, and unfairly. He was only trying to help, I knew that, but thinking about returning to La Push and having to drive all the way out to Seattle with Emily, Rachel, Sarah, Claire, Grace and Kim wasn't something I couldn't wait to do, to say the absolute least.

The drive home was silent, considering I still half-blamed Jacob for making me come back for the amazing, happy day awaiting me, but as he dropped me off, he sighed.

"Leah, I can go with you if you want. Drive you there, or pick you up, or be here when you get home."

I shook my head. "You're someone I can count on," I stated, recalling our conversation the day before. "But you have no obligation to be here every uncomfortable second of my life."

It was slightly harsh, but true. My tone was dampened though considering the day ahead of me, it only being 9AM now, I had a right to be unenthusiastic. I was trying on some ugly maid of honour dress that Emily had picked out, no doubt in the most cotton candy pink, in less than two hours to prepare for a wedding in which I should be wearing the brides dress. I was bitter right now, but I knew when that broke, I was in for some serious damage control.

"I want to be," Jacob said gently, a frown taking over his features.

I shook my head. "Stop being all loyal and soft. I'm a big girl. I can do this on my own."

"You don't have to though. I'm just saying, fine, if you don't want me to come over, I won't, but I can if it'll make you feel better. We both have our own lives, yes, and neither are obligated to the other in any way, but I know today won't be easy for you."

"No day is," I murmured back. "Though, being away from you," I paused, leaning over and kissing his cheek before my hand found the door handle of his Rabbit. "It was nice; easier than most."

He smiled gently, and gave me a nod. "Hold your head high, soldier."

I rolled my eyes, but a smile took over my features. One that would be nothing more of a memory when I left Jacob's car. "Don't worry about that. See you soon."

I got out, then, grabbing my bag and flinging it over my shoulder before entering my house, forcing myself not to look back at the stalled car in my driveway. If I did, I may never get the will to go into any other uncomfortable situation again. Not when being around Jacob was so easy. But that was only for now. It wouldn't be easy forever. Today it was. Right now it was. But things changed, as I pointedly learned through experience.

I entered the house, kicking my flip-flops off before my mom greeted me from the kitchen. "Lee?"

"I'm home," I breathed back as she entered the large living room where I was, by the staircase.

Smiling, she hugged me. "Have fun?"

"Yeah, it was nice."

Mom pulled back, looking at me, taking a deep breath in. "You and Jacob..."

"We're friends!" I insisted. "Stop asking."

She gave me a small smile and stepped back, leaning against the railing. "Alright, I trust you."

I hesitated, but then, I caught her gaze. I wanted to be close to her again; stop pushing her away. Suddenly, I felt the overwhelming urge to be my mom's little girl again. I may not be the one she knew, but I wanted to confide in her, too.

"We almost had sex," I said shakily. "I think."

My mom's face dropped at my words, but she hadn't seemed extremely surprised. "But you didn't?"

"No," I said gently. "Common sense kicked in." Suddenly, I felt like justifying myself. "We just started kissing... It was so comfortable and then it just... escalated and I just wanted to be in his arms... so he could make me feel safe again."

My mom frowned, stepping forward and taking me into her arms. "You are safe, Lee."

I wrapped my arms slightly awkwardly around her, too. "Not from Sam and Emily. Not from the pain. It's still there and it still hurts and I don't know how to get over it." I felt tears burning my eyes, but they hadn't made their way to the surface, and I blinked them back. I was okay.

"It's gotten better though, hasn't it?" She asked wearily.

I thought about that for a second. "Jacob makes it bearable."

"But he won't be there today," she observed.

I nodded, sighing.

"Go get a shower. I'm going to bring you today and go with you."

"Mom, no-"

"No arguing. Go shower, Leah."

I sighed, hearing the determined note in her voice. "Fine." I grabbed my bag on the floor, and started up the stairs, sighing, but she called my name again, causing me to turn back midway up.

"I don't want you having sex. Not yet, not with anyone. You're not ready. I know with Sam... It was different, but you still love him. I can see it in your eyes. Everyone can, baby girl. Don't do something you may regret. Jacob's still a virgin, remember. He deserves a special time like yours with someone who loves him just as much as he loves them. Be careful and know what you want before you act."

"I know that," I said, slightly taken aback. "I care about him, I do, and Sam... He's not mine. No matter what, I lacked whatever he needed. I wasn't the one he imprinted on. I wasn't what he needed."

My mom sighed. "Just be careful, Lee. Jacob cares about you, and so does Sam whether you see it or not. Think before you act. Think about what your father would of said."

"That's not fair," I shot back gently, frowning, before going up and getting in the hot shower.

My dad, after he found out Sam and I broke up, even having known the reason, the _real _reason, was furious. It was all directed at Sam, too. His baby girls heartbreak, tears, night terrors, and worst of all; mom had told dad that Sam and I had lost our virginity together. That, I assumed fired his anger more than anything else. I still remember mom trying to calm him down in the kitchen, trying to keep his voice down for him so I wouldn't hear. So I wouldn't reflect. But I had heard. I hadn't wanted to, but I had. I missed my dad more than anything. I was daddy's little girl at one point and it all made me reflect back to what Jacob said at the lake; about his mom. It also made me think about Sam, and how his dad left.

Fuck sakes.

I turned the water off, after washing my hair and body, and stepped out into the steamy room. I felt it all sinking back in; the pain, slowly, dreading the day ahead and as I stepped into the hall, going across it, into my room, wrapped in a towel, I wondered how terrible it could really be.

As I dried off and dried my hair, I realized that was a stupid question. It would be horrible. Beyond that. But I had my mom. I always had my mom. I took a deep breath in, throwing on undergarments, a pair of jean shorts and a band t-shirt. I let my hair hang loosely to my shoulders, half-dried and then, went downstairs where mom was waiting.

"Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

**Authors Note: **So! I know a lot of you think Leah's going to go to mush for Jacob, but, that's not true. Like she told him, they have no obligation. They both had their separate lives and whatnot. Leah's still there; independent and strong Leah, however, everyone needs a break for a little while, do they not? Not everyone's strong all the time. Anyhow, the dress fitting will be in the next chapter! I would of included it in this one, but it's already approximately seven pages and I want to plan it out a little more, so stay tuned for that! No doubt, Leah surrounded by the girls and pretty, overdone dresses will make her cheery, right? ;)

All my other stories are coming along nicely, but I figured it was about time I updated this one. I'd say my Leah/Sam one will be next, and if you've read that, as well, I've decided to make it a chapter one thanks to all my lovely reviewers. So, stayed tuned for that as well! :)

**Remember; Review!**

**-Dramaticfield**


	9. Drawing blood

**Wounded**

**Chapter Nine**

**Authors note: Same rules apply; italics are meant for communication in wolf form. Their thoughts, if you wish. Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews!**

**Leah's point of view**

"Get out of the car, Leah," my mother said as she stepped out into the cloudy day.

I contemplated asking if I had to; if we could go back home, but knowing the answer, I got out of the car, into the parking lot of a large bridal store. The dressing rooms were alongside the stupid dress store.

"This is just cruel," I muttered.

"Just put on a brave face like you always do," my mom whispered as she led me toward the large, glass double doors.

"I'm a Clearwater, aren't I?" I joked, my voice lacking mirth and humor; life.

My mom sighed softly, but, with a hand resting on my lower back, she guided me in, ahead of her. I looked around as soon as we exited the large, lavish lobby. White, plush chairs, chesterfields and loveseats sat everywhere in the large gala that was adorned with expensive artwork, framed in gold embellished wood. The large fireplace in the center of the ordeal was falsely lit, flames flickering merely for show. It didn't take much to see Emily and the others. They were all seated around the closest living room set, to the right, laughing and carrying on. I felt kind of bad. I knew I would bring the mood down even if I didn't try. Then again, this should of been _my_ wedding party. Fuck feeling bad.

My mom and I went over, and I plastered a small smile - which probably looked more like a scowl - on my lips.

"Leah," Emily said gently, getting up and giving me a small hug. I forgot how far along she was. Her stomach was bulging noticeably. It wasn't huge, but it was... well, noticeable. I didn't wrap my arms around her back, keeping them pinned to my sides.

"Hey," I murmured back before she moved onto my mother.

I sighed, the conversation halting as though I expected and then, I sat next to Rachel.

"Hey Lee."

"Hey Rach, how long have you guys been here?"

"Ten minutes, not even. We were waiting on you, Claire and Grace."

"Where are they?" I asked, looking around.

"Quil's bringing her and Grace because Clarie's father had to fix the car, but they're late."

Claire was seven, now, and Quil, although continuously brotherly, was getting a little impatient. Not that his impatience would amount to anything, he loved spending time with her and playing with her, but he yearned for the kind of relationship Sam, Emily, Rachel and Paul had. He just had to wait, which was frustrating, but worth it. That's what he said, at least.

"Probably couldn't get her out of the new playhouse he got her," I said half-sarcastically.

Rachel laughed gently, rolling her eyes. "Yeah," pausing, Rachel turned more so toward me, lowering her voice. "I have a question." Suddenly, her voice turned serious; serious and speculative.

"Yeah?"

"You and my brother..."

There was no direct question, I realized after I waited a second, for her to continue. It was open-ended, but I put it together. "We're not sleeping together, if that's what you're asking," I replied.

Rachel gave me a small smile, nodding. "Just... Don't hurt him, okay? He's been through so much with Bella and although I haven't been there for him or our dad enough, I know he really does like you, Lee. And I know you still love Sam. Just don't lead him on too much, okay?"

I was taken aback by her words. They related to my moms in a way. Both looking out for Jacob's best interest. And, admittedly, mine, if I should hurt Jake. "Rach... I really like Jake, I do. And you're right, I'm not over Sam," my voice was hushed so only she could hear it as my mom, Emily and Kim spoke as well. "I'm not intending on getting involved with Jake. Not like that, not yet."

She nodded, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. "I just want both of your best interests. He's my baby brother, just like Seth's yours."

I gave her a small smile, "I know, don't worry about it."

"Emily!" A loud shriek came from behind us.

Claire trotted in happily, Quil having dropped her off at the door and left once she found us. The rapidly growing child through her arms around Emily just as she got up and Emily picked her up into her arms, kissing her cheek. "Hey Claire-bear," she murmured. Grace, Claire's mom followed quickly behind, shifting her purse up on her shoulder with an adoring look.

Claire giggled childishly, and then hopped down out of her arms. "I want to try on my dress!"

Emily smiled down at her, my and Rachel's attention redirected. "Alright, I'll go get the lady. You stay here, okay?"

Grace and Emily hugged before Emily left. They were sisters; _real _sisters. Unlike Emily and I. We were closer at one point though, oddly. She told me more because I _wasn't _her real sister. We confided in each other because we were best friends; because we didn't _have _to be around each other. Cousins were blood, but they didn't live together and share the same set of parents. Therefore, we got away with more by telling each other than I true siblings. If I had told Seth, way back when, the day after Sam took my virginity, or rather, the night of, he would have told mom and dad immediately. Emily wouldn't. She didn't. Still, it didn't change anything.

Claire merely nodded as Emily left, and then, she came over to me.

"Leah!"

"Hey," I murmured softly.

She was technically my third cousin, though I hardly saw her anymore. When she was a baby, right before Sam first phased, I remembered mulling over her; Sam and I, holding her and kissing her, silently making plans for children in our future like we had many times before that day.

_Flashback_

"Four," Sam said, looking down at Claire's tiny face, her fingers wrapped tightly around his index finger as she struggled to fall asleep due to all the excitement of her first birthday party just ending about an hour before.

"What?" I asked, turning my attention away from the small child to look up to him.

"Four. I want four kids."

A smile crept up onto my lips. I didn't know why those words sent chills up my spine; an automatic smile resting on my lips. It made my belly flutter slightly. It was also a huge turn on; how he was so amazing with her; gentle and soft and careful.

"One day soon," I breathed back, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss.

Sam chuckled. "I want to at least be engaged first. When we get out of high school in a little more than a year. I want to make you Leah Uley as soon as I can, my beautiful girl."

_End_

The memories, no matter how hard I tried, never left me, and seeing Emily come back with a tall, slim lady beside her with a wide smile made my heart hurt.

"You'll be okay," Rachel murmured as Claire jumped up onto my lap.

I merely nodded to her before wrapping my arms around the smaller child's waist, holding her close. Maybe it was the smell of grass on her that made her smell so good, whatever it was, holding Claire was soothing. She was so innocent and it made her all the more beautiful. I took a deep breath in.

"I'm Elisa, and I'm going to be assisting you guys today. Your dresses are all laid out in the provided dressing rooms," the slim lady started. "I'm going to start with the flower girl upon request of the bride, alright?"

Claire's smile somehow broadened. "Alright!" She said happily, hopping out of my arms, and proceeding into the dressing room with Elisa.

I let out a breath slowly, sitting with one of my legs perched under me.

My mom's eyes were on me; I could feel it, but she kept a comfortable distance. After all, Sue may not of been a part of the wedding party, but Emily wanted her there anyhow. Her own mother couldn't be there because of the slight distance between the reservations - Though she would be at the wedding - so apparently Emily though she could steal my mom, too, I thought bitterly.

I sighed inwardly. When I was around Emily, I always got so envious. The worst of me was always brought out. But all of this was her fault; my pain.

Jacob.

I had to stop remembering the pain; stop being so caught up in my own unhappiness.

Only moments later, Claire slipped out in a small, beautiful white dress. The wedding colours; pink and orange were shown thanks to the flower under the bust, and the flowers lining the bottom of the dress that came to her knees.

"Emily! Emily! It's so pretty!" She did a twirl in front of everyone, smiling ear to ear and I wished that only I could be that happy. Turning my attention away from the wedding bliss, I turned to Rachel.

"She's adorable," she commented before meeting my gaze.

I tried to force another smile. "I agree. At least Emily's family makes pretty kids."

Rachel pointedly ignored my bitterness, and she just took my hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Can I keep it on?" Claire pleaded.

Emily laughed, looking over to Elisa.

"She can for now," Elisa said gently. "Just don't get anything on it so you don't ruin it before the wedding." She paused. "Maid of honour?"

It took me a second to realize she meant me, and Rachel let go of my hand, giving me a small shove. I stood up, following Elisa into the change rooms on the opposite side of the large room. She pulled the curtains apart and we stepped inside, closing and pinning them behind us.

"Maid of honour, huh?" Elisa murmured as she turned, unzipping the large bag that was hooked up on the wall. There was a large mirror in front of me, and I sighed, turning slightly as I watched her take the dress out of the bag. All of the wedding party dresses - with the exception of Emily's dress, obviously - were short. Emily had at least taken into account my heightened temperature. All the bridal party dresses were the same; cocktail length, strapless, sweetheart neckline with a patch of rhinestones in the center of the chest. However, they alternated between a solid pink and orange colour. Mine was the same, though considering the maid of honours dress was usually somewhat different, instead of being completely pink or completely orange, it was white with pink and orange flowers all over.

"Yeah," I said dully, watching as she slipped the hanger off the dress.

"You and Emily must be close."

I nodded, deciding not to explain out tattered friendship.

I slipped off my t-shirt and shorts and took the dress, stepping into it, sliding it up. Elisa did up the zipper when I positioned it correctly and I looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath in.

It was pretty. _I _was pretty.

I wasn't used to dressing up; to _trying_ anymore. My hair hung in it's natural wave, hitting my shoulders, now. It was a little too long, but I pushed that thought away. I didn't want to cut it again. The dress showed off my curves; it clung slightly to my hips and accentuated my bust, causing some cleavage. It wasn't too much, but I found myself wondering what Jacob would think.

I tried to focus on that; to focus on how for once, I was back to my girly, normal self; caring about what someone - what _Jacob _- thought about how I looked. _Me _caring.

"Let's go show the others," Elisa murmured, reaching for the curtain.

"No," I quickly responded. "It fits. We don't need to."

Though confused, she nodded. "Alright," she breathed, and then, moments later, I was back in my normal clothes, exiting the change room.

Elisa called for Emily next, as I walked back to the group. Rachel gave me a puzzled look, but didn't say anything as Emily got up, walking over to the change rooms and I sat down again, beside Rachel.

"Why didn't you come out?" She asked gently.

I shrugged, "Didn't feel like it."

"Do you like it?"

I paused. "Yeah, I do. It shouldn't be the dress I'm wearing, but I like it."

Rachel frowned, but then, I took a deep breath in.

Emily was trying on her wedding dress now. The dress she was going to get married to the man who should of been my husband in. I couldn't see the look on her face as she came out, beaming, the beautiful, extravagant dress adorning her figure. It was too much too soon. It should of been my dress.

"Excuse me," I breathed, rising again and making my way to the marked rest rooms.

Gripping the sink, I took deep breaths in. I closed my eyes, trying to keep it together. It was all too much. It felt as though the walls around me were closing in, suffocating me. I felt claustrophobic. Everything was spinning out of control; out of my hands and I was powerless to stop the events around me. I just didn't-

"It didn't fit," a soft voice came from behind me.

I opened my eyes, looking in the mirror in front of me, seeing Rachel's reflection as well.

"What?"

"The dress. She's got to get it altered because of her pregnancy," she paused. "She's moving the wedding up, Lee. Next Friday."

The words made it real. Everything was scheduled for another month, but now, there was only a week to prepare myself to literally stand by, watching the man I love marry my cousin with a smile plastered on my face.

Rachel reached out, resting a hand on my shoulder, but I shoved it off gently as I turned around to face her just as my mom came in.

"Everyone's left to go back to Emily's," she said gently. "I can give you two a ride there."

"Do I have to?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm getting a headache."

Mom sighed, wrapping her arms around me. "For a little bit."

**Jacob's point of view**

_"Patrolling with you guys is torture," _ I only half-joked.

Paul, Jared, Sam and I.

Imprints plus me.

I had to try and keep my thoughts off Leah while in the heads of the others; especially Sam, therefore while they obsessively thought of their other halves, I had to try to put my somehow heightening feelings for the girl they all had some beef with aside. It was harder than it seemed, especially when I was bombarded with their love lives.

_"We try,"_ Paul teased.

_"Sure, you're with Leah, aren't you?"_ Jared asked hesitantly.

That caught Sam's attention.

_"No, why?"_

_"You guys went away together last weekend," _Paul pointed out, clearly bored with the subject of Leah as he started to think back to Rachel.

_"Yeah, for a break." _

_"Romantic get-away!" _Jared snorted.

_"Enough,"_ Sam snarled.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. Whatever.

The weekend.

I had to do it again sometime; take her away. She was so much happier when she wasn't in La Push, constantly bombarded with memories and all of our thoughts and impulses. It was kind of sad, really. We made her home hell. Well, not me as such anymore, but everything that had happened to her since the break-up. I tried to keep my thoughts in line, hearing Sam huff, so I tried to preoccupy my mind with something else; anything else.

Though, minutes later, it went back to one thing as Jared started to think about him and Kim making out.

Leah.

Leah on top of me, our feverish kisses tempting destruction of our morals. Our tongues battling the others for dominance as our bodies reacted to the chemicals being released.

_"Oh shit," _Paul managed before Sam jumped in.

Literally.

_"She's my ex-girlfriend!" _He cried, incredulously as he shoved me over. _"Keep your hands off of her! She doesn't know what she's doing! Jacob! Not Leah! She's mine."_

I rolled, and then quickly got back up on my four legs.

The rage was stirring in Sam's eyes; his large brown ones centimetres away from mine. They were so blackened by rage and anguish that they almost matched his fur; his soul, as Embry joked, causing Leah to smirk in response at a campfire months back. But I was mad, too. He was acting like he was two years old. What the fuck. Leah was his? No. Leah was... No one's, really. As much as I cared for her, I knew she wasn't mine, either. She wasn't ready to be anyone's; to be a committed posession of anyones. Leah could never be owned by anyone. I was shaking slightly, controlled by impulses.

_"Emily's yours, you gave Leah up years ago! She's fair game."_

_"But I'll always care about her," _he snarled._ "Don't go near her, she is /not/ a game."_

_"I obviously know that! Give me one good reason why 'I can't go near her'." _

Who the hell did he think he was?

_"She's my ex! You're only going to hurt her! You're supposed to listen to me. You didn't imprint on her."_

"I'm not you, Sam,"

I spat back, causing him to lunge at me.

That set him off further. My temperature heightened and I shook slightly, trying to stay in control as we grappled, strength against strength, trying to get a swipe at the other one. I felt his nails dig into my furry body, scratching it enough to draw blood. Though, I was powered by rage; anger, not even feeling the wound he made sting. All I wanted to do was get him back. I wanted to get him back for all the pain and torture he caused Leah; for hurting her; breaking her. I reached up, clawing my paw against his muzzle, successfully drawing blood as well. He winced slightly, and then, Jared pushed him over, Paul tackling me at the same time and pushing me back, further on the damp ground into the trees.

My fur was filled with mud, dead leaves and grass and the place where Sam's nails dug into me stung suddenly as the rage disappeared. It was as though it clouded my vision; it was uncontrollable for a second. I felt my fur grow sticky with blood where Sam had gotten me; my leg, or well, arm, in human form.

Everything was quiet for a long moment and I got up, shaking out my fur just as Sam did.

_"Back to my house,"_ Sam said flatly before phasing back.

I took a deep breath in, narrowing my eyes at him before I, too, phased back, followed by Paul and Jared.

"Two wolves fighting," Paul mused as we started walking back, tension diminishing slightly. "Over Leah, nevertheless. Who would of thought."

Jared snickered slightly, but I could tell he didn't find it as funny as Paul apparently did.

"Shut up," Sam growled, though the anger in his voice had long since vanished. It was more... regret.

The walk back was quiet; we weren't far from his house to begin with. Though, when we got outside the small house, we saw the girls inside through the window.

"Jacob, I want to talk to you," Sam stated, hanging back as Paul, Jared and I were just hitting the steps to the house.

I sighed, rubbing my face as I turned around, going over to where he stood. "Yeah?"

Sam waited until the other two guys entered the house before talking.

"I'm sorry," he said, frowning. "I lost control." He rubbed his face; dried blood stopping the bleeding from the cut I swiped across his cheek. My arm was still sticky with blood, but it wasn't that bad. We would both heal in a matter of hours.

"It's cool," I responded. I wasn't apologizing for something that wasn't my fault. Sam needed to realize he really had no claim over Leah anymore.

"Jake..." He sighed again, taking a deep breath in and exhaling slowly. "She's still my first. She's still someone I love."

"But you love Emily more," I contored.

"Yes, I do. I love her very much, but I just... I can't see Leah hurt again. It's hard to see her with someone else. She was always there, even when I wasn't. She was always too good for me. I think that's why I didn't imprint on her. She's too pure and... Leah. She's so broken, though. As much as she denies it. I can't see her hurt again, got it? You didn't imprint on her."

"So you're giving me permission to be with her, now?" It came out harsher than I meant. "Just because I didn't imprint doesn't mean when I do, I'll leave her alone like you."

"I'm giving you a warning," he replied, hard, clenching his jaw tight. "If you hurt her, you'll answer to me."

I considering asking who he answered to when he hurt her, but I merely nodded, biting back my words. I wanted to make sure Leah was okay and get out of this interrogation. Turning, I walked up the stairs to the house, Sam behind me, and when we entered everyone was sprawled around the kitchen, some in the living room with their imprints, cuddling on the couch.

Leah was sat on the wooden chair at the table by Sue and my sister, and I walked up behind her, kissing her cheek. I didn't care who saw; I didn't care if Sam was about to give me another reason to scratch him up.

**Leah's point of view.**

I saw Emily rise from the chair across the table, concern in her eyes, but before I had a chance to look back, I felt a set of warm, familiar lips against my cheek. "Jake," I murmured, twisting around to see him. And the large cut on his arm. I pushed the chair out from the table, and stood up to face him, taking his arm in my hands, one hand grasping above the cut, the other, below.

"What happened?" I asked immediately, looking up to catch his gaze.

He sighed. "A misunderstanding. It's cool, Lee."

Everything I felt today; the hurt, was gone. I was only concerned; confused. "No, what happened."

Jacob looked over to Sam, and I followed his gaze, seeing the cut on his face. The boys looked at each other and I saw Emily looking just as concerned as I was, probably asking him what happened as well.

"A misunderstanding," Jacob responded again, looking down at me.

"Jacob," I threatened, my jaw clenched shut.

He leaned down, his lips going to my ear. "I'll tell you later, Lee, okay?"

"Now."

"Later."

"Fine," I murmured. "Let's get you cleaned up, though."

I took him by his free hand and brought him into the small bathroom in Emily and Sam's house, shutting the door behind us.

"Tell me, it's later." I stated before dropping his hand and opening the small cabinet door, rummaging around.

I took out some peroxide and anti-bacterial cream along with a long bandage.

"You waste no time, huh?" Jacob teased, his voice lacking mirth, however. He sighed before elaborating. "Sam and I just got into a fight, no big deal," he breezed casually, leaning against the wooden door. I could feel his eyes burning into me as I stood up, facing him.

"I figured that much out, captain obvious. Over what?" I asked, sighing as I took his arm, holding it like before after putting some peroxide on a cotton ball, dabbing it over the slice on his forearm.

"You," he said gently.

I stopped moving the cotton ball gently over his arm, causing him to wince, and looked up to his eyes. "What?"

"My thoughts sort of... ventured," he said, dropping my gaze and closing his eyes. "Sam saw and freaked."

"Ventured?" I asked, my eye brows pulling together in fury.

"The the cabin," he admitted.

"Jacob!" I cried, hitting his good arm, causing a loud slapping noise.

He winced, "Lee, it was an accident!"

"Keep your thoughts to yourself, got it?" I threatened. "Nobody was supposed to see that!"

Jacob and I didn't need to be on display for everyone, especially Sam to see. I wanted our relationship private and concealed; whatever kind of relationship it was. I needed an heir of privacy and trust. Something honest. The guys didn't need to see anything they didn't have to, though, I couldn't get too mad; thoughts sometimes did do just that - venture. Unfortunately, with our wolf forms, they were just a little too detailed to the others when they did.

Jacob sighed, "I'm sorry, Lee."

"It's fine," I said, sighing softly. "But I'm serious, don't let it happen again. I don't need any other reasons for the guys to hound me. I'm just starting to slip into the backfire. Seriously, Jacob, control it, otherwise your memories are all you're going to have."

He nodded, probably deciding that it was best to merely agree, and I finished dabbing his arm with the peroxide. I took a new cotton ball and put the ointment on in, making sure it didn't get infected, and then put the bandage over it as well. It may heal fast and his immune system could easily fight an infection, but he didn't need to risk it, especially since oral medication, or inserted, didn't stick around for long, including pain killers. Our body temperature burned it up.

"I'm glad you take care of me so well," Jacob murmured in my ear, his arms slinking around my waist just as I got up from returning everything to the cabin.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smirk on my lips. "Shut up," I breezed before we both shared a quick kiss and exited the bathroom to where Emily had also patched Sam up, white bandage on his cheek. I assumed he didn't tell her what they were fighting over, considering she looked at ease. Then again, she probably wouldn't care anyways. She was like his lapdog, pardon the pun. Though admittedly, it made me grin inwardly to see him get a taste of his own medicine; hurt. Even if it was physical rather than emotional.

I saw his cut, wishing Jacob hadn't hurt him, but wishing he hadn't of hurt Jacob more. "Don't touch him again," I said sharply. "You have no right." Then I exited the house, Jacob on my heal.

It was hard to talk to Sam like that; harshly. But it was needed. Sam had no claim on me. Sam had no right to hurt the people I cared about like he had me, whether it was emotionally or physically.

"Leah?" Jacob said softly, catching my hand as we started toward my house.

"Yeah, Jake?"

"You're beautiful."

It took me off guard, and I faltered slightly before playing it cool. "How bad did Sam beat you around?"

Jacob chuckled. "Whatever," pausing, he continued. "And I think I won the fight."

**Authors note: **

**So! I hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm getting lots of really great feedback, and I'm really loving preparing to write the rehearsal and the wedding ceremony itself in the oncoming chapters. Who knows, maybe I'll even have the rehearsal in the next one! Never a dull moment in Leah Clearwater's life, right? Even if Leah's more hasty to defend Jacob to Sam right now, that doesn't mean the wedding's not going to be anguished and indignant at the wedding. Who expects her to be anything more than upset? Unfairly to her, there's still a large part of her that loves Sam Uley. Though her Jacob-crush is mounting to something very appealing to write, I must say. I'm sure everyone's figured out now that this is more so a Blackwater fanfiction, however, I'm definitely not letting her run into Jacob's arms carefree. What kind of story would that be? A boring one, no doubt. Thankfully, people she cares about will still be around during the wedding activity. Or maybe I'll kill everyone off... Muahaha. **

**Anyways, I'll stop rambling!**

**I've provided links to three pictures on my profile - Copy/Paste them into your web browsers if you'd like to view the image I pulled for the inspiration behind Claire's flower girl dress, the bridal party(Leah, Rachel, Kim, etc..) dresses, and the bridal party image I was inspired by.**

**The bridal party image is supposed to kind of reflect how Leah's dress combines pink and orange flowers, while being white, and then the others (bridesmaid dresses) are all pink and orange; the whole look. That way the maid of honour has a little more standing. Just what Leah needs; to stand out, huh?**

**Anyway!  
Enjoy, and remember to review! The chapters keep flowing in response to your feedback. :)**

**~ Dramaticfield!**


	10. Shots

**Wounded**

**Chapter Ten**

**Alert: There's somewhat of a lemon, just not outright sex. You can skim over the details if you wish, or skip that part. **

**Leah's point of view**

"Please?" I begged for the hundreth time that night. "Can we just skip it?"

Jacob chuckled, nuzzling his nose into my neck as we laid under the covers in my bedroom; the moon having overrode the sun, taking precedence in the sky, finally. It seemed the day would never end and I wasn't sad that it had.

"No," his warm breath breezed against my neck, causing me to fight back a shiver; a phsyical response. "As much as I'd love to tell you we could, I don't think it would be a good move."

"A good move?" I asked, my brow furrowing as I propped myself up on my elbows. I looked down to Jacob, frowning. "A good move," I repeated. "A _good _move. Because _they_ do so many good moves, right? They kill people with their radiating joy. Everyone loves them."

I was trying to be sarcastic, but the sad reality was that everyone _did _love them... Except me.

Jacob sighed, also propping himself up. "Leah, seriously..." He shook his head. "Just try to forget about them. Just for now. You don't need to constantly think about Sam and Emily or the wedding right now; just yet."

"It's a week away," I whispered softly, staring off into the darkness that was my bedroom. I could vaguely see my shadow in the mirror directly across the room thanks to the moonlight streaming through the ajar blinds.

"A week before you have to deal with it, Lee-"

"No, Jacob," I said sharply, turning back to him. "The bachelor/bachelorette parties are in a few days and then the wedding rehersal is the night before. This whole week is going to be about this stupid wedding."

"What's really bugging you?" Jacob pried, his voice gentle and understanding. "You can talk to me, Lee."

I studied his features and bit my lower lip, "But us.."

"Me and you... Being together in a sense..." Jacob sighed, rubbing his face. "Just because we hold each other and kiss each other and there's something developing, it doesn't mean I think you can just forget about Sam; I know the hurt isn't going to stop. You've loved Sam since you were freshmen in high school. It doesn't all just go away; the memories; the feelings." Jacob took a breath in, and I waited for him to continue. "I still think about Bella sometimes, Lee, and we only had a few months together. It hurt; a lot. Which is why I know you can't throw away _years _with someone. I clung to those months so hard, and you're clinging onto memories with Sam, but it gets better. I promise. Just get it out; talk about it. I'm here to listen. Always."

Jacob's monolouge made a lump rise in my throat. I looked away from his smoldering eyes so I could catch my breath; train of thought. I hadn't _actually_ tried to tell Jacob how I felt in the long-term sense of things. But that means he may not recognized the progress I had made from a few weeks ago, when we weren't close. He had saw my cry and consolled me, but he didn't get a close view at how I felt before. Not something I told him willingly at least; no walls or guard up.

"I'm scared," I admitted gently. "Above everything else, really. When you're not around... I'm scared. Scared of crying again, scared of feeling hopeless, scared of the numbness coming back." I couldn't look at him as I spoke. I couldn't tell him how scared I was - _of myself_. Really, who in their right minds were scared that they would go numb? Then you couldn't feel anything. Really, it seemed like a gift after all the pain you would go through to get to that point. But no. I had learned that the pain was so much better than the numbess. I'd rather be able to _feel_.

The numbess oppressed you and restricted your air flow, making your limbs heavier and heavier as you fought to take a breath in - a deep breath, causing your chest to heave, and mind to remind itself to keep up the normal function. Everything was so much harder when you were numb; _dead._ I didn't want it back. Jacob made me feel more alive than I had in months; years, even.

I remembered when I used to be happy. I rellished in those memories. When everything was fun and light-hearted. When I could call my so-called best friend and tell her every detail of what Sam and I were talking about, or considering, or, after a while, what we had done. Emily had been happy for me, but jealous with every word. She wanted the love and happiness I had. I never thought that she would actually take my place in everyone's lives, though. She'd only had few boyfriends, and their connection never went to great lengths like Sam and mine had. She hadn't ever found someone she loved enough to give up everything to them, including her body. Until Sam. Until my boyfriend. Though, I had to remember that it wasn't Emily who chose him, or him that chose her, really. It was fate. The one thing I had detested so much in the beginning. One thing, despite how it may seem, I had begun to accept. It didn't ease the pain, no, but it was easier than continuously blaming myself as I used to.

But Jacob made me feel that way again; happy; light. I didn't always feel dragged out anymore. Only when I was alone. Progress was progress, though.

It was my turn to continue now, and Jacob looked at my expectantly.

"I've been alone for so long. Because he left me. He promised me that he would never leave, but he did. Sam promised me a life and took it all away when he left. For Emily, for God sakes." I avoided his eyes, feeling tears threatening to escape. "I'd sit at home wondering what had gone wrong; why I wasn't good enough for him. After I had given him everything I could give him; my mind, my heart, my body; how you all were right, and I don't deserve him because I'm such a bitch." I paused then, trying to collect myself; my thoughts, and my next words were pained. "He didn't fight for me. He didn't fight for us and maybe he didn't imprint on me because I'm... different. I can't have children, I can't carry on our genes like that. Not yet, not anytime soon until I learn to stop this... animal from literally bursting out. I'm a dead-end and because of that, fate didn't choose me for him." My voice broke and suddenly, tears streamed from my chocolate eyes. Jacob immediately took me into his arms, holding me close and patting my hair.

"Leah..." He breathed after a few long minutes of sobs wracking my frame. "I'd fight for you. I'll always fight for you, and," he whispered. "You _are _good enough. Maybe you're frozen right now, yes, but you're far from a 'dead-end'. You were too good for Sam; cared too much. First loves are tricky to keep; last. Maybe, in the long run, this is just to make you stronger than you already are. Maybe you're a wolf because you can contribute somewhere in the pack where no one else, not even Emily can. Because you're still linked to Sam in some way even if it's not your way."

That only made the tears harder to stop and easier to continuously replenish whether I wanted them to or not despite my desire to hit Jacob for saying I was still linked to Sam. But that wasn't the issue right now. Really, that wasn't why dampness side down my flushed cheeks. Jacob was. It wasn't some amazing realization, no. Time and earth didn't move. But there was something else.. A purity; kindness and desire that the world lacked more often than not. There was a knot in my stomach, rising to my throat and I felt so safe right then, that anything could of happened - a full-fledged attack on us from the leeches - and I don't think it would have mattered. "I love you."

Whether my words were friendly or more than, I didn't know. I did love him, though. I may not be _in _love with him yet, but I couldn't fight the fact that I was falling and each and every time something sweet flowed from his lips, the height grew shorter and shorter and I was closer to bottom. Everything was changing, I felt it. Not in a out of the universe kind of way, but more so... Us. We were changing. We were both becoming whole again. Not necessarily the old us, no, but, well, a better version of ourselves. Stronger and less fragile.

"Leah?" My door creaked open before Jacob had time to respond.

My mom entered the room, frowning as she looked at me. "What's wrong?" Her question was more directed to Jacob.

"Nothing," Jacob breathed, slightly dazed. I felt his gaze on me, but then, he shifted his eyes to my mom. "She's just... upset about the wedding. You know."

My mom nodded and came over, placing a hand on my shoulder as I buried my face into Jacob's chest. "Baby girl... You're going to be okay. You know that, right? You have so many people around that want to help."

I nodded, closing my eyes and licking my lips as I took soothing breaths in. "I know." My words were muffled by Jacob's t-shirt and then, things were silent.

My mom shared a glance with Jacob and he nodded. "I'll take care of her. I love her, Sue." 

Woah.

"Love her?" My mom asked, a little harshly. "Jacob, you know I like you... but do you think you should be doing this right now?" 

"Uh," he said softly. "I don't follow.."

"She's got a lot to deal with already," she said gently, as though I wasn't in the room.

"I love him, too," I interupted. "I said it first."

My mom studied us both for a long moment, and I hadn't even looked up to her before I spoke. She saw the tears on my cheeks, but she gulped. "Leah... I don't want you getting hurt; either of you. You didn't..."

She didn't have to finish it.

'You didn't imprint.'

Neither of us had...

"I'm going to take care of her," Jacob said gently. "Whether or not that is a factor. We love each other, but it doesn't have to amount to anything sexual... romantic, or anything. Not until we're both ready. I'm only looking out for her best interest, Sue. I promise. I won't hurt her. I just want to be there for her, especially with everything coming up."

My mom frowned. "Jacob, I wish I could believe you. Your heart is in the right place, but I've heard that before. I'm glad that you care for Leah, but if it happens," It, we both knew, meant imprinting. "None of that will matter." She paused, though. "But you being there for her is all I, her, or anyone, really, can ask right now, so thank-you."

Jacob nodded. "I know, but,"

Mom sat on the edge of the bed, and Jacob sat up, leaning against the headboard, arms still tightly wound around me as though if he let go, I would break into a million pieces.

"But?" My mom asked gently, taking his hand. She may be skeptical of me, or either of us getting hurt in the long run, but she was still caring and she still cared what we both felt right then in that moment. Maybe because it was the first time she say me remotely happy, or well... at ease in a while. Either way, I could tell she knew Jacob meant everything she said even if it was only for right now.

"I think there's something different, here. It doesn't feel like what I've saw and felt of imprinting, but there's something... more. Something that I don't know how to describe."

My mom raised a brow. Though, didn't look too far into his words. She kissed both of our cheeks. "Be careful, both of you, okay?" She said, resigning.

We nodded and Jacob pulled me into his arms as she left, closing the door behind us.

I gulped and then, looked up at him. He loved me. I couldn't help but to lean up and place my lips to his in that moment and his soft lips molded to mine. They moved together for a long moment and then, my fingers were inching up his abdomin's flesh, under his shirt, pushing it up further and further as our kisses grew more and more feverish on the others.

A soft moan escaped my lips after I got his shirt off and his lips were on mine again, his tongue pushing past the barrier, into my mouth, moving with mine. His fingers moved from their resting spot on my hips, up the natural curve of my body, to my own shirt. In only seconds, we were pulling back to get it off; get closer, and Jacob's fingers were at the button of my jeans. I felt my core starting to burn slightly; aching for his touch. Just like it had at the cabin, though more of an... emotional spin on things.

I felt my own fingers frantic to undo his shorts and then, we were both trying to get the others pants off in record time. Once down to the essentials, I curled closer to him, our bodies air-tight as our lips frantically searched for more; for meaning; for the love that was burning in and between our bodies. Then, I felt Jacob lay us back down easily, side by side, curled close. The hand resting on the curve of my hip slipped down to my panties and he moaned when he felt the dampness that was growing in the juncture of my legs. I couldn't supress my own moan, however, as his fingers touched me, even through the fabric. I knew we should stop; we both knew it. Mom and Seth were downstairs. But it was like this was bigger than the both of us.

Jacob hesitantly moved his hand up, and slipped it under the waistband of my panties, his fingers both gentle and yet rough at the same time; eager. My eyes rolled back slightly, lids shut tight as my kisses grew sloppier as lust rolled through me. Lust and love, both.

"Jacob," I half-whispered and half-moaned as the tips of his fingers pressed against the small bundle of nerves up front, moving his fingers in slow circles. I edged my lower half even closer; as closer as I could get so I could get more of his fingers; more of him. It had been so long; too long since I had been close with anyone I cared for and I did care for Jacob. I loved him in many ways and everything, though still hard, was put to the back of my mind for the time being.

"Lee," he groaned in response, chuckling softly as his kisses moved from my lips, to my jawline, lower yet to my neck, and then my collarbone before working his way back up, his fingers slowing even more, causing me to arch my back slightly, trying to push them closer; faster against my tender spot.

"Eager, are we?" He breathed on my cheek, moving his way up to my ear, kissing me below my lobe and back down again to my collarbone.

I groaned and squirmed under his touch and then felt his erection pressing firmly against my thigh. Momentarily, I tried to let go of my own esctacy and then, I managed to move around his hand, and slip my own into his boxers. He let out a small gasp, his lips faltering on my neck. I wanted to show him everything he had never experienced before; everything I could make him feel and make him yearn for and with the sudden burst of confidence and raise in libido, I stroked him, lacking in neither girth or inches. I felt like I could never get close enough to him.

Jacob's moans came out each one seconds after the other, and then, he hesitantly pressed a finger into me and my moans followed, both of us trying to fight them back so that no one would hear. I continued stroking him, wrapping my whole hand around him, moving up and down his manhood, his moans never stopping. Jacob felt me a little, moving in slowly, and back out before deciding to slip another finger in, his thumb rubbing my nerve endings. My body then lit on fire, my hand moving faster on his erection, his fingers hitting me deeper. The love and connection and closeness was still there, but right then, we were both fighting for the others release. To be the one to make the other lose it.

Jacob's free hand ripped my panties completely off, then, and as his fingers moved faster and harder in me, my whole body quivered and ached, my hand never slowing in it's own motions as Jacob slipped his tongue back into my mouth, probably in attempt to muffle ourselves. Though instead of letting it tangle with mine, I sucked on it, trying to bring him to release as I twisted my hand slowly before quickening the pace again, always changing the motions. I imagined Jacob inside of me, replacing his fingers and each time they made me moan, I felt closer and closer to finally releasing the pent-up energy dying for an escape. Jacob's free hand moved from my shredded undergarments to my bra, finally removing it completely as he threw it to the ground. His own passion had definitely kicked in. I opened my legs even more, giving him more access.

I then realized that really, this was his first sexual experience and I tried to focus more on his pleasure than my own. That proved difficult, however, as his lips enclosed my hard nipple, sucking on it, and his tongue moving around it in a circle. I bit my tongue to prevent myself from crying out, every sensitive part of my body stimulated and on fire; burning.

I moved my hand continuously on him though, around, up, down, and as he started sucking on my other nipple, I felt my release hit me like a ton of bricks, his fingers just having changed motion on my sweet spot and hitting me all the same time. I hastily shoved my face into his shoulder, orgasming for the first time through this stiumulation. Jacob, as his fingers continued hitting me hard, found his release as well, and my body thrashed against his, trying to muffle my moans with his bare chest. I squeezed my eyes shut, my whole body tensing, spasming gently as the heat spread from my tightened sweet spot, into my limbs, the warmth and feeling of euphoria overwhelming me.

I continued to pump him and he moved his fingers inside of me, adding a third, slyly, as we came. Jacob was shaking softly and I heard his moans catching in his throat, making them deep and sexier than ever. I rode my orgasm out, trying to make it as long as possible, ecstacy still coursing through me.

Jacob slipped his fingers from me and I released him, warm, sticky liquid coating our hands and legs. The loss of his fingers felt emptying, but I was satisfied. We both steadied our breathing, Jacob's hands resting on my hips, mine, up a little further as I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent. The faint scent of cologne mixed with sweat and bodily fluids was sweet and intoxicating.

If I had thought my most vulnerable state with him was me opening up to him a half hour ago, I was proved wrong. I was completely open right then to everything. I was more vulnerable than he had seen me, yet he just kissed my forehead, pulling me closer, molding our frames together.

"Leah..."

"Get some rest," I breathed softly.

He didn't listen, though, and he kept his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me close to him, our eyes boring into the others. "That..."

But there were no words that passed between us. Just one, intense look and I nodded. "I know," I said, kissing him quickly. We didn't say anything else and just closed our eyes, drifting into a dreamy haze.

After the night Jacob and I got caught up in each other, everything went back to normal. Well, not quite. Jacob had to patrol the morning after, so he left hesitantly after kissing me goodbye at the door. My mom hadn't said anything to me in relevance to our moment the night before, so I assumed she was as clueless as I prayed she would be.

The next two days went fast, Jacob coming over just before the bachlor and bachelorette parties three days later. 

He knocked on my ajar door before stepping over the threshold, into my room. I turned to face him, scanning over his frame to see a half-buttoned up dress shirt with light blue-pin stripes standing out over the white base. He wore dark jeans with it, dressing it up slightly, but still in a comfort zone. I had reason to believe his shirt wasn't completely done up because of the warmth it retained and had no resemblance to where he was going tonight. Which I still didn't know. He had on a pair of black dress shoes, and I had to admit, he looked good; as pollished as I had ever seen him. It was a refreshing change.

Me, on the other hand, also was slightly dressed up, though it wasn't as refreshing. Before Jacob had come in, - everyone was meeting at Sam and Emily's, and then we would part from there. I had been standing in front of my full-length mirror attached to the wall beside my dresser. I had on a pair of black, cotton, dressy shorts that fit me like a glove, accompanied by fishnets. On top, I wore an animal print mesh top designed with a front knot and decorative buttons. It was a dark blue overall, but all the cheetah spots were outlined with brown and were colorful on the inside ranging from red to green. Black heels adorned my feet and although the look wasn't too out-there, it was subtly sexy in it's own, baby-doll way. My shoulder-length hair fell straight as usual against my moms pleas to have curled it.

La Push's weather wasn't exactly hot right now. Summer was coming to an end qucikly and it never hit any extreme temperatures. The humidity was still threatening destruction on our small town, though. The weather was generally the same year-round. Humid; deadpanned except for the small snowfalls we had in the Winter, therefore, my outfit wouldn't be too skimpy for a cool evening. It was actually supposed to be warm and sticky tonight. The less, the better, especially with my heightened temperature.

"You're sexy," Jacob whispered into my ear after having closed the space between us, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my close.

I rolled my eyes, but smirked as I wrapped my arms around his neck, our lips meeting for a brief moment. "You're not too bad yourself," I murmured before he released me.

He grinned, but then his face turned more serious. "You're my trooper," he murmured.

"I'll be fine. Rachel's there," I pointed out.

He nodded, "I know. I still worry about you, though. I know how much Emily can get under your skin."

"Doesn't she always?"

Jacob chuckled before kissing my cheek and taking my hand. "Ready?" 

Then, we left the house after my mom kissed me goodbye and told me how grown up I looked. Jacob drove us over to Sam and Emily's and for a split second, I considered just asking him to stay with me. Or for both of us to hurry off to safety together, but as he parked in the driveway, I knew there was no turning back now and he couldn't stay with me. It was a girls night, something I wasn't so good with. But I had Rachel, as I said before. Things couldn't be that bad, right?

I took a deep breath in before getting out of the car. Everyone else seemed to already be inside as we stepped in the house, the guys joking around and the girls waiting patiently for them to leave so we could start our girls night. Jacob was ushered away from me as soon as the guys realized he was there, but not before he kissed my cheek. Rachel had come to get me as well, pulling me into the living room with the others. All of their outfits were like mine; sexy, but also classy. Rachel wore a knee-length, black dress that showed a little excess clevage and a pair of heels, Emily simply wore a white tank-top with 'Bride-To-Be' on it in cursive, black dress pants and simple black flats. The other girls who had also been at the dress fitting followed suit.

"We're going up to mom and dad's cabin," Rachel said gently.

Up until then, I had expecting a beach party while the guys went off and did whatever they had planned - probably a bar or strip club. Then again, I didn't really know what Sam was into anymore. Having imprinted may of tamed his wild wide more than I thought. A strip club may very well be against his good-boy standards. Good-boy... I almost laughed. I hadn't been able to get it out of Jacob, though, and part of me feared knowing meant worrying that he would run into a new girl and imprint on her, too. The bitter, ugly part of me. The one that was still hurt looking at Emily's portruding tummy; the one that had almost faltered having seen Sam when I first walked in.

"Oh?" I said.

"Yeah, it's the easiest place. We've got plenty of alcohol and penis-straws and food. Oh, and sleeping bags and stuff. Me and you can take my and Rebecca's old room."

I nodded, but one part caught my attention. Two, actually. "Emily can't drink? And penis-straws?" I couldn't help but crack a smile. "You guys went all out."

Rachel smirked. "You know it, and, yeah, but she wanted us all to have a good time and play some games and stuff with it if we want."

I nodded, glad. "I'm going to need some alcohol in me to get through tonight," I muttered only half-jokingly.

Rachel rolled her eyes but grinned. "We'll have fun, I promise."

I nodded, giving her a smile before the guys piled into the living room as well. "Time for us to head out, don't you ladies have too much fun," Paul called, grinning as he strode beside me to face Rachel. He kissed her gently. "Love you, babe. See you tomorrow," he winked at her and she smiled, returning the kiss. "I love you, too. Have fun, but not too much," she threw back at him playfully. "Without you?" Paul asked. "Never." Rachel giggled and I caught sight of Sam kissing Emily goodbye, as well as Jared and Kim.

Then Jacob came over to me, sitting on the arm of the chair Rachel was in, taking me out of my momentary sickened mind frame. He placed his hands on my waist and kissed me lovingly, a heartbeat too long. He brought his lips to my ear. "You'll be fine," he whispered before kissing my cheek as he pulled back. He went to turn, but I took his hand, not wanting him to go just yet. Though the rest of the guys had made their way to the door, and were waiting for Jacob. I knew everyone was watching us, probably thinking among the other imprints that we were the most dysfunctional couple. But right then, I didn't care. I just didn't want him to go.

He turned back and hugged me tightly. I could tell I was making him wry to leave. "I'll be back in a second," he told the guys before taking my hand and leading me out the side-door onto the small balcony, shutting the door behind us. He held me tightly to him again. "Leah..."

"I'm fine," I interjecked quickly. "I just want to stay with you. I don't like hanging out with everyone, especially without you." I sighed, realizing the dependence I had on him and not being very fond of it. But when he was there, his arms around me, seeing Emily and Sam doing the same didn't hurt as much because I was safe.

"I'm going to be back as soon as you know it, okay?" He said with a knowing tone to his voice.

I raised a brow but expected I wouldn't get any other answer. I leaned up and kissed him lovingly. "Alright."

He smiled, kissing my cheek again before we went back inside. The guys left and Rachel gave me a knowing look. "When did you guys get so close?"

The house was quiet, now, and everyone was looking at me. I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you love him?" Kim asked, smiling softly.

The question took me off guard, largely because I did love him, but I still had feelings for Sam. Maybe they weren't as strong, but a part of me still thought that this should be my party. "Yeah," I murmured. "I do."

I thought if Emily could throw her arms around me right then without it being horribly awkward, she would of. "That's great, Leah."

I simply nodded. It was the bitterness that decided she wasn't just happy for me being happy, and that she had to be glad I wasn't panting over Sam anymore. Then again, I guessed I would be, too, if I were in her place. But I wasn't and I never would be. Honestly, I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing anymore. Jacob cared more than I could ever ask for. Jacob... He made me happy and safe and sometimes, you had to move on. I finally _had_ someone to move on with.

Rachel grinned. "Just remember, he's my little brother," she said gently. "I don't want _any _details," she teased.

For some reason, I felt my cheeks warm under their gazes, but rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

They all laughed softly before deciding we should get going. There were two cars, and both had their trunks filled with our overnight bags and other things, including alcohol, games, cards, etc.

Rachel drove and I took the passenger seat, Kim and Claire in the back. Claire's dad dropped her off just before we left, Grace having came over to help Emily beforehand when Claire was napping. There would be things she couldn't hear, of course, but Emily was obviously staying sober, so she could take care of her, and since she went to bed early, - also with Emily after - she wouldn't be around things she shouldn't be. I was pretty sure Grace would also stay sober. If not, she would probably only have a casual drink here and there.

"Mommy said that you're with Jacob, Leah!" Claire cried out half-way through the drive to the cabin.

I sighed, wanting to stray away from topics that involved me and my love life, or whatever you wanted to call it, but she was too cute to ignore. "I am."

"I like you two together," she said freely. "Jacob's nice."

I laughed softly. "Yes, he is."

"Are you guys going to get married, too?" Claire asked innocently.

It took me aback. "I don't know, Claire."

"I think you should. I could be the flower girl, again!"

I let out a small laugh, but had my doubts. Married. After Sam, I never expected I would ever find someone I cared for in any remote romantic attraction, let alone marriage. Especially without imprinting. It would only be a death-sentence; ill-fated. Maybe just being with him was just that; never going to work out. I could only hope, I guessed and for now, I was going to be happy with him.

The car ride was mostly uneventful after that and finally, we arrived to the cabin. We all piled out of the two cars, Rachel, Kim, Claire, Grace, Emily and I and hastily grabbed our overnight bags, Emily's gift, and then went inside. Rachel unlocked the door and then, we were surprised to see a light on in the farthest bedroom. We all entered and locked the door behind us, dusk swiftly approaching.

"Oh my God!" Rachel squeeled, going in to turn of the light.

All of our heads turned to the bedroom, and I briefly paused to the one I knew was Jacob's. The one he and I had slept in together. God, I wished he was there right then, though as two, eerily similar females walked out of the next room, a smile washed over my features. They were holding hands, tears glazing Rachel's eyes.

"Rebecca!" I exclaimed, going over and hugging her.

"Where did the little Leah go!" She asked, laughing softly. The twins were only a little older than myself, but Rebecca was married and living in Hawaii - causing her already dark complexion to deepen, and had a similar parent persona; responsible and put together, just like always.

I rolled my eyes at her words. "I can't believe you came back," I breathed, studying her as I pulled slightly back. Though, she looked identical to her sister, of course, I could still quite easily tell them apart even without the different clothing. Rebecca's face was more baby-like whereas Rachel's was more matured. Then, a thought sprung into my mind, "Does Jacob know?"

Rebecca smiled profusly at my mention of her brother. "Aw, my little brother. No, he doesn't, but he'll see me soon enough. I wanted it to be a surprise so I called dad and figured out when the bachelorette party would be. My husband's gone to the bachelor one, now. Jacob's met him before, so he won't be a complete stranger. I wanted him to get out," she gave me a sly wink.

I wanted to tell her to watch herself; make sure none of the wolves imprint on her. Maybe it was bitterness, or maybe it was just because I didn't want to see her marriage fall apart over a stupid wolf-thing. Either way, with Emily in close proximity, I knew better than to speak up. This was her night and it wasn't my place.

That's when Rebecca left my side, and let go of Rachel's hand, going over to hug Emily and pat her belly lovingly. I felt my stomach churn and looked back to Rachel, who was gleaming. I could only imagine how I would feel if Seth and I were reconnecting after such a lengthy period of time, and although he was my brother, he wasn't my _twin_. Of course, the two had seen each other multiple times through out the years after they parted, yes, but I knew both would cherish whatever time they had together.

"I can't believe she's back," Rachel murmured as Rebecca made her way to hug everyone.

I smiled gently, "I can only imagine." I could see Jacob's face, now. I could _also _see the resemblence between the twins and him.

Rachel ushered me into her and Rebecca's old room; two double beds, and told me to place my things on hers. I declined, though, telling her that she should sleep with Rebecca, and spend as much time with her as she could. In the end, I got the second double bed to myself and rejoined the group who had also all claimed a bed.

"It's weird being here," Rebecca said gently to Rachel as Emily and Grace went in to try and settle Claire down. A frown filled the twins features. "Without mom, dad and Jake."

Rachel nodded solemnly. "I know. La Push was so hard to get used to at first. Before Jared."

I raised a brow. "Ever so nurturing Jared?" I joked.

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "He comes across as-"

"A jerk?" I added, smirking.

He thought about that for a moment before nodding hesitantly. "Yeah, he can be. I just... He's totally different around me, Lee."

I gave her a small smile and nodded, not really wanting to get into the depths of her perfect imprint. Then I realized, I finally had someone who hadn't imprinted with me. Rebecca! She had a normal relationship. A relationship, nonetheless, but it wasn't as sickly and sugary sweet as an imprint; fate. Yeah, whatever.

"How's your love life, Leah?" Rebecca asked gently, elbowing me half-playfully, obviously trying to bring some light into the painfully obvious seriousness of it all.

I figured she already knew. When her mom died, she left so abruptly, and well, I had missed her. I grew up with her, Rachel and Jacob. Since Rachel came back, and we had kind of gotten used to one another again, it was easier, yes, but it still wasn't the same. Neither were there when I was going through the break-up, neither _really _saw me afterward.

"Holding up," I breathed, faking a smile.

Rebecca frowned, taking my hand and bringing me and her sister into the room we had previously claimed. We sat on one of the beds, all three of us, and Rebecca took my hands. She was a lot wiser, she seemed, than the last time we were together. The look in her eyes... Well, it was almost motherly. Comforting in some way. My stomach started to swirl, though and I avoided her eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't around when you needed me," Rebecca said gently before Rachel jumped in. "Me, too." They both frowned and Rebecca continued. I didn't know how to respond to that. "Sam chose you, Leah. I know we're supposed to be here, celebrating Sam and Emily's wedding, but.. Well, I always thought it would be yours." She kept her voice low, of course, but the words still sounded sharp and pained to me. "Don't get me wrong, I mean, I love them together. But it's so odd not seeing you with him. I really wish I could make things somewhat easier and if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

Her and I had kept in touch after she had left. She heard all about Sam, and all about my love for him; everything. The same was also true for Rachel. Though neither had really heard in extensive detail about the break-up. Rachel only really understood when she, herself, imprinted and was told about the legends, in turn, allowing Rebecca to somehow get around the rules and find out.

It dawned on me, then, that she didn't know about Jacob and I. But hearing Sam's name still made a part of my heart ache. Maybe not all of it anymore, but a part, and even that small fragment was still unfair to Jacob, I knew. I wanted it to go away so, so badly so I could be happy again; move on, but there was always the nagging assumption that it was there to stay. Forever and always. That's what Sam always told me. Maybe I never had him forever and always anymore, but I hoped the stupid promise hadn't be fated as well. I hoped I wasn't always meant to carry around some piece of the past in one form or another.

I nodded, "Yeah." I closed my eyes, pulling my hand back out of hers, rubbing my face. I felt the sting of tears. Not because of anything presently, no, but because I remembered all too well my long talks with them both on the phone, telling them how Sams breath felt on my neck; how his arms were the most comforting thing ever. Like Jacob said, the memories were the worst. Oddly, the hardest to get past; what I had been clinging to to this day.

How with Sam I never had to share the attention because I was his one and only; his everything. The words stung more, now because I really was beginning to get closure. I had to believe in that.

His everything. Now that was Emily and the baby. I was pained, though, more than I expected to be, realizing for the first time in real detail that I was that before; his everything. He really did make me his everything at one point, no matter how things turned out. He had loved me, but that chapter was over. It had to close from both ends, especially mine, since his had long ago; the day he left me.

I felt myself spiralling down again. Without Jacob around, I did frequently. My healing process; moving on was easier when the one you loved was there with you and although I loved Rebeca and Rachel, they obviously weren't Jacob; a different kind of love.

"New topic," I said gently, giving them my best smile.

Rachel smiled softly, winking at me. "Well, Jacob has a girlfriend, now."

"Wh-" Rebecca said before I jumped in.

"It's not labelled!" I said softly, right as Emily came back in.

Grace was still trying to get Claire down, apparently, but she had wanted Emily to join the fun and Kim also entered, having been with them earlier as per request from Claire. Or demand, rather.

The both found a place on the bed, and I was surprised it hadn't broken under all of our weight; five girls. One, pregnant. I tried to push that away whether it be for my old yearn for children, or because of who the father of her baby was. I didn't know what to feel anymore, but, Rebecca didn't let me ponder that too long.

She seemed to be putting it together. "You and Jacob? When did _that _happen?" She half-teased, though I could tell she was slightly stunned.

I sighed, avoding all of their eyes as I picked at my nails. I shook my head quickly, rolling my eyes. "It's not labelled."

Kim grinned, "The way you talk about him. You get nervous. Leah Clearwater, or well, as much of her as I knew got a lot of things, but not nervous. You guys must be more than 'not labelled.'"

I wasn't letting anyone evaluate me. "Only because after everything, I really don't want to label it, or get in too deep or anything. I'm not doing it again." I paused. "Actually, the sad thing is I know it's going to happen again and I still can't help wanting it."

I didn't look at Emily's face, knowing there would be a frown on it. I knew this was her bachelorette party, but I also knew that she just wanted to be around us all for that. None of the rest mattered. If we sat down, talking about girl stuff all night, she would be happy.

I, on the other hand, just wanted to get my hands on some alcohol.

Bring on the drinking games and shots.

**Authors Note:  
I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Don't worry, the bachelorette party will continue into the second chapter, and there will be a little twist! I thought bringing Rebecca back - Just for the party and wedding - Would be a cute little bonus, and I wanted to explore her character a little more. I can see her being a little more mature than most for some reason. BUT, that's not why you guys are reading! **

**Leah. **

**So, I kind of took a mixed edge to this chapter. Her feelings for Jacob and Sam were really brought out a little, and as she struggles for closure, she's dealing with her intense liking for Jacob. She loves him, yes. That doesn't necessarily mean he's the only one she sees and she's in love with him, yet - Yes, there's a difference - but feelings are evolving. How can you not love someone so sexy as Jacob? ;) And, they're both dealing with demons. Leah much more so, but both nonetheless. I'm going to try and make Jacob's struggles a little more known between now and the wedding. He's not off of Bella so easily, either and I think I need to stop making him take care of Leah so much, and try to deal with his feelings as well, even though I do think he's already gotten to the closure aspect. I think for Jacob, though, it's more so learning how to open back up and really give a hundred percent into it where he's been hurt before. Again, much like Leah. **

**Nonetheless! I'm going to stop rambling now, and remember, review! Constructive crisicism only, please, and PM me about how you feel about the new Leah/Jacob, Leah/Seth, Leah/Jacob/Seth pictures that are online! Don't know what I'm talking about? Google Breaking Dawn, Leah, Jacob, and Seth and hopefully you'll find them! I lala love them. Fan girl moment. 3**

**Review, PM me, knock yourselves out, even if it's just to ramble about the new upcoming movie! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**- Dramaticfield**


	11. Closure

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Authors Note: OKAY; I made a mistake last chapter with the imprints. Paul imprinted on Rachel and Jared on Kim. I knew this, but I clearly got them mixed up, as a few of you have told me. Thank you for informing me and I apologize. Sometimes, my fingers go faster than my mind and things get twisted up. I also don't have time always to re-read every detail before I post it, so I usually just skim through, spell-check and then upload. I'll try and pay more attention from now, though. Thank-you all for your reviews, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter, as well.  
**

**Leah's point of view**

"I've never skinny dipped," Kim said, smirking.

I reached out, taking the small shot glass and downing the red liquid inside. When I put it on the table, I saw that I was the only one who had drank.

"Oh come on, be honest. We _live _on the beach. You guys have," I teased, mostly toward Rachel. She was the most like me out of the group of girls; me, Rachel, Rebecca, Emily, Grace, Kim. Grace had put Claire to bed and we started playing 'I never', a drinking game that consisted of you going around a circle, everyone saying something they had never done, and whoever in the circle had, drinking the alcohol in their shot glass. Of course, Emily's hadn't had alcohol in it, or Grace's, but the rest of us were having fun downing shot after shot. It was a game that got you drunk fast depending on the circumstances and although I wasn't intending on getting wasted beyond belief (Just a little tipsy), it was fun to let loose, even by the hands of alcohol. I felt a little warm and fuzzy inside.

Rebecca laughed, rolling her eyes. "Next," she said to Emily.

Emily hesitated. "Uh, I've never... went streaking?"

"Define streaking," Grace said teasingly.

Emily laughed, "Like... publicly running around roads naked."

"Without water involved?" Rachel asked, blushing.

"Ms. Black," I mused. "Have you skinny dipped?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "No explanations necessary, remember? Drink if you have, don't drink if you haven't," she restated the rules.

We all laughed. "Or skinny dipped," Emily added.

I, rightly so, picked up my shot glass, pouring more liquid into it before looking to Rachel. Me, her and surprisingly, Rebecca, all drank it back.

That's as far as it went, though and the game ended there. It was nearing eleven o'clock and we had been playing for about an hour between bathroom breaks and food comas. When I got up, I stood a little too fast and my head grew light and fuzzy and warm, like my body, but I knew, especially being a werewolf, I would sober up completely in an hour or so. I wasn't drunk by any means, and I was still very coherent to my surroundings, - and that made me _want _to be drunk, but I had more sense. I had to be in control tonight and not over-step my boundaries. I had never been around Emily drunk and well, I didn't want to see what I would be like. A sappy mess, or a bitter bitch. I'd suffice for my buzzed state right now.

We all sat across from the table, in the small living area with a large couch and many arm chairs and a loveseat. I took my place in a chair before everyone got settled in. Emily had opted for opening presents later before we left - probably so I didn't see what was in some and things wouldn't be made awkward. The lingerie she was probably going to get would more than likely make the alcohol churn in my stomach and then, the contents inside, come back up. I felt my slightly good mood drain.

"It's nice; a girls night like this," Kim remarked.

Rachel nodded, "I don't get to spend enough time with you girls. Let's make a pact to get away from the boyfriends to do this more often."

Ha. Right.

She then turned to me. "Or the soon-to-be boyfriends."

I rolled my eyes. "That's enough, Rach."

She laughed, as did Rebecca. "You can be our sister if you guys get married!" She teased. She was quite obviously only trying to lighten the mood and my spirits, but I could tell Emily didn't like hearing that.

Why?

Her and I were always so close and there was a bitter part of _her _that didn't want me to have that with anyone else if not her. Of course, she wanted me to be happy and have friends, but knowing I would be closer to Rachel and Rebecca than her - especially legally - was hard to her to accept, widely because she still wanted to be that support figure in my life.

It made me want to carry it on, and play-up how amazing it would be if Jacob asked me to marry him and we could all have fucking slumber parties as real sisters.

Or maybe I was a little more buzzed than I originally thought and I was making it all up in my head. I really needed to get some rest.

"Leah?"

"Yeah?" I asked, snapping out of my dazed-state.

"Can you pass me my drink?" Rebecca asked.

I nodded, handing her over the large mixed drink beside me. "Sorry."

"Truth or dare?" Grace asked happily.

Everyone nodded and I once again found myself falling into suit. Though, I had to admit, falling into the norm with alcohol being easily accessible was much more tolerable, even if I didn't have any of it in my Sprite, then.

"Truth or dare, Rachel?" Rebecca asked.

"Truth."

"How far have you and Paul gone?"

Rachel smiled softly, rolling her eyes. "All the way?"

"Ooooooou!" Kim teased, causing Rachel to rub her face and the rest of us to laugh.

"How sweet," I mused, winking at her.

Rachel smirked, getting me back. "Leah, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Truth was too risky.

"Hm," she said scheming. "Kiss someone here."

I quirked a brow, but got up, going over to Rachel herself. I leaned in brushing my lips against hers gingerly before pulling back, hovering over her chair. "Done." It was only a peck, of course, but it sufficed.

"Leah, you can kiss better than that!" Rachel teased. She was doing just that, though; joking. There was no taunting tone to her voice. She was simply trying to mock me.

I rolled my eyes before Kim smirked. "Jacob would know."

I sighed, getting too aggravated. Emily was content watching things as they unfolded, just spending time with us all, but I knew she would eventually join in and I didn't want to hear her thinking she knew anything about me and Jacob.

"Let's get ready for bed," Emily said, yawning. "I'm tired. It's been a long night." She was mainly talking to Grace, knowing she, too, was getting tired, but everyone decided to pack it in.

"I'm going to go for a quick walk; get some fresh air, alright?" I said gently as we all rose.

"I want to talk to you, first," Emily murmured as everyone else took their rooms, Rebecca having roomed with Kim, Rachel and I taking our room, and Grace going into her and Emily's with Claire.

"Yeah?" I asked once we were alone.

"I'm happy for you and Jacob," she breathed. "Lee... Please, can we just... try to start over?"

I gulped. "I don't want to do this right now. I'm sorry but... I can't ignore what's happened. I forgive you in as much as I can..." I thought now may be the right time to try and materialize my earlier thoughts... Maybe try to mend things to the best of my ability. "I don't blame either of you. Or myself, really. I don't know why this happened and I can't change how much it hurt and still does sometimes, but I don't hate either of you for it. I never really did. The negativity is hard to manage anymore. I'm sorry for hurting you as well, making your happiness hard to obtain." I hadn't realized what I was saying until I said it. "But we'll never be close again, I'm sorry. Not after what happened. Not after you give birth to that baby, mirroring everything Sam and I should of had at one point. No matter what, it still hurts and neither of us can change that."

Woah. Yeah, maybe I was _really _buzzed... Or border-line drunk... Something.

I think she took affirmation in my words, that I was making progress and would eventually come around but as much as I didn't _hate_ her, or blame her anymore, when I said I always would, I knew some bridges had to be left broken. Sometimes it cost more to try to fix them than to build new ones and I wasn't ready to struggle with broken boards and bent metal. Not now, not ever. I was breaching out again, to a new bridge, and one I needed to stay on the path to so I could eventually reach it. That path didn't have Emily on it in a detailed way; she was an obstacle I had to get over, as was Sam, for me to reach that bridge, and I would do it. I had to do it.

"It's okay," Emily said gently, still clutching onto some hidden hope that we would once again, be reunited as best friends. I could see it in her eyes.

As much as I didn't hate her, or _entirely _blame her anymore, though, I knew what we once had was gone and in order for me to move on with a clean slate and put my past behind me, that meant our broken friendship, too. That was one thing that wasn't fixable. But I was and I had to cling to my new-found love for Jacob to help me out of the rut I had been thrown into for the past two years.

Everyone had to hope and cling to something.

I gave her a quick nod before bowing out of the cabin, wanting to clear my head before I went to sleep. I decided to take a quick walk into the lake Jake had brought me to the first night we stayed over here, and my feet took me quietly through the woods until my feet were dangling in the cool water, sat on the edge of the grass.

It was calming; the familiarity and the serenity.

"Leah?" I heard a soft, yet deep voice call from behind me.

There wasn't anywhere or any place in time that I wouldn't know that voice and I turned, removing my feet from the cool water. I hesitantly stood, taking in his broad shoulders and tall stature. I pictured the long hair that had once hung down his shoulders, now buzz-cut. He was more filled-out now, too. I pictured the man I fell in love with; the lankier, more boyish one. It seemed like another lifetime ago. He still looked good, though, either way.

"Sam," I greeted, confused. "What are you doing here? I thought you were out with the guys?"

He nodded, leaning against a nearby tree, keeping a few meters between us. "We all came back a little early. I worry about Emily and the baby when I'm away," he said honestly. "Jacob's inside, seeing Rebecca. It seems everyone going to bed was long forgotten, now, but I wanted to come talk to you. Emily told me where you were."

I nodded, laughing in spite of the situation. "Alright. Talk."

My words weren't bitchy, no, but they were sharp. I wasn't here to deal with him hurting me time after time again and I knew I shouldn't have to as much as my chest panged with hurt when I saw him. The way the moonlight reflected off of his tanned skin made my stomach churn, remembering the night on the beach when he had been wearing nothing, as I had been, and we frolicked in the water, completely vulnerable and open to the other one, never wanting to be any differently. It was the first and last night we had done so, and it had been a year or so before he phased but the memory was still fresh, nonetheless.

"Don't be mad at me forever, Lee. Please," he whispered, rubbing his face.

The fatigue on his face told me it wasn't just the upcoming wedding and baby that was on his mind lately. I was, too, but mainly because he wanted, just like Emily, to put it all behind us and try to start over. He, as well as she, was expecting too much, too soon. Actually, too much in general. What I had said to Emily earlier very much applied to him, too. He was my main demon and one I had to conquer.

"Me being mad or not doesn't mean there will ever be any more warmth between us," I said coolly.

He frowned, looking up from studying the ground to catch my gaze. "There will always be a part of me that loves you. I say that so you know all of our time together wasn't fake. It was real and it was amazing. Maybe my love for Emily won out, yes, but what we had wasn't some fling or some forgettable occurrence. We both live with the fall out, Leah, as much as you'd like to think you're the only one hurting."

I quirked a brow. "Excuse me? Yes, I realize we both went through it, but as _soon _as Emily came to town, you lapped her right up, going to her to be with her every chance you got; breaking up with me the night she got here and you saw her. No matter what you say, in that moment, when you laid eyes on her, you'd already forgotten a lot of what we had. Don't say you love me, either, because I don't want to hear it. You want to know something?" I asked, pausing, trying to get it all out in one huff before my voice broke. I was actually doing good, though. I was being persistent; strong. This was something I was going to have a say in. "I deserve to be happy. I deserve to move on." I rubbed my lips together, losing his gaze for a moment. "I deserve to have something solid and warm and stable. You coming here and saying there's a part of you that loves me... You're not helping. I don't want to hear it because at the end of the day, it will never be enough. It was never enough so don't say it anymore." My words were rough; rigid and I felt myself getting angrier than I should. He wasn't allowed to do this.

"I know that-" He said, before I cut him off.

"And you know something else? You had Emily. You had the guys and your mom. I had _no one_. Before Jacob, my family was greiving and I was going through something I never thought I would have to with you, especially when I needed you the most, when my dad died. The guys hated me when I phased, too. What the hell was I supposed to do, Sam? Keep my head down so no one would notice me? I was a fucking female wolf. I was the sceptical of the group and everyone expected me to be the depressed one considering how bad things were then. But I couldn't show them, and you how much you hurt me; how I really had nothing left. I had Seth and my mom, but we were all hurting then over my dad, too. I never got the right closure and acceptance of us back then. It was just one bad thing after another."

His frown had intensified and he took a couple steps closer. "I wanted to be there for you when he died, Lee. God, did I ever. Emily told me time after time again to go to you and every time I would try, or make an effort, I knew you would shove it away. You didn't need me and I didn't want to make things worse."

"I did need you. More than ever and you weren't there. I've always needed you." But not anymore.

He reached out, taking my hands in his. "I want closure for us, Leah. I want you to be able to trust me and depend on me. I know things won't be like they were before, but I want you to at least know that you're not alone. You're never alone."

I frowned, closing my eyes as the wind whipped around us. Two years ago, this would of been an entirely different scene; conversation. But it wasn't. It was here and now and the future that mattered. "I know I'm not. I have Jacob and Rachel and Rebecca."

"I know," he breathed. "I'm glad you do." But the hurt shone in his eyes.

"I'm not your Lee-Lee anymore. She's gone, Sam. And so are you. You're not the boy I fell in love with."

The words were like knives and saying them made my throat sore; my eyes damp. It was the cold, hard truth.

"I don't know you anymore," I said softly, taking a deep breath in. "You're completely different. I used to be able to read you like a book. When you left me, panting after Emily, it may of hurt you, but you had something better to go to. I never did. When you left me on that beach..." I shook my head, my brow furrowing. "A piece of me was gone. The one that cared about anything. Jacob makes me care again. I want to be a better person with him for myself, my family, and my friends. And him. He was there when you weren't and it may of taken him a while, but he pulled through for me."

I didn't know Sam was crying until I felt his tear hit my arm. For a second, I thought it was mine but although my eyes were damp, no tears spilled over. I looked up into his eyes and I saw the tears. I saw the... Well, closure. No matter how he left the cabin, expecting to get it, we had both somehow stumbled into it anyways.

"I should of paid so much more attention to your feelings instead of mine for Emily," he finally said as I took my hands from his, letting them fall to my sides.

I willed myself not to cry, but in that moment... Well, it was really a goodbye. Not a literal one, but more so an emotional one. All the baggage... It was being released and although it still did nothing to further he and I in a friendship way, it was nice to let loose some of the strings that weighed me down. I finally got to say some of the things I wanted to for a long, long time. Some of the more.. coherent things, at least. There was still plenty part of me that wanted to hit him and tell him he was a jerk. I fought back a smile at that part of me. Maybe there was some parts of the old Leah there and I just pushed them away, or refused to see them, but as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was the same girl, just changed in ways that didn't allow a reverse button. I didn't know if I wanted to go back anymore.

Still, the tears on Sam's face broke my heart all over again. He hadn't cried when we broke up. Well, not in front of me. He had looked pained and broken that day, but he hadn't cried. I could tell his heart was breaking, too, knowing what we had was really gone. All of it. Our past was our past and he would never occupy my whole heart again. Of course there was a part of me that wanted to lean up and kiss him and tell him I loved him, too, but I knew I couldn't and I felt to loyal to Jacob to even consider actually doing it.

"Do you know what it's been like for me?" I asked softly. "Any idea whatsoever? Being in your head... everything. You promised you'd never leave, but you did. You promised me a life and you took it all away when you left. For Emily, for God sakes." I avoided his eyes, feeling tears threatening to escape myself. This was a good thing, yes, but it still hurt in unimaginable ways. "Do you know what it's like sitting at home wondering why I was never good enough for you? How the guys are right, and I don't deserve you because I'm such a bitch." I paused then, trying to collect myself; my thoughts, and my next words were pained like the rest. "You didn't fight for me, Sam; You didn't fight for us." My voice broke and Sam gazed down into my eyes with a look both so pained and full of adoration that it made my heart feel like bursting.

"I wanted to fight for you," he breathed. "I wanted to try. You were too good for me, Leah. That was the problem."

"You didn't try hard enough," I whispered back in the darkness, only small solar-lights lining the pond giving us any light, trying to block out the latter part of his words. Too good? No. We had been perfect for each other.

He nodded, the tears dampening his cheeks stopping. "I know. I can't begin to apologize to you and I can only hope that someday, you can look at me without a broken or hostile look in your eyes..." His eyes were piercing, but I couldn't will myself to look away. This would be the last night we ever had to look at each other like this; like we both needed each other in _some _way, no matter how small, because no matter how true that was, we were both moving forward, and there would really be no room for one another in a way we both used to hold onto. None to the extent either of us wanted. But it was the healthier route and one I needed to take no matter how much it broke my heart all over again.

He reached out to hug me or take me into his arms, but I winced and pulled back. "Don't," I said. "I don't need another memory of you to block out; the way your arms feel, the way you smell. Tonight... I think we've both gotten as much closure as we're going to get. We're not teenagers anymore and you're going to be a father soon. Stop thinking about me; my well-being. I'm okay and I'm going to be okay because I'm stronger than any of you think." I was stronger than I thought, too, I realized. "We're okay to move on. I'm not going to break anymore." The last part was a test of my strength because right then, I felt fragile and weak. But it would pass.

"Leah," he begun.

"No," I breathed, feeling the tears brimming my eyes. I just wanted to cry this one out. Cry, get my emotions out, then feel some sort of... lightness when I stopped. "I told you. I'm done and I want you to be man enough right now to respect that I'm done talking and go back to Emily."

He looked at me for a second too long before nodding. He leant down, pressing a kiss to my forehead, and I let him, no matter how much I knew it was a bad idea. His lips were warm on my skin, but nonetheless, different. This was a comforting gesture, nothing more and I did grow stronger by it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before letting his hand rub up and down my arm once and then turning to walk away.

One, great love had fallen and I felt the aftermath of it weight me down more than ever; the permanency.

I watched him walk away for a second before turning back to the pond. I wrapped my arms around myself, closing my eyes as the tears escaped freely. I dug my nails into my sides, my body going cold and numb as sobs wracked my body. I was just about to sink to my knees to really get it all out, so I could move on, when I felt a set of familiar, warm arms around my waist from behind.

"Beautiful.."

"Jacob," I choked out, turning and throwing my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest, getting a new strength as I did so. My body felt alive again; warm, safe in his arms.

"Shhh," he whispered, kissing my cheek. "It's okay. You were amazing."

I felt like I had just gotten off stage from an acting performance the way Jacob spoke, but I knew my and Sam's closure was real. It felt both fulfilling, and heartbreaking all in the same.

But Jacob...

"You shouldn't have to pick up the pieces," I pulled back, choking the words out. "This isn't fair to you... Go back with the others. I'll be there soon."

He almost laughed, pulling me close again, his grip tight so I couldn't pull away as he buried his face into my neck and inhaled my scent. "You need me. I'm here. I'm always here. Besides, I heard what you said to Sam. Me and you are labelled, whether we think so or not. We're together, and that proved it. I love you, Leah and you're going to be okay soon enough."

Something snapped in me, though. "You didn't imprint on me. I can't go through that again if you do. I really, really can't. I won't. It's bad enough once."

Jacob hesitated before resting his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. "I talked to your mom before I went upstairs to get you; before I brought you to Sam and Emily's."

My brow furrowed. "About?"

"She and the elders had been talking. Quil's grandfather told Sue that there's something between us that is right. He can't explain it any better than that, but you know how spiritual they all are. He's had a couple dreams about me and you being together and he thinks it's the God's telling him that things will work out for us; that there's some higher power for female wolves and males. I don't really know the logistics of it or anything, but that's just the gist of it. It's only based off of a dream, but well, legends and dreams are close and the legends were obviously true, so. It's unlikely I'll imprint, anyways, where so many of the others have already. If I was going to, I think I would of by now."

I took a deep breath in, feeling a flicker of hope spark up in me. That was no confirmation of sorts. There was still very much a possibility that Jacob _could _imprint and he may, but... In life, you have to believe in something greater than yourself. If you didn't have any hopes and dreams and faith that things would be okay, everyone would be a wreck. So as much as it wasn't solid or written in stone, I had to cling to Jacob's words.

I smiled softly, forgetting for a second, all about Sam. I leaned up, and kissed Jacob with everything I had. There was an amazing intensity, but not the sexual kind that was brought out the other night. This was pure elation and love; intimacy. Closeness.

**Jacob's point of view**

I couldn't tell Leah that although Quil's grandfather had had those dreams, that he hadn't made the distinction that she and I could be together in a different sort of way. A little white lie would never hurt anyone, right?

I took it in good faith that his dreams had meant that we should be together and although he was still trying to figure them out, I just knew they had to mean something along those lines. When I was proved right, then it wouldn't really have been a lie, right?

She had just looked so fragile and broken... And I couldn't lose her; let her push me away. I really wouldn't leave her, and I had to make her see that. I would always be there to take care of her. Seeing her goodbye with Sam... Although it hurt seeing how much she really did still love him, it made my heartbreak as well, seeing her so broken and done; her tears. I shook that image from my mind as she kissed me, though, and I kissed her back with everything I had.

The feeling of my lips on Leah's was so comforting, I almost forgot where we were. I was wrapped up in her; her scent and her hair and her smallness. The way she fit in my arms and the way my hands curved around her hips perfectly.

Kissing Bella had been so different. Not in a bad way, no. But it had been so... desperate. Kissing Leah was warm and soothing; natural. The way it should be and as much as I remembered having my hands on Bella's hips, drawing her near, and smiling at her laugh when she had begun to open up to me, much like Leah was doing. Though, Leah was the healthier choice for me, and it's not like she could run back to Sam and have a kid with him like Bella had done with Edward. Leah was mine and I felt a slight protectiveness come over me. Of course, she was her own person and she made her own decisions, as she should, but she was nevertheless my girl. It wasn't a unhealthy protectiveness, no. Kind of like... well, an imprint, but not. It was my job to make sure she was okay.

"I love you," I breathed against her lips after a long moment.

"I love you, too," she responded, tears still fresh on her flushed cheeks.

I reached down, cupping her cheek in my hand, letting my thumb brush her skin, wiping the tears away. "You're okay," I assured her.

She smiled up at me. "I will be, now."

"Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery," I said softly; brightly.

That evoked a laugh. "Harry Potter quotes, Jake? Now I think I've hit rock bottom."

"No," I said, a serious not to my voice. "You're finally getting up."

"No... Don't. Don't leave. No... N...No..."

Leah's voice woke me up in the middle of the night. That, and the fact that she started to thrash slightly in my arms. I yawned, my eyes fluttering open. I saw a look of distress over her features and her hair was sticking to her forehead from perspiration. "Leah.." I said groggily, gently shaking her shoulder. "Leah... wake up," I said more sternly, shaking her harder, but still maintaining a gentleness. She kept muttering nothings as I tried to wake her, and a second later, her eyes flew open.

I heard Rachel and her husband, Sean, - who we were sharing a room with - stir awake, but as Leah cuddled into my chest, burying her face as she caught her breath and sight of her surroundings, grasping onto the fact that it was only a dream, I cuddled her close. "Shh," I murmured, although she wasn't crying or anything. Just shaken.

I figured she may of been dreaming of Sam, or maybe it was just nothing in particular, but I still felt protective of her; like I should be able to chase away her bad dreams. Something told me she had them frequently, though. Maybe not lately, but she used to. Probably the same night sweats and waking up in tears. She had control, though, and she seemed... Well, used to them.

When her breathing slowed, she pulled back, kissing my cheek as I tightened my arms around her. "I'm sorry for waking you," she whispered, obviously momentarily wide awake, but yet exhausted all the same.

"It's fine," I breathed, unwinding one arm I had around her waist to push her hair off her forehead. I kissed the center of her head and pulled her close. "You're safe. Go back to sleep."

Suddenly, I had a flashback of when I gave Bella the dream catcher when she used to wake up in the middle of the night with night terrors. Of course, Bella's had been much more drastic and horrible, but I was sure Leah had one or two of the same before. I couldn't be there to hold Bella and keep her safe. It was more... Well, if I had to classify it as a relationship, it was more of a high-school one. A innocent one, sort of. We never spent the night together - Not that she would of wanted to because of Edward - and we never had any form of closeness beyond that one kiss.

With Leah, I _could _be there to hold her and keep her safe whenever she desired. It was solid and real and I felt happy I could be the support figure in her life. She leaned up and placed her lips to mine and for a brief moment, I kissed her back gently and lovingly before she fell back into a now, peaceful, slumber.

Morning came slowly after that, and I felt my body stir awake as the sunlight filled the room, Leah's warm body curled close to mine under the covers. My eyes opened and everything came in focus. I yawned, the smell of Leah's hair filling my nostrils as I shifted. I nuzzled my nose into her neck. Kim, Jared, Paul and Rachel were in the next room over, and then Grace, her husband, Sam, Emily and Claire were in the last room down. Likewise, Seth, Embry, Collin, Quil, Brady were all scattered around the house wherever they were comfortable. Leah groaned softly, her brows furrowing as she shifted, burying her face into my chest.

I couldn't help the grin that emerged on my lips. Everyone seemed to be up already, out in the kitchen/living room getting breakfast from the waft of bacon and eggs filling the room. I felt my stomach growl and I gently moved away from Leah, sliding off the bed. Rebecca and Sean, her husband, were already up and I slipped a pair of shorts on over my boxers before quietly exiting the room, into the kitchen. Kim, Jared, Rebecca, Sean, Rachel, Paul, Seth, Embry and Grace were scattered around the kitchen and living room, making the cabin look a lot smaller than normal and I found it odd that Emily wasn't up cooking. Even through her pregnancy she always took care of the pack. It was admirable, even though sometimes, I understood Leah's views too well and felt angry toward her, too.

It wasn't fair to her, but well, life wasn't fair and nothing had been to Leah before now. Or me, really. Falling in love was never easy but it was even harder falling out of love.

I pulled myself up onto the stool, resting my elbows on the counter top as I rubbed my eyes.

"Someone's up late," Embry mused.

"Sam and Emily aren't even up," I pointed out. "And where did Collin, Brady and Quil go?"

Seth shrugged. "Actually, Sam's with Emily. She's not feeling well. Morning sickness or something. Collin and Brady got picked up early because they had plans for today and Quil's with Claire, gone for a walk."

I nodded, "Makes sense."

Seth chuckled, pulling up a seat next to me. "How is she?" He said softly, though, the other could hear fully well.

"I'm fine," A voice said, coming from the newly ajar door.

I completely understood Seth's worry for his sister because I worried about mine constantly, especially when Paul imprinted on Rachel. It was still taking some getting used to, honestly. I could only imagine how Seth felt about me and Leah together. As far as I knew, he still looked up to me as a big brother and that must of been a little off for him. However, I suspected he was just glad that Leah seemed more herself.

**Leah's point of view**

I slipped up, beside Jacob, where Seth sat momentarily as he went over to help Rebecca with frying the eggs. "Sleep well?" He asked gently, taking my hand below the counter.

I nodded, giving him a small smile.

Rebecca yawned before Seth completely took over from her and she came over, leaning on the other side of the island. "So you two love birds, how'd you sleep?"

I sighed, rubbing my face with my free hand. "I've slept better."

Jacob just looked intently at me, and then to his sister. "Good. You?"

"The same," she said softly. "The beds here aren't nearly as comfortable as they were when we were little."

Jacob chuckled. "I hear you. Years of use, I guess."

I felt exhausted. My dream-filled sleep certainly didn't leave me rested.

"You okay?" Jacob asked softly.

I nodded, kissing his cheek. "Just tired."

His hand dropped mine and then encircled my waist, keeping me close. I laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as I inhaled the scent of grease and cooking eggs.

"How's the morning sickness?" I heard Rebecca ask moments later.

I looked up, seeing Emily and Sam walking into the kitchen.

"A bitch," Emily groaned, turning her nose up slightly. "Every smell and wrong movement makes me sick lately."

At least karma was starting to catch up to her I suppose.

**Authors note:  
SO! I hope you guys like this chapter. I don't really have much to say about it except for that. It's kind of emotional, but I really felt that Sam and Leah, although no closer than before, needed the proper 'goodbye' resulting in closure. I know many of you may not agree, but, now she can move forth, in my opinion, without as much baggage. In the coming chapter, the wedding rehersal will begin, and then, the big wedding! Leah and Jacob will be the focus of these chapters, even though it's Sam and Emily's day. I, personally, being a fan of Leah, don't really want to dwell on the little details of the wedding and how amazing they are, though don't get me wrong, they will still be included. From Leah's perspective, however, giving it a sarcastic twist. Oh, and this isn't the first time you'll see Jacob's little white lie being brought up. Stay tuned. :)  
**

**Reviews would be appreciated and make me write faster! **

**-Dramaticfield. **


	12. Composure

**Wounded; Leah Clearwater**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Authors Note: I'm sooo sorry that this chapter has taken literally, forever. But, I hope you're all excited for Breaking Dawn part 2, and with the visual in front of me of Edward and Bella's wedding with Jacob, I think I've found a pretty sound picture of Emily and Sam's with Leah. Anyhow, I apologize once again and I hope you guys haven't written me off! Enjoy!**

**Leah's point of view.**

The next morning we returned home and I hadn't done anything. Jacob helped Sam with some things for the wedding, reluctantly, and I laid around in bed watching horror movies, trying to push the fast approaching wedding from my mind and get some actual rest.

However, the wedding rehearsal was later on tonight, and since I rolled out of bed this morning, I've wanted to crawl right back in. I heard a knock on my bedroom door as I sat on my bed, a towel wrapped around my damp body. Droplets from my wet hair tickled down my shoulders as I moved to opened my door and see Jacob standing there.

"I can let you get dressed if you want," he said a minute after eyeing me.

I shook my head, ushering him in and closing my door behind. I walked over to my small room divider and changed behind that into shorts and a t-shirt before reemerging, the towel wrapped around my hair instead.

I walked over to him and sat on his lap on the bed, kissing him softly. "Don't leave me alone with my imagination anymore, please," I half-joked.

He smirked. "Oh? Why's that? All wet, naked and imaginative, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, hitting his shoulder. I tried to get up, but he pulled me down onto the bed so that I laid on his chest. "You wish," I whispered.

He smirked. "No comment," his lips brushed mine softly. "Ready for tonight?" There was a more serious note to his voice.

I hesitated. "What was it like at Edward and Bella's wedding?"

Jacob frowned and momentarily fell silent, in thought. "Sam had to take me away," He paused, trying to formulate the right thoughts. "They all did. I got so mad... But only because of the vampire issue, not exactly because of the wedding. I was more... Upset because of that, I guess. It was a mix of emotions. Everything was so perfect for them and everyone was there to celebrate; even my friends and my dad; Seth. It was hard, I guess; to know they were supporting them when I still wanted it to be me. I still wanted to have won out. It was weird seeing my friends and family happy for them when they knew how hard it was for me."

"And I didn't make it any easier," I whispered.

"It's in the past, Leah. All of it. Edward and Bella are happy, and so am I, now. Of course I had wished Bella had picked me, back then, but you're in no way my second choice."

"We got close over Bella," I admitted, as much as I disliked the vampire.

"It's all a learning process, Lee. Just take a deep breath tonight and walk down that aisle with your head held high. I'll be right there by your side, literally. Your mom and Charlie are going to help set up some more after the run-through for a little bit so I'll bring you home and we can stay downstairs in the den, watching movies or something. Whatever you want," he breathed, kissing my forehead as his arms tightened around my waist.

I smiled up at him, nodding. "Love you."

"Love you, too," he breathed before shifting us so we were both sitting on the edge of the bed again.

"Leah?" My mom called before entering my room, giving us both a smile. "I'm running over to Jake's to meet up with Billy and Charlie. I'll won't be home before the rehearsal, so you're on your own for dinner. Seth's downstairs."

"Alright," I called back as she left. Jacob wrapped a supportive arm around my waist, grazing the skin under my tank top with his finger tips.

I turned into him, kissing the base of his neck, the warmth radiating off of him, seeping into me slowly as my nose nuzzled the crook of his neck. Jacob shivered, pulling back slightly. "You have no idea what you do to me, Leah," he whispered.

"I think I do," I responded playfully, a wink causing him to chuckle in response. My flirtatious, confident side was starting to reemerge with Jacob, and I felt slightly like the old me. Before Sam, before the hurt, before Emily. The one who thought a lot about herself; the one who was fierce, not only in fighting, but loving as well.

He rolled his eyes and started to pinch my sides, tickling up my torso. Laughter rolled from my lips and I begged him to stop, but despite my protests, his fingers kept going as I struggled to ward him off.

"You're such an animal," I shrieked jokingly before he pulled back.

He growled playfully, "Is that so, Ms. Clearwater?"

I laughed. "The big, bad wolf."

He smirked, winking. "Don't you forget it."

Rolling my eyes, I managed to sit up, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

The remainder of the afternoon was filled with laughter, movies, and forgetfulness. With Jacob, it was easy to pretend today was nothing more than a normal, easy-going day with him. We told jokes, kissed, and exchanged banter until we made supper for ourselves and Seth. But the reality was fast-approaching as the sun started to descend, along with my good mood. It was actually starting to rain. Ironic.

"Time to get ready, Leah," Seth called up the stairs as I combed my hair while Jacob watched TV.

"Alright," I called back, slightly annoyed.

Jacob got up off the bed as well. He brought a pair of dress pants with him and a button-down shirt. Nothing too fancy, but formal enough for this type of event. Me, on the other hand, had no clue what to wear. It was between I-couldn't-care-less and ... well, that was it, actually. My good mood was definitely dwindling. As much as Jacob helped me forget... Well, it was still hard for a multitude of reasons. Sam was my first love... my first everything. And Emily... She was supposed to be my best friend. Supposed to be were the key words. I sighed, biting my bottom lip. The other guys certainly weren't going to make this anymore pleasurable, either.

"What are you wearing?" Jacob asked as he took his shirt off, before pulling on the button-up one.

I shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed, running a hand through my disheveled hair. "I don't know."

Jacob turned to my dresser drawers. "I'll pick, then."

"If you pick I won't have anything to wear," I joked teasingly.

He smirked. "That's after."

I knew he was only teasing. More than likely he would be consoling me after tonight was over. However, with Jacob by my side, I knew tonight wouldn't be near as socially awkward and annoying as I was mulling over. He'd make sure of it.

He walked over to my closet, opening to reveal a rod full of hanging clothes. He ran his fingers against some of the material. "How come you don't wear any of this?" He asked, eying me speculatively.

I shrugged, "I used to."

He frowned but after a long moment of deciphering, pulled out a pair of high waist dress pants I hadn't remembered I owned and a spaghetti strapped tank top that flowed out slightly, tying on the bottom in the front. It was a dark purple with flowers scattered over the material and I used to think it was really pretty. Flattering, even.

"I know the pants may be a little warm so the tank top should help give you a nice balance," he said gently.

I nodded, giving him a small smile. Maybe some change would be good. I took the clothes from his hands and went behind the room divider, hastily changing into them, throwing my other clothes on top of the screen.

"Are you a fashion consultant now, Jake?" I teased before stepping out and looking in the mirror. I left my hair down, straight, just past my shoulders.

Jacob smiled when he saw me, obvious lust playing over his face. "No, but you have to admit, it looks good on you."

Yeah, my body looked hot. The pants hugged every curve of my hips, all the way up to my sculpted tummy and the shirt was just low enough to show the top of my well-endowed chest.

It may not of stunted the reality of what was to happen tonight, no, but seeing Jacob look at me the way he was right then... Well, it definitely made a fire lit inside of me. I knew, somehow that I was ready. I wanted every part of him burning holes in my skin with his lips. Everywhere. The sudden overwhelming warmth that spread through me at his look was... well, overwhelming. I smiled softly, turning back to the mirror.

Seth entered my room then, "Lee, we have to go now."

"That's our cue," Jacob said, taking my hand in his much larger one. I have to admit, he looked good in the button-down and black slacks. Very good.

I nodded, meeting his eyes for a second, returning his lust. "Let's go."

He tightened his grip on my hand and then we left my room and the three of us piled into his rabbit.

Seth ran up to the guys clustered around the front entrance of the open church doors as soon as well pulled into the dirt parking lot. There was a awning placed over the doorway, coming out slightly, shielding the guys to the misty air. I was hesitant to move out of the car. Although it was Emily's day, I felt like there would be eyes on me as well, trying to see if I would fall apart. But I wouldn't. I was better than that. Better than this stupid wedding and better than hurting over Sam's imprint. I kept telling myself that and I knew to some extent, it was true.

"Everyone's going to be looking at you," Jacob said softly as Seth jumped from the car, running over the the others. He confirmed my fear and I think he realized it because he quickly followed with, "Just look at you, Lee. You look beautiful. You're going to kill it in there."

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Or someone."

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "It's time to go in, Lee."

I nodded and sighed but then opened the door and let my four-inch heels hit the ground. Today may be Emily's day but I felt hot and for once, I wanted for the guys to actually see me as a girl; a woman. Not a female wolf that was more or less one of the guys whether or not they wanted me to be. Jacob got out, locked the car and came over to take my hand. Our fingers intertwined and we walked up to the guys; Embry, Paul, Jared, Seth, Brady, Collin and Quil.

They all looked the same; white button downs and black or brown dress pants. I was kind of surprised to see them all clean up so well. I was kind of used to big, hairy animals, so it was a nice change. For once, they were all put together, hair brushed the right way, and not sticking up all over the place. Seth looked very handsome, too. He was the man of the house and he held his shoulders high like our dad would of, easing in with the guys.

"Jake!" Embry said, grinning before glancing at me. His brow furrowed. "Leah..."

I looked at him, catching his gaze, and when I saw what shone in his eyes, I shook my head; sympathy. "I'm fine," I said quickly.

The guys were all momentarily quiet, not sure what to say, until Paul broke it. "Well, I guess that answers our question."

My brow furrowed; even the guys looked confused. "Huh?" Collin said.

Paul nodded toward me, giving me a once over. "Leah didn't throw away all her clothes."

Some of the guys laughed, some just grinned and I sighed. Jacob just chuckled before turning to me. "Leah? Go inside for a second, okay? I'll be right in, I promise. Your mom's in there and my dad."

I looked at him, horribly uncomfortable with his request, but I obliged and let his hand go, silently, opening the doors of the chapel, and stepping inside.

**Jacob's point of view.**

As soon as Leah was out of ear shot, I piped up, addressing the guys. "Don't make today harder for her," I said. "I'm serious. It takes a lot of courage; She still cares about the both of them, and it's hard to her to care and hate them at the same time. She's exhausted, mentally and physically and I don't want any of you saying anything to her to get her upset."

Jared nodded. "We know, Jake. We're not going to say anything."

I nodded. "She doesn't want sympathy, either, though. Include her, but show her the same respect today that you will each other."

Paul smirked. "I don't think she wants that either, Jake."

I couldn't help but to chuckle. "You know what I mean. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouths shut. I'm lucky she came here."

"She's the one," Embry said softly; warily. "That agreed to be the maid of honour, though, Jake. She's putting herself through this, honestly. Not to sound mean or anything, but she could of said no."

I hesitated, getting a complete thought together before answering. "She couldn't say no to Emily. She hates that she's with Sam, but she still can't let go of the past. Leah's not foolish enough to pretend like nothing happened, but she is mature enough to realize what her battles are. Trust me, she's just too tired to fight anymore. She's finally opening up, and trying to move on and I don't want her to regress, though I would of understood if she had told Emily to shove it. Though I have nothing personally against her. I went to Bella's, even though it was hard. I don't know, it was like I owed her something for some stupid reason. I guess Leah still remembers when they were kids."

The guys agreed. "I'm going to make sure she's okay, but I'll be back."

I turned, entering the church, the door closing behind me. I saw Sue and Billy hanging some flowers, Sue on the ladder and my dad holding it. I looked around, no sign of Leah.

**Leah's point of view.**

My breathing was erratic. I couldn't control it. My forehead was getting clammy and I clutched the side of the sink, splashing cold water on my face. I didn't want to do this. What did I get myself into?

The hall was decorated all around with white roses and Emily was excitedly running around in a knee-length pink dress, saving her wedding dress from Sam's eyes until tomorrow. I took another, unsteady breath in before groaning. Why did I do this to myself? I had no one else to blame - and I was good at finding people to blame. I frowned, looking at myself in the mirror. I patted my face dry with a nearby papertowel and then studied myself, trying to force a believable smile. I looked pretty - hot, even. Pretty fucking hot. I pulled my tank top down slightly, revealing the first bulge of cleavage purposefully, and then, I pulled myself together.

Pushing my shoulders back, standing tall. I was a Clearwater after all. We were fighters, no matter what the circumstances.

I exited the bathroom and almost ran straight into Jake. "Sorry," I said softly, hugging him.

He chuckled. "Don't be. You okay?"

I nodded, "Of course." I gave him my best smile, and honestly, being around him, seeing the adoration in his eyes, it wasn't that hard. "I'm a Clearwater, right?" Saying the words reinforced my thought process and I tried to forget what everyone was here for. All I had to do was walk down the long white-rugged aisle with Jake on my arm, tune out what the priest said for a quick run-through, minus the vows, and then stand around for a little bit after with Jake while everyone mingled before the big day, once again, tuning it all out. It couldn't be that hard.

He smiled, kissing my forehead and taking one of my hands into his, lacing our fingers together. "Right. Now, let's go out and show everyone what a hot couple they've got to beat."

A small laugh escaped my lips, "Let's."

He squeezed my hands as we rounded the corner, back into the main part of the chapel. There were rows and rows of pews, all made of dark pine wood. White mesh lace joined all of the rows together, a bow at the end of each pew. Personally, I didn't understand how people were supposed to sit in them when the lace joined all the pews together, including the entrances. There were white flowers at the beginning and the end of the seating, standing tall. The carpet going down the middle was also white and long, fitting the space between the pews on both sides of the room perfectly. I had to admit, it was like a Hollywood movie decorator came in and threw the place together. Or Alice Cullen.

That made me think, however. Surely, with the relationship Sam had with the Cullen's, they weren't invited. For Jake's sake and, well, my own. Since my mother started seeing Charlie, it was always a little weird around him knowing his daughter was a vampire. I hoped they didn't get too close, to be honest. I liked that he made her happy, yeah... But well, vampire and wolf sisterhood didn't seem, to me, to be a promising idea. That, and he would never be my dad. Billy was a closer fit considering I knew him well, and my whole life. My mother, however, could dictate her own life. As I could mine.

Emily was stood up front, by the altar with Sam, talking to the priest. Somehow, his presence felt wrong. We were... unnatural things. At least Sam was, and I know I personally would feel more comfortable with a beach-themed wedding, having one of the elders marry me. I shook the thoughts away, though. I'd never be married. Even if I was with Jake, I couldn't marry him. Not until I knew there was no chance of either of us imprinting; and that was something I'd never, ever know until it happened.

"What's with all the white?" I said to Jake, spitefully. "White's for virgins."

Jacob sighed.

I still remembered that night.

The night, long ago, when Jacob broke off from Sam's pack. We had went to Sam's to figure out what was going on, why we couldn't hear Jake and Seth anymore. Sam and Emily...

We were standing outside the small, two-story house. The lights were all off and if we hadn't had heightened senses, no one would of heard the soft moans coming from the opened upstairs window. Sam and Emily were... /together./ I hadn't considered leaving Sam's pack - well, in much well thought out detail or opportunity, until that moment. That broke me. I remember the guys reactions. Some were... out of place, the others, smirked, and then when they all realized I was still there... Well, the look on their faces was a mix between pity and awkwardness when they looked in my direction. I wasn't mad... Stunned, maybe. My heart felt like it dropped to my feet and my warm skin felt cold all over. My stomach churned uncannily and I felt sick. Instead of sticking around, I phased and I ran until I could finally get rid of the others voices, and I heard Jacob and Seth's.

**Authors Note:**

**I'm soooooooooooo sorry this took literally FOREVER. I promise to try and start this up again and I hope I haven't lost too many of you amazing, faithful readers. I do apologize and if you would please review this, I will promise even more to continue it! I know I said the wedding reception would be in this chapter, but I'm just trying to engage how many readers I still have so if you would please review and let me know if you're still up on me continuing the story, I will definitely put lots of effort into it in the next two weeks and see how many chapters I can get done and where I end up! Thanks soo much for reading guys and I apologize once again! **

**Remember, Review !**


	13. Practice Makes Perfect

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Leahs point of view**

"I wish they'd hurry up and get this thing over with," I muttered.

Jacob let go of my hand, wrapping a loose arm around my waist. "Don't stress, Lee."

I sighed and resisted an eye roll.

"Alright," Emily called softly through-out the large church, her voice carrying a gentle echo. " I'd like everyone in the wedding party up front."

We all obliged and walked up to the front of the room.

"All the bridesmaids are over here, on my side, and all the groomsmen are over there, by Sam," Emily said gently, directing everyone. When we were all up there, my mom walked up and took each of us by the hand, showing us where we would stand and having to leave Jacob's side almost killed me. I was the closest to Emily and I stood awkwardly as Jacob took his position. Once we were all stood properly, the priest,-or I guess the better word would be coordinator since I learned he wasn't a _real _priest- gave us a run through of the evening.

"Now that you're all in your rightful places, we're just going to do a run through of the actual ceremony, and then the recession. After that, we're going to direct the photographer for tomorrow as to what the bride and groom here want, and then we'll do a brief run through of the procession, with the music so everyone knows when to enter, how far apart to be from the others, ecterea."

Whatever. I figured as long as I stood there, where I was supposed to be I'd be fine as long as I didn't dig my nails into my hands too hard to break skin. If I thought Hell would be bad in an after life, I definitely wasn't doing today justice. Emily was the devil and all the white ribbon and bows seemed like a firey red entrace up to the alter, which could easily of been where people go to get initiated once they die, before they really enter the big elaborate red room where flames and lava flowed excessively, all for show, of course. I didn't think Hell would be too bad. The people would suck, obviously, but I had trouble with the whole redemption thing, so I figured a lot of half-decent people would be in Hell, instead of God forgiving their sins. So many people sinned these days, even if it was just sex before marriage, that I think Hell is a lot bigger of a place than some think, with people who aren't all evil. Just people who have made mistakes in their lives.

I tried to focus back on the gathering, though a part of me would of liked to continue thinking of other things.

"I'm going to say the opening words, and then we'll go through the ceremony. It's only a short one, as requested by the bride and groom so it shouldn't take too long. When I'm done, we'll play the music and you'll all walk out, joining up with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. The last bridesmaid and groomsmen go first."

**Jacobs point of view**

We nodded at the priests words, and then he started speaking. Personally, all I got was 'We're all gathered here today for the mari... of Sam and...'. Leah was gorgeous and as soon as I looked over at her, that was it. I hoped they wouldn't call on me for anything because I doubted I'd respond. Leah's attire was far from childlike; she was a woman. Her curves were perfectly accentuated and as I grazed them over with my eyes and saw her face, my heart almost broke. How could such a beautiful woman wear such a look of agony on her face? I could of walked over to her right there and took her into my arms, holding her so tight I'd break her, promising never to let her go. I'd never be able to imprint. It wasn't possible. Not with Leah standing right there.

_That's what Sam said, too,_ a voice whispered inside me. I shivered. I wouldn't be like him. Even with an imprint... as powerful as it was... Ah, fuck it. I wasn't going to imprint. Too many of us had already and I tried so hard to find someone who was supposedly the reason I existed. I convinced myself, regardless, that my feelings for Leah were different than Sam's when they dated, and I would prove to her that no foolish imprint would take me from her.

Leah's face was like a punch to the heart, though. I could see the tears rising to her face and as much as I hated the fact that she still cared so much for Sam, I hated him more for putting her through this. I took a big breath in through my nose, trying to stay calm, forcing myself to stay calm. I would get her over Sam, I wouldn't let her hurt anymore. I certaintly wasn't going to hurt her.

Finally, I heard the priest say something about the rings and I just nodded to him. We didn't have them, yet, but I would be in charge, as would Leah, of bringing the rings up to them tomorrow. The fake ceremony continued on and it was over pretty fast, honestly. They lit a candle in the background after they said their vows and they were instructed to kiss, but held off on that until tomorrow. I was grateful they wouldn't put Leah through more than she had to be. Then, the music was put on for the recession and we all started our exit awkwardly.

I was glad when it was my turn to step down because my arm reunited with Leah's, linked together, as we pretended to exit the church, dispersing on the other end of the aisle, before the doors.

**Leah's point of view**

I watched Sam and Emily come down the aisle at the end of us all and I felt my bottom lip quiver. I blinked back the tears, though and tried to keep my expression neutral. Jacob came over to me and took my hand in his and I smiled up at him. I didn't know why he made me feel so vulnerable, yet safe, too. I guess it was where he had been through this before; the one he loved had gotten married to someone else.

"You did amazing," Jake breathed. "Really, Lee. Tomorrow will be a breeze and I'm only right across the aisle from you, so all you have to do is look over to me, and I promise everything will be okay."

I nodded, "Thank-you, Jake." I whispered the words before leaning up and kissing his cheek. He made me feel safe and although I knew the pain the wedding would put me through tomorrow, it would still just be closure. There was still a part of me that wished I was the one marrying Sam, but then I look to Jacob and I realize that that isn't my future, just like I wasn't Sam's. Emily was his and I held out hope that Jacob was mine. The elders had told him that they think we had a special connection so that's got to count for something, right? After tomorrow I hoped I went away from the wedding with a realization that Sam and I were over forever and as much as the thought pained me, I would happy to get rid of the false hope that I had every day until then that he would leave Emily and come back. Or Emily would leave him and come back to me. Although, I knew I wouldn't ever accept Emily back, and she knew that, too. It was mean, yes, considering it took the two of them to do this, and I would take Sam back and not Emily, but Emily owed me more; she had been family and a best friend and regardless, I still felt betrayed by her.

But I had Jacob, now, I told myself.

Emily dismissed us all, telling us she would see us at 2 o'clock the next day and Jacob led me from the church before we heard Sam's voice.

"Leah," he called, running over. "Wait, can we talk for a second?"

I looked to Jacob before releasing his hand, and walked over to where Sam stood. "Yeah?" I asked patiently, trying to stay in control of my emotions.

"I know tomorrow's not going to be easy for you. I want you to know that before I... changed, I envisioned this day with you. I know I shouldn't be saying that because it will only hurt more, but I want you to know what we had was real, and no matter what, I'm always here for you. If Jacob hurts you... If he hurts you like I did..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "You deserve to be happy and I know after all the months you've seen me and Emily together, me being upset seeing you with Jacob doesn't really hold much water, but I do want the best for you no matter how awkward it is seeing you with someone else. Even after all this time. I guess I got used to you just being there."

I gave him a small smile, trying to keep things short and sweet. "Thank you, Sam. I hope you're happy," I said before forcing a small smile and walking back over to Jacob; where I was supposed to be.

_I want you to know that before I... changed, I envisioned this day with you._

No matter what, I knew those words would sit with me even on my death bed. 

*** * ***

Morning came faster than I had anticipated. Jacob stayed at his house, with Billy to give him a ride to the ceremony last night and I hadn't gotten very much sleep.

"Leah?" My mom called before entering my bedroom. I was up and showered, but lounging around in my sweat pants and a baggy T-shirt. "You have to get ready, sweetheart, the wedding's in two hours."

I cringed. "Can I just not go? Please mom, I can't do this. It's the principal of it. I don't want to be apart of this; something I don't endorse."

She frowned and I saw Jacob enter behind her, holding a boquet of flowers. "Come on, Lee," He breathed, coming over, placing a kiss on my forehead and the flowers in my hands. "Get dressed and I promise everything will be okay."

**Authors Note: So sorry for how long it's taken this chapter! I've been trying to find the right path to take with the wedding, if Leah would actually go, if she'd back out, or if she would just run screaming from the church, ahaha, well, maybe not that last one, but! I would really appreciate hearing what you guys think the wedding should be like so it will inspire me to get writing and figure out which direction to take the ceremony. I already have the reception written, oddly enough, haha, so the sooner I get ideas for the ceremony, (if you just want a normal one, or drama, say that in your review!) then I can fix up the reception chapter and voila! So let me know your thoughts and ideas pretty please! (: **


	14. I Can't Do This

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded  
Chapter Fourteen**

**Authors Note: Okay so I just uploaded the fifteenth chapter into my doc manager and then realized when I tried to upload it that I had the fourteenth chapter uploaded into the manager but never posted it into the story! Whoops! So, if you guys like this chapter and review, then the fifteenth chapter(considering it's done and ready to be uploaded) will be posted tomorrow! But how quick it goes up depends on your reviews! (;  
**

Leah's point of view

"You look beautiful," Jacob said softly, placing the flowers he brought me in a vase before we left the house. I gave him a small smile, and I knew he understood what today was going to be like for me.

I wore the stupid dress Emily had picked out for all of us, and my make-up was done with a dramatic flare. I figured maybe if I wore enough make-up I would think twice before breaking down into a sob-fest. My eyes were rimmed with deep, black eyeliner complimented by red lipstick. I wore my hair down straight, like normal. I wasn't putting too much effort in.

Seth got into the back of the car, and my mom rode with us as well. I gave Jake a small smile and let him intertwine our fingers together as we drove the rest of the way to the church in silence. Once we got there, my mom and I got out and she came over to me, taking my hands in hers. She spoke silently to me, barely louder than a whisper and I took a deep breath in.

"I love you, baby. You're so strong and I know you don't want to do this, but with Jacob you seem happier. This is closure. I know it hurts and it doesn't seem fair and if you want to turn around right now and go home, I'll support you in that, too. I want you to know that. I won't force you to go in there. I think it would be beneficial to you, to get the last bit of closure you need, but if you aren't ready to accept it yet, I'll ask Jacob to bring you home."

"I'm a Clearwater," I said softly. "We don't go back on our word."

My mom smiled gingerly. "You're strong, Leah. You can do this, no problem."

Jacob came over and took my hand in his and a tall man in a suit emerged from the church doors. Charlie. I was a little surprised to see him there considering his daughters history with Jacob and the leeches, but he greeted Jacob, Seth and I with a friendly, half-awkward wave before walking over to stand by my mother. I wasn't too sure how I felt about their new found friendship.

"Hey, Sue," he said happily. "It's good that it's not raining yet today," he looked to the sky. "Well, not yet at least."

My mom laughed accordingly and nodded. "Yes, it's a lovely morning. How is Bella doing?"

Charlie shrugged. "She's good. Her and Edward have their own little... cottage type thing," he said disapprovingly. "But they're married now, so what can I do."

Sue smiled. "It's hard to let go, but it's for the best."

He nodded and they continued to talk while Jacob and I headed inside. I didn't want them to have romantic feelings toward one another. I didn't want mom to try and replace dad. I knew that wasn't really what she was doing, but I couldn't help but to be resentful. Not to mention the fact that Charlie's daughter was the same annoying, - now leech - who tortured Jacob and someone I didn't like very much. New sister in the future? I think not considering I bitched her out once upon a star.

"It seems like they really like each other," Jacob commented as he pushed the two large double doors open.

"A little too much, maybe?"

Jacob looked over and chuckled. "Not too fond of having a leech sister, are we?"

I cringed. "Definitely not." I looked up to him and smirked though. "Only fate would make someone I hate and someone you used to be infatuated with my new sister considering we're together now, huh?"

He chuckled. "I don't see Sue getting married again, Lee. Maybe a family dinner here and there, but other than that I don't think you'll have to see Bella too too much."

"Good," I said softly as Jacob pushed the large double doors open and we entered the small porch area of the church. I was slightly thankful that Emily hadn't had a beach wedding because I always claimed that as mine when we were little kids, dreaming about this day. It was my man and my life, there were still things I wanted to keep as mine, this was where I grew up.

We hung our jackets up on the coat hangers and I stepped into my heels instead of my short boots for the outside weather. I took a deep breath in, looking over to Jacob in his suit as he took off his overcoat. I could tell he must be warm in it, and I kind of pictured the guys being in cut-off dress pants and tank-top white shirts with ties for my own amusement, but I couldn't deny that Jacob looked... Well, sexy. Heat flushed into my cheeks, and for a moment, I forgot why he was wearing it, or where we were and I leaned in, kissing him.

"What was that for?" He asked playfully.

"You look good in a suit," I whispered softly, against his lips.

"Why thank you Ms. Clearwater, you don't look too bad yourself," he winked before wrapping his arm around my waist. "I'm going to go find the room the guys are in and you go find the girls, okay? We'll meet up before the ceremony."

I nodded and we entered the church, seeing all the decorations in place from the night before. Jacob went right and I went left. "Stay strong," he whispered in my ear before disappearing through another set of doors, to a corridor with rooms attached. I went to the other side of the church, doing the same, finding myself in a long hallway. By the noise coming from the last room, I assumed that the female wedding party was in there and I opened the door slowly before stepping in.

What I saw, I wasn't ready for. All the girls were there and once I stepped in, Rachel and Rebecca caught my eye and gave me a sad smile. Emily was in a chair in front of a large vanity, curls cascading down mid-chest and her make up covering up the deep imprint of her scars so they were hardly noticeable. She had long, eyelashes with mascara deepening her brown eyes, making them sparkle, or maybe that was just the nervous tears in her eyes. She had on a nude lipstick and airbrushing powder and she turned when the door opened and once I dropped the twins gaze, our eyes met.

I felt myself choke up, and I closed the door behind me. My make up looked eccentric. Still beautiful, but edgy. She looked like a princess, and she wasn't even in her dress yet. She wore sweat pants and a tank top and gave me a small smile.

"Hey Leah," she breathed.

The girls all looked stunning, the bridesmaid dresses matching, the mother of the bride looking beautiful in a longer dress the same color as ours and then I saw Sam's mom. She understood his destiny was with Emily but I was told by my mother that Allison, Sam's mom, had really wanted Sam and I to stay together.

"Hey," I said gently. "You look... You look great," I struggled, dropping my gaze from her.

"Thank-you," she breathed, biting her lower lip. "You're gorgeous, Lee."

It was awkward and I just gave her a nod of thanks before I walked over to Allison, Rachel and Rebecca who were in the back corner talking.

"Hey Leah," Rebecca said gently. "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged, "Fine. Jacob's gone over with Sam and the guys so."

Allison reached over and pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, dear," she whispered. "I want you to know that Sam thinks the world of you still. I know things didn't turn out the way either of you had intended, but I'm glad you have Jacob. He's a good boy. Or well, young man now, huh?" She laughed softly. "You've all grown up so fast you know," she shook her head. "But I'm so glad you have Jacob. I know today won't be easy for you, but you have a lot of support, darling."

I gave his mom a small smile and fought to keep my eyes from welling up. I wouldn't cry, not today. Not in front of Emily or Sam. "Thank you," I whispered softly before she kissed my forehead and my own mother entered the room, congratulated Emily and then came over with us.

"Hey Lee, how are you?"

"Stop asking," I said softly. "Please, I'm fine."

I was getting so tired of being the fragile little thing everyone thought would break into a million pieces. Mom didn't take my words to heart, though, she knew I was just stressed out and nodded before divulging into some conversation with Allison. I veered away from conversation and was in my own little world, trying to picture being on a warm beach somewhere, away from all of this, when Emily's mom spoke up.

"Time to put the dress on," she said excitedly.

Everyone turned while she brought out the dress to a waiting Emily, and unzipped the protective cloth over it, revealing this beautiful ball gown that looked like it was taken right from Cinderella. This was the dress I avoided seeing at the fitting. That dress should be mine. Sam always said he wanted me in a loose-fitting dress, though. One that showed off my curves and still looked elegant. I frowned, feeling a lump in my throat and I got up, going into the attached bathroom.

"Get it together, Leah," I muttered to myself, taking deep breaths in after locking the door behind me.

I felt the same way I did at the fitting; it was so, so hard to see Emily radiating joy. How could Sam be so happy when I was so miserable sometimes? We used to be two halves of a whole and although he imprinted, I still didn't understand how he could have completely written me off like we never ever had anything. We had something more real than this stupid imprint; ours was a choice. We chose to be together. Emily was chosen to be with him. He wanted to be with me, he had no choice to be with Emily. Or at least, that's what the legends said. Regardless, how could he feel so blessed when I was so lost? Even with Jacob... My heart still had a piece for Sam Uley. I hated it so, so much, and I couldn't shake it, even after everything that had gone on the past few weeks. I missed him just being there; as a friend. Someone I could go to when I had my back in a corner.

No one knocked on the door, and finally, when I collected myself enough to leave the bathroom, I knew I was going to leave the room, too. This wasn't right. When I emerged, Emily was in front of the mirror, the dress tight in the belly, but altered to fit it, and flowing out from her hips. They were putting her veil on and I felt a huge stab of jealousy before quietly slipping out of the room, going down to the end of the hall and slipping out the emergency exit.

I gripped the metal bar before me tightly, inhaling the fresh air. I was stupid to think I could do this without being shaken up at all.

"Leah?" Sam's voice rung behind me.

I turned, tears glazing my eyes. "What are you doing out here?"

"I needed some fresh air," he said, frowning. "Nerves I guess. You okay?"

"I can't do this, Sam. I can't be her maid of honour. I'm sorry. I'll give the dress to her sister, but I can't wear it, it's not right. Someone close to her should be up there, not me. I can't be happy for her like her maid of honor should be."

Sam took my words into consideration. "If you feel that way there's nothing I can say," he said softly, reaching out and wiping the tear from my cheek. "Want me to get Jacob?"

"Yes," I said immediately. I wanted Jacob, not Sam.

He nodded, giving me an apologetic smile. "I'll get him to tell Emily you can't do it, okay? You're positive?"

I nodded, "It's not right. I shouldn't be up there."

**Authors note:  
Okay, so the wedding will definitely be in the next chapter but I figured this was long enough for now, and I really wanted to get an update out. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have a nice chunk of the wedding written! Don't forget to review, and I hope you liked the chapter. **  
**  
- Dramaticfield**


	15. The Wedding

**Wounded; Chapter Fifteen**

**Disclaimer****: The vows and ceremonial speech(es) in this chapter were taken off of a website from a sample and were not written by me.**

**Leah's point of view  
**

"_Emily, repeat after me, I, Emily Young, take you, Samuel Uley, to be my lawfully wedded husband."_

"I, Emily Young, take you, Samuel Uley, to be my lawfully wedded husband," she said strongly, her confidence and love for the man before her shining through, lighting up the whole church.

"Sam," the elder said. "Repeat after me, I, Samuel Uley, take you, Emily Young, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

I froze, not wanting him to say that; not wanting to hear it. "I, Samuel Uley take you, Leah Cl-"

Silence. Everyone was in shock. Everyone turned to look at me. Emily didn't look happy anymore... She started crying and left him at the alter.

* * *

My day dream ended there, once I heard Jacob enter the small field of the church, right before the emergency exit. I was laid down on the dry grass, on my back, eyes closed. I had that dream a lot, honestly. It seemed even by subconscious had a way of making fun of me."Sam told me and I let Emily know," Jacob said gently, emerging from the emergency exit. "You okay?"

I nodded, having changed into a short, orange dress that Rebecca had worn to the church before changing into her bridesmaid dress. Sam gave it to me to change into before I gave him the maid of honour dress for Jacob to give to her sister. The dress stopped just below my butt and had thick shoulder straps with a zipper in the back. I turned around for Jacob to do it up for me. The material was like you took scissors and started cutting shapes out of it, and it was edgy, but cute, an under layer of fabric preventing anything from showing through. It was form fitting and the material felt nice and unrestricted like the other dress had. It was a lot less warm, too, I noticed.

I walked up to where Jacob stood. "I'm fine," I said softly. "Overwhelmed. When I saw her in the dress... But I knew then that there was no way I can do this. I'll sit with mom and Seth in the back and find you after the wedding, okay?"

He nodded. "They're getting beach pictures after, so meet me down there. I'll have to get in some but once I'm done there we're going to go talk for a bit before the reception okay?"

I nodded. "Is anything wrong?"

"No," he said softly, kissing my forehead, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I'm proud of you for telling Sam you can't do it, Lee. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. I just thought I could take your mind off of Sam for a while before the reception, that's all."

I gave him a small smile. "That sounds nice."

"Good, now I have to get back in there, but everyone's taking their seats in a few minutes so you should go find your mom and Seth. She went to get him, actually, when I went in to tell Emily."

"What did she say?"

"She was disappointed; she said she always envisioned this day a lot differently, and she was sorry but she understood that what you and her had is over and there's no way it will be mended."

I nodded, and actually smiled. "I'm glad she's realized that. I would imagine now that means she'll keep her distance."

Jacob gave me a small smile and leaned down, kissing my lips. "They'll both give us lots of space now that they'll be on their honeymoon. Sam's leaving me in charge when he leaves and when they get back I assure you that things will be a whole lot easier."

I nodded, believing his words as we entered back into the church hall and he led me passed Emily's room, down into the main chapel. There were a nice few people already there – Family, friends, people from the Makah reservation. I saw mom and Seth sat in the back pew, and Jacob kissed my hair before he walked me over to them, and then left to go back to Sam's room.

I slid in between mom and Seth and she placed her hand on my knee. "You did the right thing," she whispered to me, kissing my forehead. I nodded and Seth gave him a small smile before turning his attention back up front.

I focused on the flowers up front, around the alter and counted how many different shades of pink and orange there was until the ceremony started. Everyone had been chatting until the elder took his place on the alter and then the groomsmen – Jacob, Paul, Jared and Embry entered with Sam at the front. His tux fit him well, forming to his shape and it looked really light and movable. I could tell by his face that he was nervous, but he was happy, too and I frowned, taking my eyes off of him and moving them to Jacob.

Then, the wedding music started playing and the doors opened from the back. The first to exit was Kim, flowers in hand, eyes on Jared, followed by Rachel and then, Claire and Quil. As funny as it was to see Quil as the ring bearer, neither Sam or Emily had any young male relatives and Quil had imprinted on Claire, so why not, right? It was still hilarious to me, but whatever. Quil just had a hand on Claire's back, guiding her down so she stayed on track, throwing her little flower pedals everywhere with a huge smile on her face. She was obviously adorable and loveable. Finally, before Emily, came Grace, and then, 'Here Comes The Bride' started playing and Emily's father starting walking her down the aisle. I looked away, up at the guys. Everyone always looked at the bride when she entered, but I wanted to look at Sam's face. I wasn't sure which sight was more sickening and yet, beautiful. They were both in awe and the happiness was radiating off of them and I was happy for them, honestly, but I was sad, too. I watched as Emily walked down, taking her place at the alter, joining hands with Sam, as her dad gave her away. Her bridesmaids to her right and the groomsmen – including Quil, to her left. We all sat down – Though I hadn't stood up to begin with.

I couldn't help but to also be envious that my father would never be able to walk me down the aisle, if I ever got that far.

"Dear family and friends," the elder started. "We are all here today for the union of Samuel Uley and Emily Young. Since time immemorial, people have performed ceremonies to mark a transition, a change of status. Today we gather for the happiest of ceremonies – the change of status from single individuals to a married couple. Traditionally, that change is indicated by passing the brides hand from her family to her husband-to-be. Who brings this bride to be married today?

Today is the day that Samuel and Emily will formally and publicly make their promises to one another. Although this is indeed a high point, marriage is a journey not a destination. Marriage is more than any one single event or promise. It is a series of decisions that have been made, and will continue to be made over and over again, every day, that shows each of their care and concern for the one whom they each love most in the world.  
Marriage is a promise that is renewed daily through a couples actions and a responsibility taken on in the spirit of faith, and hope, and love, that brings comfort in times of sadness and heightens our greatest joy.

Sam and Emily, may the promises you make this day live always in your hearts and in your home so that all which you share now deepen and grow through the years, leading you through a lifetime of happiness. A wedding is more than a celebration of the Love which lives in our Bride and Groom's hearts today. It reaches into the future and proclaims their intentions for that which tomorrow shall hold. A couple who wed are joined not only by the mutual affection and love they share, but also by their hopes, dreams and by their promises of what will be... The promises and vows they make this day shall guide them into their common future. I will ask you now if you are prepared to make these promises."

I tried tuning it out but the microphone that was up front projected the sound all around the room, to every corner through the speakers. I gulped. This was it. Right now, there was no going back. But there never had been any going back. I looked at Emily's stomach. A baby was much more of a commitment than marriage and the imprint Sam had on Emily had marked them for this the very first time he laid eyes on her. There would never have been any other ending. Even if he and I had been engaged, as soon as he met my maid of honour –Emily, he would have ended it. This was inevitable. I met Jacob's eyes and gave him a small smile and he returned it, giving me a wink. I grinned, pushing the bad thoughts aside. I had a future with Jacob, I could feel it burning through my veins. If imprinting was to make a wolf stronger, than he was definitely my mate in some way or another. He made me stronger.

"Do you, Emily, take Sam to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?"

Emily beamed up at Sam and nodded. "I do."

I gulped the lump in my throat back and fought the urge to roll my eyes. Was this even necessary?

"Do you, Sam, take Emily to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?"

This was the worst part. My mom took my hand as a tear ran down my cheek and Seth just placed a hand on my knee. I could see the tears in the newlyweds eyes, too, but they held them back. They were happy tears.

"I do."

His voice rung out in the whole chapel and it was as though they were so much stronger and more prominent than Emily's. Really, it was just because they hit me like a ton of bricks, but I wiped the tears off my cheeks and stopped crying. This was it. There was no more pining over him; a married man. I couldn't be doing this to either of us. It was wrong on so many levels and I actually _wanted _to be over Sam Uley. I wanted to be able to look at him and remember our good times together but not be hit with anything bad or be angry or upset. I had to deal with him in the pack either way and I was going to make sure by the time he arrived home from his honeymoon that I was able to look at him, tell him I was happy for him, and move on with my life happy as well. I took a deep breath in and the elder nodded, Quil walking up to the happy couple, giving them the rings.

Sam started, "I, take you, Emily Young, to be my wife and pledge my love to you forever." He slid the ring on her finger, and Emily repeated the words, subbing in his name for hers and slipping his ring on his finger.

"Samuel Uley and Emily Young, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, by the authority vested in me by the State of Washington, I now declare you to be Husband and Wife. Congratulations, you may kiss your bride."

I watched as Sam leaned down, pressing his lips gently to his new brides. It still should have been me. Did his words to me mean that although he was kissing Emily, he still loved me? Did he picture it as me? Deep down I knew the answer but I still repeated his words in my head: _I want you to know that before I... changed, I envisioned this day with you._

Finally, the kiss ended. It felt like a lifetime and then, after signing the marriage license, Jared took Kim and Paul took Rachel and they walked out together, down the aisle, followed by Quil and Claire and then Jacob and Grace. The happy couple was last to exit and then finally, we all got up and could leave.

I took Seth's hand unknowingly and he squeezed it, my mom kissing my forehead before going to find Charlie who sat with Billy. Seth and I exited the church and he kept hold of my hand tightly; encouragingly but I felt stronger than I had in a long time.

There was a lot of commotion then, everyone floating down to the beach for pictures and to watch them take pictures. It wasn't raining yet, but I could tell they didn't have long to snap a few shots before it started to pour. Jacob caught my hand outside the church and we started walking down to the beach.

"I love you, Lee," he whispered, kissing my cheek.

I looked up to him and smiled. "I love you, too. You looked good up there."

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "You're beautiful."

That was all we said before we got to the beach a few minutes later. Jacob joined Emily and Sam for a few pictures and I sat on a nearby log. I didn't want them to have any memories with me today.

"Leah," I heard Sam yell. "Come over."

I looked up from playing with the bottom of the dress and was about to protest, but Emily wasn't in the picture; it was just the pack, by the looks of it. I sighed and got up, going over between Jacob and Seth. He took a couple pictures, and then it was over. Of course, I thought, the fastest one in the pack _had _to be in the picture.

A couple hours later, once everyone got to change into something more comfortable and fix their hair and make-up (which I gladly opted out of) we all ended up at the reception Hall just a couple minutes into Port Angeles. I was glad they stayed away from the beach; somewhere I had to revisit everyday. When we all walked in we saw the large head table, surely with more seats than they had people in the wedding party.

"Sam said even though you chose not to be in the wedding party for you to sit up there with me," he said gently. "Same with Grace's husband where he wasn't in the wedding party, but Grace and Clarie were."

"Lovely," I said softly, sighing.

"We don't have to," Jake pointed out. "He wants all the pack up there, actually, but either way we can just sit with our parents."

I shrugged, "Naw, may as well not stick out like sore thumbs, I guess. The worst part's over."

Jacob kissed my forehead wordlessly and brought me over to sit on the side extension they had connected to the head table. There were a few seats going across the table facing the others, for Emily and Sam and their parents I assumed and then there were two larger tables connected to that one vertically, on a slight diagonal so we could see out. I opted to sit on the right side of the table next to Paul and Rachel, Jacob on my other side next to Jared and Kim. "Hey Lee," Rachel said gently, reaching over and hugging me awkwardly considering the way we were faced. "You okay?"

We pulled apart and Jacob took my free hand. I looked over to him before I answered. "Yes, I am." I wasn't lying. "I'm happier with Jacob than I have been in a long time and I think today's the last step in being able to move on with my life."

Jacob smiled, kissing my cheek.

Rachel giggled. "Now Jakie," she teased. "Be good."

Jacob chuckled, "Yes much older, wiser sister."

Rebecca walked over, leaning on the opposite side of the table. "Hey guys."

"Hey sis," Rach said happily. "I'm actually starving so hopefully everyone gets here soon."

"Speak for yourself," Paul groaned. "I'm going to drop dead if I don't get some grub soon."

"Sam didn't eat all morning," Jared contributed. "Too nervous, apparently. They're probably feeding him through a tube before he gets here to get some food into him before he passes out."

The guys chuckled but I just ignored them.

"So Lee," Rebecca said. "You and Jacob going to tear up the floor tonight?"

"I wouldn't worry too much about the _floor_," Embry smirked, implying something sexual.

I raised a brow and the twins cringed. "Enough," Rachel groaned.

Jacob looked over to Embry and gave him a death-glare and when he turned back, I gave him a confused look. He didn't answer it, though.

"Jacob and Leah," Jared mused. "Who would've thunk."

Paul chortled. "Least she won't change into a leech, I guess."

Jacob sighed at the mention of Bella. "Whatever, dude."

"What is Embry talking about?" I asked, my voice low.

Jacob sighed. "That time when we... fooled around," he whispered, only loud enough for me to hear. "I had to patrol in the morning with him and..."

His thoughts 'slipped' again. "Jacob," I scolded him, groaning. "Can't you control yourself for two minutes?"

My voice wasn't necessarily classified as a whisper, no. Anyone around us could hear and that just egged the guys on more. "Poor Jake's too eager," Jared joked, earning a smack on the arm from Kim.

Jacob frowned, "Leah, I'm sorry but can we not talk about this right now?" He asked, his voice hushed.

I sighed but nodded unhappily. I didn't want my personal life on display for all of the guys to see. They had already saw too much through Jacob's head and I frowned. I didn't want them to see those private moments. They were mine and Jacob's only. I didn't want another reason for the guys to give me Hell.

"What about you guys," said Jacob. "I'm assuming none of you are getting a room after the wedding, huh?" His words were slightly bitter but he didn't realize that romantic matters were much more of an open playing field between the other guys. No details or anything, but jokes were very welcome. They were all imprinted so boasting about their relationships wouldn't leave them looking like a fool afterwards if things didn't work out. Not like our relationship.

Jared chuckled, "You know it." Kim sighed and looked to Rachel and Rebecca and then me. That was as much of a signal that any of us needed to get up and let the guys have their fun alone, despite my temporary anger at Jacob. I knew he was sorry and hadn't meant to, but that wasn't the point.

"So you and Jacob are more than 'undefined' now, huh?" Kim asked innocently.

I sighed, knowing his two sisters were right next to us. That was probably the only downfall of my new close friends. I wouldn't want to hear about Seth and his girlfriend in extensive detail so I was stuck with Kim on the odd chance I did want to talk about Jacob and I in more than a friendly way. It would probably be a long time until I was ready to do that, but I was glad I knew I had someone if I felt the need. "I guess so," I admitted.

Although neither of us had mentioned it, I was sneaky and I managed to get us a hotel room for that night. Jacob didn't know yet, but I was ready. I wanted him in every way. I loved him and my dependance on him showed that there was no one I could picture myself with besides him, the past forgotten momentarily. It was nice to pretend that there was nothing wrong with our love even though it could be shattered at any moment, any day, if one of us were to imprint. I really, really hoped it never would happen but I knew it was always looming in the back of both of our minds.

"So things are getting serious?" Rebecca asked curiously.

I hesitated before nodding, my own smile on my lips. "Yeah."

"How serious?" Kim asked happily.

I shrugged, "You know."

Rachel squealed. "Leah! That's my brother!" Of course she was just teasing and I laughed along with the other girls.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's still as innocent as you've always known him."

"For now," Kim added, smirking.

We all laughed and continued carrying on, as though we were all a group of happy girls with wonderful, perfect love lives. It was true for the majority, and I knew that for now, Jacob and I's relationship was just as good as an imprint. No, it was better. I didn't want to love someone because I had to.

"I think everyone's getting ready for the entrance," Rachel said after a few long minutes. Everyone was sat down and we managed to work our way back to the head table.

I slipped in beside Jacob again and I reached into the small handbag I had with me. I took the hotel key out and passed it to him. I looked at him from beneath my lashes and it took Jacob a second of studying the cold metal to realize what it meant.

"Leah..." He looked up to me and then reached over, taking my hand. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, words escaping me.

Jacob opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. A boyish grin was playing on his lips and he kissed my cheek. It made me remember the time before he had his heartbroken; his carefree, happy attitude toward life. Since Bella, things had hardened him but he was only a better person for it. "I love you, Lee. I want to ask you something later, okay?"

I nodded, "I love you, too, and okay. About?"

"Nothing bad," he confirmed just as Emily and Sam's entrance was announced.

**Authors note: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one's in progress and I hope to have it out asap! The next update I'll make, though will probably be Landslide so if you guys haven't checked it out yet, you should! It's another Blackwater but with the complication of Jacob's imprint! Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! (: Oh, by the way, in your review let me know if you want the next chapter with details - the hotel room, etc, if not I'll just innocently skim through!  
-Dramaticfield**


	16. Reception

**Wounded **

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Leah's point of view  
**

The meal was ordinary, nothing spectacular. Everyone sat around talking and laughing and honestly, considering I was at a table with my friends, I was able to ignore the painfully obvious newlyweds. I was off in my own little world and no one around us mentioned them, only chatting amongst ourselves and laughing at inside jokes and old stories.

We were all stood around, now. Sam and Emily were making their rounds, thanking everyone for being there, all that necessary bullshit, but I stuck with our small group of friends, including Jacob off to ourselves by the wall. The tables were being moved around to make a large dance-floor and some tables were taken out all together. The head table stayed where it was, though, and I held a cooler in my hand, sipping on it.

Jacob pulled me away from the others, not having a chance to really talk about it alone until we finished eating. "Lee," he breathed, holding both of my hands in his. "Are you sure you're ready? I mean... I know the wedding was hard on you and I don't want you making any rash decisions and-"

He was rambling and I put a finger to his lips, shushing him. "I decided not to be in the wedding party for two reasons. One, I didn't want to be and two, I couldn't go up there and stand by her like we're the best friends everyone assumes a bride and maid of honor are. I couldn't lie to myself like that, it wasn't fair for me to be there. I didn't back out because it was hard, even though it was. People don't leave because things are hard, they leave because it's not worth it. Being up there in the wedding party wasn't worth it to me. Emily and Sam will look back on those pictures and Emily will know that her maid of honor wasn't someone she still talks to. Sam will see his ex-girlfriend. It's not fair to any of us and I knew her sister deserved to be up there."

Jacob smiled a boyish grin and nodded, "You're really mature, Lee. You may seem like your spinning out of control sometimes, but I think you have a much more realistic grip on life than a lot of people twice your age."

I leaned up, brushing my lips to his. "Thank-you."

He nodded and placed his hands on my lower back, pulling me closer and kissing me a little too passionately for public. I returned the display of affection, though, and I wanted to continue kissing him forever until I heard someone clear their voice; Seth. I jolted back from Jake and he took his hands off of me.

"Mom wants to know if you're coming home tonight," he said awkwardly.

"Tell her I'm not."

He nodded and Jacob walked over to him, "Let's go find with guys, kay kiddo?"

Seth looked up to Jacob a lot and I didn't want his vision of Jacob tainted because we were dating. My brother just nodded and Jacob gave me a parting look before he and Seth walked over to the other side of the room where all of the guys were standing. I went back over with the girls, and finally the DJ setting up in the back of the room was done and came over the speakers.

"Hey everyone, I want to congratulate the newlyweds Sam and Emily. Tonight if you have any requests, don't be shy and right now I invite the best man up to say a few words."

Jacob walked up front. The speeches weren't supposed to be formal. It was decided that even when I was in the wedding party, Emily's sister would do it, so I was off the hook either way. "Well, where can I start?" He asked, smiling. I knew that despite his dislike for the things Sam and Emily did to me, he did love them both. "I'm really happy for you guys. You hit it off from the start and I know you're going to have a long, happy marriage. I don't want to keep you here all night, so I'll keep it short and sweet, but once Sam got with Emily we could all see how happy it was. Despite the hard patches along the way, I'm glad we're all here today to be able to celebrate your new status. It gives me pleasure to invite you all to raise your glasses for Sam and Emily. Thank you." He came down, hugged the couple and then went off to the side with Embry, Seth and Quil.

Short and sweet. I smiled and then, it was Grace's turn.

"When Emily told me I was going to be making a toast – Told, not asked, I thought it was her way of getting back at me for anything I had ever done to her while growing up. On behalf of our family, I thank you all for coming out to celebrate their new union." She paused and looked to Emily and Sam. "As sister of the bride, I have a unique view of Emily. She was the little sister I had always wanted. She was a happy, precocious child... whose middle name was mischief. I remember her ability to get into all sorts of trouble and then win our parents over so she didn't get punished. One of my favorite memories of her childhood was her grinning while dancing on top of our family's picnic table in a pile of snow. Emily has grown into a beautiful woman. She is no longer my little sister, but a graceful, smart, generous, caring equal. It is an honor to know the person she has become. She has a heart the size of New York and an innate sense of good that she is willing to stand behind. And she loves a challenge... and this is where Sam comes in. Sam, you are one lucky guy! So Sam, here's some advice for the future: She is always right, she always needs some new clothes, she looks good in anything, and if she's right say so, and if she isn't -say nothing! I think you all will join me in this wish: Emily. Sam. May you live forever in love, and may love live forever in you."

The crowd laughed among their selves and when Grace came down, she hugged both Emily and Sam like Jake had. Emily was crying, of course. Then, Sam's mom and Emily's parents got up to give the 'welcome to the family' speech. I knew Sam's mom always pictured her toasting him and I, but all three adults gave a sweet, yet funny speech that I mostly tuned out of. I was tired of the sentimental stuff. I wanted to dance with the girls and have a few drinks, then leave with Jacob. It was exciting to know after tonight Sam and Emily would be gone for a few weeks and that meant Jacob was in charge. Ahh, peace and quiet.

"Now it's time for the bride and grooms first dance," the DJ said, clicking around on his laptop.

I frowned, and Rebecca took my hand. Even if I was happy with Jacob, the way Sam looked at Emily always made me angry. However, as they took the middle of the newly formed dance floor, everyone stood around the outskirts or sat in the remaining tables, I sighed. I had lost two people who I had cared a lot for. It was sad, actually. They had both been my best friends for years. I should be happy for them. God, I knew it. I desperately wanted to watch them dance with a smile on my face and be happy that they found each other because they both deserved that. But I couldn't. I would never be able to.

"I love you being with my brother," Rebecca said wistfully, shaking her head. "But I always thought that this would be your day..."

Rachel nodded, hearing her sisters words. "We all did. As much as I like how things are right now... It's so much different here in La Push since when we left, huh sis?"

Rebecca nodded. "For sure. I never thought some people would end up the way they have. Especially Jacob, honestly."

Focusing on the conversation allowed me to forget about Sam and Emily for a short while. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Rachel said, sharing a look with his sister. "Aside from the fact that we thought you'd be always taken by Sam, we never really saw Jacob falling in love so... Well, young. He's not a child, no, but he's just always going to be our little brother and it's weird seeing him serious with someone."

I nodded, understanding considering if it was Seth, I would find it weird, too.

"Don't corrupt my brother, Leah," Rebecca teased.

I was four years older than Jacob, though most of the time I hardly noticed that there was an age difference at all. I was twenty-three and Jacob was nineteen. When you had to change into a huge wolf, though to protect your family and tribe, there wasn't much room left to be a kid anymore, therefore Jacob was technically much older than the years had pinned him.

"I don't promise anything," I joked back, the girls laughing.

Finally, I looked back to the dance floor and Sam kissed Emily softly as the song ended.

"Now for the wedding party," The DJ said before playing Amazed by Lonestar.

I sighed, staying by Rebecca as Rachel joined Paul on the floor. Suddenly, though, Jacob came over and took my hand from behind and pulled me out onto the floor.

"Jake, no," I protested, pulling my hand from his own.

He sighed. "Come on, Lee. Dance with me?"

His puppy dog eyes were a far cry from fake pouting. They held amusement and enthusiasm and I gave in, taking his hand back before he pulled me close to him and laid his hands on my lower back. We were surrounded by the entire pack, Sam and Emily included and the music was soft and sweet, the lyrics and the beat making it easy to sway back and forth. Part of me didn't want to be included in any wedding festivities but being close to Jacob was always welcome.

Jacob was a good dancer. A really good dancer, but he slowed down to my somewhat awkward rhythm and placed his forehead against mine. "You're beautiful," he breathed softly.

I smiled up to him, despite everything going on around me celebrating Sam and Emily. "You're not too bad yourself."

I took Jacob in with my eyes again. He had taken off the heavy blazer and looked comfortable in a white button up shirt with a pair of black dress pants. He had the first two buttons undone and I managed to drink him in with my eyes, even from our close proximity.

"Are you checking me out, Leah?" Jacob asked, having stood back up, straight, looking down at me from his long lashes.

I laughed, "You wish, Black."

"Denial," he breathed cockily.

We both laughed and the rest of the song, our bodies tight together, we swayed back and forth, in sync. As soon as I started getting a feel for the song, though, it ended, and I was kind of glad. Jacob took my hand and led me back over to the sidelines.

"Thank you, Ms. Clearwater," Jacob said, bowing foolishly and kissing my hand.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Always a pleasure," I teased back, Rebecca watching us admiringly.

"I'll be right back," Jacob said, kissing my cheek before disappearing in the crowd of bodies around.

"You guys are pretty much adorable," Kim said, coming off the dance floor as well. "I've never seen him so happy." She paused, "Or you. At least in a long time."

I nodded, a smile appearing on my lips. The father-daughter dance was next and I watched Emily and her dad on the floor with nothing but envy. Daughters by John Mayer was playing through the speakers and I felt myself get choked up. Even if by chance I did fluke into marriage, my dad would never be able to walk me up the aisle and give me away. He would never dance with me at my reception and he wouldn't kiss my on the cheek and tell my new husband to treat his baby girl right. My hands were trembling and I couldn't bring myself to smile at how Emily and her dad – My uncle, swayed on the dance floor and laughed at whatever the other one was whispering in their ear.

I felt a pang of guilt for not being able to spend more happy time with my dad before he died. I also felt the guilt coming back because, well, I killed him. I blamed myself a lot the first few months, and eventually, my mom and Seth convinced me that it was fate – which had screwed me over in every aspect if you wanted to think it was true – that killed him, not me. Mom had said it was his time to go and I didn't know if that was true or not. Actually, I was convinced it wasn't his time to go anywhere. After phasing with Seth... Well, we needed our dad to explain everything to us. I needed him to hold me tight when I broke down and tell me that he loved me and I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that Sam Uley had obviously missed out on something great. Luckily we had mom and the other elders, but the night I phased was the changing point in my life. I still looked at it as the worst night of my life, and it would always be that. Not even my and Sam's break up could compare to having to face Sam in wolf form that night, and then returning to the medics pronouncing my father dead on our living room floor.

I remembered Sam holding me that night, despite our rocky – putting it mildly – relationship after the break up, but I had been hysterical and hadn't been aware of anything going on around me. I phased back first and soon after, they got Seth to phase back, too. He had thought phasing had been amazingly cool, but the worry for our father had him back to his human body in no time. Sam kept his strong arms around me, whispering soothing words into my ear, patting my hair down as I cried on the stairs. He had been my best friend before the break up – Aside from Emily – and no matter what, I would always appreciate him being there for me that night as the friend that I desperately needed.

Rebecca, Rachel and Kim were talking, but I was tuned out. I turned on my heel and walked outside of the hall. I needed to be alone and the fresh air hit me like a welcome gust of relief. I could still hear the music playing from inside, though it was significantly softer. I inhaled the damp air. It was raining out, but I was under the canopy, safe from the water droplets. Honestly, I kind of just wanted to phase and go for a run before returning to the hall, but I knew I'd get soaked and wasn't willing to risk looking like a drowned rat next to Jacob. I straightened up my dress, the neckline having drooped slightly and I positioned it the right way. It hugged my curves and while I looked down at it I have the reoccurring thought that I looked hot. It was nice to feel that edge of confidence, I decided.

"Leah?" My mom's voice flowed out the doors. I had managed to blink back all of the tears and pick myself back up.

"Yeah?"

"You okay, dear?" Mom came out, closing the door behind her and touched my arm soothingly.

I nodded, "Yes. I just needed some air."

No words needed to be spoken before my mom took me into her arms. I stayed composed, knowing my dad was looking down on all of us. A few, long moments passed before I decided to break the silence, pulling back a little to see her face.

"Mom... Do you miss him? I know you're with Charlie now, but he's not dad."

My mother looked down at me and frowned. "Of course I miss him, Leah. I miss him every single day. Charlie isn't going to replace your father, it's just nice to be able to spend time with someone else. I'll never replace your father. He was the love of my life."

I smiled at her answer. "I'm thankful I had two parents who love each other so much, even in death. It's... Well, it gives me hope that maybe someday I'll have that kind of love."

My mom brushed her thumb over my cheek. "You have Jacob," she pointed out.

I nodded. "Yes, but well.. I'm always scared one of us will imprint. I just wish I could know if me and Jacob are going to be able to stay together for well... Forever."

"Are you guys that serious?"

I licked my lips and felt somewhat embarrassed. "Yes, I just don't want to invest all this time and energy into something that will end up ending the way Sam and I did."

My mom nodded. "Don't hold yourself back because of the what if's, Leah. If you love him, then that's all you can ask for right now. You both know the consequences of being involved sans imprint, but I think you'll be just fine."

"Mom... Jake said that you guys – the elders – thought that maybe there was another way he and I could be together. Like, you guys see our relationship as another kind of imprint, almost."

If my mom was shocked by this information, she didn't know it, which reassured me of it's truth. "Well, I guess yes, that's a possibility, Leah." She hesitated. "I just want you happy, so be careful, but don't lock yourself up and throw away the key, okay?"

I gave her a small smile as she took my hand, leading me back inside. "Thank you."

As we got in, the mother-son dance was finished, as well as the father-daughter and everyone was out on the dance floor. I was quick to find Jacob as we parted. He was on the dance floor, dancing with his sisters and I smiled watching them before I cut in.

The night was fun, honestly. The next few songs I danced with just the girls; Rachel, Rebecca and Kim. Emily hadn't yet made her way over to us and I was glad. Finally, our feet tired, we went over to a nearby table and sat down, mindless chatter filling the air around us. It was only a few seconds into the next slow song that I realized what it was. My and Sam's song. Our high school song. The song we would of danced to senior year as prom king and queen if we had of made it like everyone thought we would. We had both been well-liked in high school and Sam was on a few sports teams. We were definitely in line for those titles at prom. 

It wasn't anyone's fault that the song came on, no. The DJ had his own list of must-have's, then he got to throw some in. This song wasn't on the list, of that, I was sure, which was why Sam caught my gaze from the dance floor, a sad, apologetic look in his eyes. His eyes... I immediately avoided them.

I tried to block it out; the words; the meaning; the night on the beach when we first danced to this. I had to block it out. This was supposed to be our wedding song. My life. Sam promised he would never leave me; that this was us, forever and always, against the world. That's when I realized there were tears running down my cheeks.

_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright. I don't wanna mess this thing up, no I don't wanna push too far. Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life, so baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight... _

The song felt like it was entering my chest, ripping me open. I was supposed to be stronger than this. I was supposed to be okay. It was supposed to be better now with Jacob. It had just been a shock to hear it; too many memories flooded back with this song, and I couldn't help but to be affected by it. Some things would never leave you. I was better, but I was allowed to have moments like these, too while I fully accepted everything. I was allowed.

Sam came over then and took my hand, dragging me out onto the floor. I didn't resist him, even if I had of tried, my limbs felt like Jell-O, and I would have failed. He placed his hands on my hips. Reflexively, I placed my arms around his neck and he pulled me close, inhaling my scent as our bodies molded together like they used to. His cologne was different tonight from what I remembered and I was glad that not everything was the same.

"I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "I didn't know he was going to play this."

"It's fine," my breath hitched in my throat.

"No, it's not. I should have made sure they didn't..." He looked down at me, my tears dried on my cheeks, but my mascara still running.

He reached up and wiped the make-up off my cheeks. "You look beautiful, Lee," he whispered. "I really am sorry. About everything."

This was bigger than the both of us, and for a moment, we looked at each other in a way I knew we never would again. He was my cousin-in-law now. He was family. He was married. But that look... It was like we were looking into each others souls; like our love was still there, somewhere, inside both of us. It didn't hurt to think about, it was just one of those moments where you felt suspended in time. We were hardly moving on the dance floor, mostly just idly swaying in the same spot, and I finally looked away from his smoldering gaze. I knew I would never see those feelings in his eyes ever again; love and adoration. It was a nice finalizing moment to everything we shared. I had gotten closure over what had happened, and continued to feel better about it, but I was glad we had this last dance.

I leaned in, resting my head on his shoulder and he pulled me tighter to his frame. No words had to be spoken to convey either of our comfort right then. The song brought back memories of him kissing me at the end of it; kissing me all night at the end of it, followed by unspeakable actions, but I was glad I got one last memory with him.

We had both moved on, though, and as soon as the song ended, we hugged each other, – a final goodbye – and I walked over to Jacob who was waiting on the sidelines, watching. Sam went over to Emily who had been dancing with Paul, and that was that.

"Wanna blow this pop stand?" I asked Jacob, taking one of his hands in my own.

"You okay?" He asked seriously, giving me a once over. I was afraid he was angry or hurt that I had danced with Sam, but his words affirmed that he only had my best interest in mind.

I nodded, "Yes. More okay than I have been in a long time. I've got you and right now I just want to celebrate that."

He knew what I meant and his eyes scanned me, up and down. "Are you sure? They haven't even done the garter/boquet toss yet," he pointed out.

"One hundred percent, I think I'm done with all that fate shit. What happens happens."

He smiled down at me and kissed my lips lovingly. "If you're ready, I'm ready."

**Authors Note: Okay so I hope you guys like this chapter and I also need some help from you! I'm so confused; on the twilightsagawiki it says that Sam is Sue's nephew... That would mean he's Leah and Seth's cousins... Right? Sue was a Uley before marrying Harry Clearwater... I'm mildly disturbed if that makes Sam and Leah cousins... Unless they meant that he's her nephew because he married her niece, which you think they would add 'by marriage' there somewhere because they have 'adoptive' on all the Cullen's wikipage in reference to the brothers/sisters... If you have any insight on the family tree please please message me so I'm not horrified any longer!**

Also, I wanted to mention to you all that I did get some mixed-reviews on the Leah/Jacob lemon and I want to warn you all in advance that I will be writing it in in the next chapter, so if you don't want to read it, that's okay, you can just skip over it! I'll have another warning written at the top of the chapter for those of you uncomfortable, but the majority want to read it!

Reviews would be appreciated!  
-Dramaticfield


	17. Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn

**Leah Clearwater; Wounded**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Authors Note: I've tentatively decided that although delayed, this will be the last chapter of this story. If desired, in your reviews/PM's, let me know if you want a sequel written to this story! If not, enjoy the last chapter, and thank you all for your continued support and feedback! I have other stories, so Blackwater isn't over just yet, go check them out!**

**Jacob's point of view**

"Congratulations, Sam," I said, coming up behind the newlyweds. Sam turned and gave me a smile, Emily hugging me.

"Thank you, Jacob. For being my best man," Sam said as Emily pulled back.

"And thank you for looking after Leah," Emily quickly added. "I know it wasn't easy for her, but I'm glad she has you, and that she came."

I just nodded. "We're going to head off there now. Have a good honeymoon, but don't be gone too long," he teased. Sam was leaving him in charge of the pack with his absence.

"You can handle it," he remarked. "I'm only a phone call – or a phase away."

"I know, it'll be fine. Enjoy."

Sam nodded, and an awkward moment fell over us. "Jacob..." Sam said hesitantly, before reaching out and offering him his hand. "Take care of her. I'm serious. Don't hurt her like I did. She deserves someone like you." Sam was giving me his blessing I realized. Even though I didn't need it, it was nice for him to admit that he had no claim over her anymore.

I reached out and took his hand, shaking it. "I'll take care of her, Sam."

He nodded, and then let go. "Thank-you. She's in good hands."

**Leah's point of view**

Jacob and I said our goodbyes to our friends, and I opted to wait for him outside while he said goodbye to Sam and Emily. As far as I was concerned, my goodbyes had been said and I was just ready to leave. I had packed a small bag and it was in the back seat of Jacob's rabbit and I was confused to see another small bag next to mine considering I surprised Jacob with the hotel.

"Ready to go?" He asked, sliding into the drivers seat.

"For sure. Why do you have a bag?"

"After you told me I bowed out," he said, grinning. "I knew I'd need some stuff so I ran home and then came back. So where exactly is this hotel?"

I smiled at him, and then directed him to a mediocre hotel just a couple blocks down the street, farther from La Push than the hall was. Once he pulled into the lot and parked, he took the keys from the ignition and took a deep breath in. Turning to me, he said, "You're one hundred and fifty percent sure."

"Yes," I verified once again. "Why do you keep asking?"

"I just want to make sure," he said softly, his eyes boring into mine.

"Well don't. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

He chuckled and reached behind, grabbing both our bags. "Okay, Lee."

We both got out of the car and Jake locked it before we checked in at the front desk. We were on the second floor, room twenty-eight. We got the elevator up and I unlocked the door to reveal a medium-sized room with one, large, king-sized bed as the focal point. There were large, bay-windows on one whole wall and deep burgundy curtains pulled back to reveal all the lights of the city in the reflection of the glass. The room was covered in white, red and black tones and shades and the headboard was a fabric mesh with buttons shaping the fabric into large squares. There was a dresser opposite the bed for people with longer stays than ours and a bathroom was connected on our close left. The carpet was a deep red, and the walls were a pale beige with red and white lamps all around the room in different places. There was a phone on the night table and the duvet on the bed that looked like heaven.

Jacob shut the door behind us and laid our bags on the chair by the dresser, exploring the room. I stood in the doorway and kicked my heels off. Jacob looked out the glass, at all of the lights from below and then turned, throwing his suit jacket onto the chair with our bags and loosening his tie.

"Remind me to never put on a suit again," he said playfully. I could only imagine how warm he was in the suit.

I laughed and walked over to the bed after locking the door, and sitting down on it. The duvet was definitely as comfortable as it looked. "I'm sure Rachel will be getting married soon, and Kim, so unfortunately you probably don't have long until you get to wear it again," I informed him as he undid all of the buttons on his shirt after finally getting the tie off.

"Don't remind me," he grumbled before coming over to me and kissing me.

The fact that he was shirtless made the kiss a lot more heated than it originally would have been if he... well, if he had all of his clothes on. He pulled back, leaving me laid back on the bed while he turned the lights off. The lights from the balcony outside and all of the lights from the life down below was just enough for us to see.

He came back over and we eagerly started kissing again, somehow making it under the blankets in the process.

"Leah," he breathed against my lips after a few, long moments of the silence having been filled with the succulent sound of our lips against the others. "Are you su-"

"Don't," I said gently, shaking my head. "I want you – this."

Jacob nodded, our eyes boring into each others and he started kissing me again, this time, with a passion that I didn't think was possible. He held himself up over me, his lips leaving mine, venturing to my neck and collarbone before returning to their original position.

I shivered under his touch, and I knew this was a big moment for him. He was a virgin until now, even though most guys didn't usually dwell on their first time like girls did. I wanted to make it special and instead of undressing him, I reached down and pulled my dress up slightly, over my tummy, exposing my lace panties. Jacob helped me bring it up further, and exposed my matching bra before pulling back and letting the dress fall to the floor. I reached down, feeling my body reacting appropriately, and undid his belt, his pants button, and zipper. Jacob kicked them off to the end of the bed, somewhere in between all the covers. Only undergarment were left, and I took a deep breath in as our lips parted and he began kissing the top of the flesh of my breasts.

"Leah," Jacob whispered against my skin. "You're so beautiful."

Beautiful. While hastily removing clothing from one another usually sexy and hot were terms used, but I flushed slightly when he called me beautiful. It was like he saw another side of me. I wasn't used to feeling pretty anymore. Of course, the guys all used to think I was hot. And when I joined the pack at first – before I showed them how bitchy I could be, they all admired my body when I'd phase on the fly, by accident in front of the guys. Even Sam, I noticed. But once my personality changed, so did the guys admiration. I didn't want to think about that now, though. I looked up at Jacob, who was studying my features.

I felt his bulge against my inner thigh and I reached down, playing with the band of his boxers. Jacob tensed, and then leaned down, kissing my lips softly. His hand wrapped around my breast and I groaned into the kisses, slipping my hand under his boxers like I had one time before. I caressed him, and his moans flowed freely from his lips, to mine. He reached behind me, and somehow managed to unhook my bra with only a few tries. He slipped it down and off my shoulders and then threw it to the floor with some kind of animal drive behind it.

Jacob reached down once that material was gone and both of our lower bottoms were off soon after.

"I should get a condom," he said gently.

I felt the mood slightly dampen, but shook my head. "I can't get pregnant, Jacob."

Jacob looked like he wanted to kick himself. He had forgotten. I guess when Jacob pictured his first time, he wanted to be safe and make sure everything was okay; like he would have had to do with a normal girl. But being the she wolf I was, I was infertile and still struggled to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't have children. It hit below the belt, but I knew Jacob meant no harm.

"I'm sorry, Lee..."

I shook my head and smiled up at him. "Don't worry. But no, you shouldn't."

He chuckled awkwardly, and I resumed the kissing, pushing the slip-up past us. We kissed for a few, long minutes and I wondered if Jacob was nervous, because he never tried to advance our position. I looked up to him, breaking the contact.

"Is everything okay?"

He nodded, and looked down at my body under him. "Yes, perfect."

Our lips were suddenly bruising as we pushed them together and I felt butterflies in my tummy flutter as Jacob lined up to enter me. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips, feeling him at my entrance, and he flicked my nipples with his fingertips. He took my moan as a good thing, and he started to push into me.

I hadn't been with a man in so long that I felt the pinch return when Jacob entered me, my walls tight around him. I tried not to compare, but I could feel how big Jacob was in comparison to... Well, past experiences. I cringed slightly and he pulled back. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Yes."

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head. "No." And it didn't.

Jacob looked down into my eyes for a second before deciding I was telling the truth, and he nodded, moving ever so slowly inside of me, pushing farther.

But a moan had already escaped my lips, my body conforming to his own. He took that as a good sign, and he brought his lips down to mine. Once Jacob started moving rhythmically inside of me, I felt everything in my body crying out for him. For his first time, he definitely knew what he was doing. I bucked my hips up to meet his own, and every time he moved I was equally as surprised as the last time how good he felt inside of me, skin or skin with no latex between my body and his. The sounds filling the room were full of love and passion. Jacob gripped my thighs, hitting me even harder.

"Jacob..."

"God, I love hearing you say my name like that," he grunted, moving his lips down to my neck and collarbone. "Leah, you're so fucking sexy and beautiful."

Hearing him say that was still so odd in a way. "You're not too bad yourself," I whimpered. "God, Jake..."

A moan escaped his lips and filled the room, and as he moved faster inside of me, bringing his fingers down to stroke my clit, I could hardly contain myself. I continued to arch my hips up to him so he could fill me up... more and more... I gripped his shoulders, digging my fingernails in, and the sweat was already accumulated all over our bodies.

"You feel so good, Lee," he whispered in my ear, his voice hitching.

My body felt it's release coming, and I moaned loudly as I felt Jacob cum inside of me, moments before I let my body go.

Jacob rolled off me a few long seconds later, and took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. "Wow."

"Yep," I murmured as he pulled me against his chest.

I looked up at him; his finely chiseled cheek bones, and his jaw line; his bare chest. He was... Well, a man, no matter how old he was. "If you ever," I said softly. "Think about this when we're phased... I swear."

Jacob laughed. "Well, I can't make any promises, Lee, you know how it is-"

I kissed him, cutting him off, but then playfully hit him. "I'm serious, Jake."

"Who cares?" He teased back. "The guys know we're together."

I glared at him, only half jokingly.

"I'm kidding, Lee. I'll try my best."

"Good," I said solemnly.

Jacob reached over and grabbed two robes sitting on the chair next to the bed. "Here," he said, as he put his on.

I followed his lead, and got off the bed, following him outside. "Where are you going?"

They were one floor away from the roof, and Jacob got up on the banister and hauled himself effortlessly up to the top. "Come on," he motioned. I followed him hastily, and we both ended up on the roof, looking down on the town lights.

"So you're feeling okay?" Jacob asked. "Since the wedding?"

Leah sighed and nodded. "Yes. Sam and I are over, in every sense. I've accepted that there's nothing left for us. We have memories, and I'll always keep them close, but it's better this way."


End file.
